


only fools rush in

by vanessamary



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 50's AU, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Rockabilly, F/M, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Rockabilly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-24
Packaged: 2018-02-06 00:44:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 47,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1838155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanessamary/pseuds/vanessamary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"That rockabilly sound wasn't as simple as I thought it was." - Carl Perkins, 1954.</p><p>It's 1956 and Autumn is descending on the town, when Liam, Louis, and Jade find themselves expanding their horizons, learning abut life, love, and everything in between, all to the tune of that rockabilly music their parents keep warning them about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	only fools rush in

**only fools rush in**

_I'm sure to fall, fall in love I'm sure to fall in love with you  
You are so sweet and we are so near, I'm sure to fall in love with you_

xxx

The sun rises over the horizon, spreading pinks and reds over the rows of suburban homes, as Liam tosses a newspaper onto the Larson’s porch. Liam peddles a little faster, one hand gripping the handlebar while the other whips paper after paper onto his neighbour’s lawn. He sees Mr. Dunn step out in his robe and pajamas and Liam waves hello, smiling brightly before peddling onward. The cotton of his button-down rubs against the back of his neck uncomfortably as sweat begins to form and Liam is thankful that his morning route is almost over.

Braking at the last house on Myer Street, Liam kicks out the stand of his bike and stretches out his long legs as his converse hit the pavement. Smoothing his shirt down and sliding a hand over his hair to make sure not a strand is out of place, Liam grips a copy of the morning paper and makes his way up the driveway. 

He frowns when he finds the porch empty, his steps stuttering against the walkway beside the flowerbed of tulips, and just lays the newspaper on top of the welcome mat before turning around. Shoving his hands in the pockets of his Levi’s and kicking at a pebble in his way, Liam starts towards his bike.

“You’re early,” says a voice behind him.

Liam spins, the rubber of his shoes cutting against the concrete, and a grin perks up on his lips. Standing in the crevice of the open door with a small grin on his face is Zayn Malik, shirt still unbuttoned and hair grease untouched, leaving his dark hair soft and unstyled. Liam pauses before bringing his hand up to rub at the back of his neck, spots of red painting the high points of his round cheeks as he smiles. This makes Zayn grin wider, closing the front door behind him as he steps out further onto the porch and stares lazily down at Liam.

“Or I’m just late.” Zayn says through his smile. Zayn glances back at his house before sliding out the cigarette from behind his ear and popping it in between his plump lips and lighting it quickly. Liam still doesn’t say a word, teeth gnawing at his bottom lip as he tries to think of something clever to say. He watches Zayn exhale into the morning air, still staring down at him with that smile, and Liam just shrugs.

So much for clever.

Zayn leans down and picks up the newspaper, the ink-stained pages going limp in his firm grip. His golden eyes scan the front page before looking back at Liam. Zayn nods at the porch swing next to him before saying with a sly smile,

“You wanna join me? I hear that Dennis is being a serious pest to old Mr. Wilson.”

A laugh slips through Liam’s lips though he tries to bite it down before he shakes his head, thumb pointing back at his bike.

“Gotta finish the route before homeroom.”

Zayn only nods, his hair flopping back and forth on his forehead as he takes another drag of the cigarette between his fingers. Not knowing what else to say, Liam stuffs his hands back into the pockets of his jeans and makes his way down the drive.

He swings his leg over his bike, unlatching the stand and gripping the handlebars, chancing one last look at Zayn. The dark-haired boy is leaning against the porch bannister, stubbing out his cigarette and smirking down at the paper as he flips it open.

Liam shakes his head and begins to peddle away, the smell of cigarettes and the phrase ‘you’re early’ sticking to his skin as he whistles out Carl Perkins, the sun perched in the sky.

\--

The high school’s halls seem to vibrate with life in the early mornings. High-pitched laughter and gleeful storytelling illuminate the grey-toned building as young men and women gather by their lockers. Liam loves early mornings. Whether it’s to do his paper route, football practice, or the occasional run, he loves rising with the sun to start his day.

Louis, on the other hand, does not.

“I hate mornings.” Louis moans, his entire body resting against the lockers as his eyes refuse to stay open. He crosses his legs at the ankles, the rolled up cuffs of his jeans shifting against each other, before tipping his head back and closing his eyes fully.

“I couldn’t tell.” Liam replies.

He rolls his eyes and stuffs some textbooks into his locker before pulling out the ones he’ll need for the day, hearing Louis groan beside him. Liam pops his head out of his locker, shutting it with a sigh before leaning against it. He’s about to tell Louis to stop being so dramatic when Jade saunters over, skirt swinging by her ankles and a smile brightening her kind face.

Liam straightens up, fixing his letterman jacket over his broad shoulders while smiling in return. She says hello, earning a chirpy response from Liam and another groan from Louis, before grinning solely up at Liam. He’s been friends with Jade since they were kids, with her frizzy hair and pigeon-toes and a snorting laugh that echoes, and he couldn’t imagine not having her around.

“Just wanted to wish you good luck today, Li.” She says, swooping her bangs away from her face.

Liam ducks his head, feeling his cheeks light up at her praise. He tucks his hands into his jacket pockets before meeting her eye again.

“Thanks, Jade. You know I’m only second string, though. The only action I’m gonna see is the from the bench.”

She starts to speak, her soft pink lips wrapping around words that are probably encouraging and sweet but all Liam can focus on is the flash of leather jackets and rough laughter pushing behind her.  
He could spot Zayn among the crowd of leather and denim - the dark shine of his hair and the glint of his golden gaze is hard to miss amongst the sea of collared shirts and poodle skirts - and he can’t seem to look away. He knows he should be focusing on what Jade is saying - his mother taught him to be a gentleman, after all - but then Zayn lets out a bark of laughter at something his friend, Jesy, says and Liam is transfixed.

He’s interesting to watch -- they all are -- with the weird, slicked back ‘do and the easy, laid-back approach they took to life. Never taking anything or anyone too seriously. Liam wonders what that feels like.

A pair of golden eyes find his and Liam means to look away, a blush already creeping up his neck at being caught staring, but the small smile Zayn sends his way stops him. Jesy nudges Zayn’s arm, loud voice echoing in the halls as she calls him a space case, bringing his attention away from Liam.

A small hand shakes him out of his thoughts, his eyes snapping back to Jade who looks concerned instead of annoyed.

“Sorry, Jade.” His brow furrowing as he apologizes. “Didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

She nods slowly, looking over her shoulder at Zayn and his friends, before turning back to him. He opens his mouth to form some explanation as to why he would be staring over at Zayn instead of listening to her but snaps his jaw shut when he realizes he doesn’t actually know what to say.

Luckily, the bell rings above them and Liam is saved from having to say anything. He grips his textbook resting against his hip as the hallway buzzes with people shuffling to homeroom, laughter slowly petering out into a dull hum of chatter. To his left, Louis slides off the lockers and pats Liam’s shoulder before moving down the hall.

“See ya at Dinah’s after the game?” He shouts as he walks backward into the masses, not expecting an answer as the people around him move out the way without question. With one last wave, Louis’ out of sight and it’s just Liam and Jade hovering by the lockers.

“Shall we, then?” Liam extends the crook of his elbow for Jade. She smiles up at him, a soft look in her eyes as she loops her arm through his.

As they make their way down the emptying halls, Liam glances once more over at the leather-clad group only to find a pair of golden eyes meeting his. Before he can react, Jade is guiding him forward and around the corner, the final warning bell about to ring.

\--

_Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream_  
_Make him the cutest that I've ever seen_  
_Give him two lips like roses and clover_  
_Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over_

The school day has been over for almost an hour, the last bell having rung and students headed home, but Jade is still holed up in the music room. As a close friend of the student council president - and a member of the council herself - she was able to commandeer the music room after school on certain days, to finish up assignments or work on the choir’s new melody.

Sheets of music are spread out before her, a pencil in her tiny grip as she scribbles on the pages, her hair falling into her eyes more than once. The piano keys are gentle beneath her fingertips as she plays, humming along with the sound and bobbing her head before actually beginning to sing.

She rehearses the new song a couple more times before stopping mid-verse when she spots the time on the clock above the chalkboard. With a small squeal, she picks up her notes and stuffs them in her bag, sliding her glasses back on her nose before running out the door and down the hall, her backpack trailing behind her as she goes.

Jade pushes open the front door of the school, hoping to catch the bus in time, when a voice calls out her name.

“Niall?” She says, lifting up her hand to shield her eyes from the sun. Sure enough there is Niall, sitting on the hood of his car, timidly waving with a grin so bright it could rival the sun above.

“Liam said you’d be working late, thought we’d head over to his game together?” He says as she walks up, his smile widening.

“That’d be cool, Niall. Thank you.”

“Cool?” He smirks, jumping off the hood. “Don’t catch Liam hearing you use that hipster talk, he might have a spaz attack.”

Jade gently smacks his chest. “Liam is not my keeper, Ni. And neither are you. I can talk however I want.”

With that, she walks over to the passenger side of the car as Niall smiles goofily behind her. Shaking his head, he rushes up to her in order to open the door just as Jade goes to reach for it.

“Let me get that,” he says, pink tinges his cheeks. “Darn thing gets stuck a lot.”

Jade smiles, scoops up her long skirt and ducks inside the car. Niall slowly closes the door and walks around the front of the car, getting into the driver’s seat and slipping in the keys. As the car starts and the radio turns on - _Please turn on your magic beam. Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream_ \- the pair start to softly sing along as Niall drives out of the school parking lot, Jade sending Niall small smiles every time he looks over at her.

As the song comes to an end, Jade thinks about how glad she is that Liam is playing an away game tonight.

\--

_Too real is this feeling of make-believe,_  
_Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal._

Dinah’s Diner is at full capacity when Liam steps through the glass doors, a mix of people on and off the football team talking and laughing in the red booths. A few of the second string guys hung back, sitting in their cars with their sweethearts but Liam knew that Louis would’ve commandeered a booth by the jukebox by now. As a senior - and student class president - Louis tends to get whatever he wants. His charming smile and bright blue eyes don’t seem to hurt either, Louis always adds.

“Blue Suede Shoes” is playing on the jukebox as Liam spots where Louis, Jade, and Niall are sitting, Niall’s arms out in front of him as he tells what is sure to be another hilarious story. Niall goes to a high school in the district across town but still manages to make it up to Dinah’s for game days. He and Liam met through their parents at a barbeque last summer, the blonde’s cheery demeanor and love for football making them click instantly. Niall slipped into their little group quite easily, even managed to get Louis a job with him at the local record store, The Bop, for the fall.

Liam makes his way to the counter of the soda shop, some of the stools taken by girls sipping on milkshakes or a bottle of Coca-Cola, celebrating the night’s win. He shrugs his shoulders under his jacket and slides one hand over his hair on instinct, making sure his neat, clean-cut look is just that. He braces himself on the countertop with his forearms, waiting for someone to come take his order while nodding along to the The Platters. He cranes his neck to look over at his friends, watching as Leigh-Anne stops by to chat with Jade.

“Good game today?” says a voice across the counter.

Liam snaps his neck toward the voice, already knowing it’s Zayn behind the counter, smirking over at him. Liam can already feel his face heat up and bites his bottom lip to stop from grinning too hard over at Zayn, who’s wiping down the counter while looking over at Liam. Zayn always works on game days, Liam’s noticed, but he’s never actually seen him at any of the games. Not that he’d be looking, of course. There’s just not much to do on the bench...

“It was.” Liam gets out. “The team’s on cloud nine.”

“And you?”

“Hmm?” Liam asks, brow bunching forward in confusion.

“Are you ‘on cloud nine’?” Zayn asks, mocking Liam’s choice of words with a smile.

Liam ducks his head, shrugging a little and dragging his thick fingers over the smooth surface of the counter. He clears his throat, looking up at anywhere other than where Zayn stands, hands propping him up against the counter as those golden eyes stare unwaveringly at Liam. His jelly roll ‘do shines under the lights, the grease holding it all in place and aligning with the sharp edges of his face.

“I guess?” Liam says, almost like a question.

“Is that a question or an answer?”

“Huh?”

“Either you’re happy about the win or not, it’s as simple as that.”

Liam brings his eyes back up to Zayn’s, shrugging again and trying to will down the heat that is threatening to pink up his cheeks. He always says the dumbest things. Zayn continues to stare at him, golden eyes flickering over his face and Liam feels compelled to explain.

“I mean, I didn’t do anything but sit pretty and holler from the bench.”

“Sitting pretty, huh? I bet.” Zayn says, teeth biting into his bottom lip, wiping his hands on the white fabric of his apron, his lips pushing out the word pretty with a slight emphasis. The way his mouth tilts just so and the way his eyes bore into Liam’s gave him the impression that he didn’t mean it in the same way Liam did. Zayn sounded like Niall whenever he talked about Jayne Mansfield or that girl who worked at the city library, and Liam didn’t know what to do with that.

He could just be mocking Liam, like he always does when Liam says something square or talks about football, but the way he is looking at Liam right now, body leaning forward over the counter, has Liam wondering. What, exactly, he doesn’t really know.

“Hey Liam!” Louis shouts from the booth, making Zayn start a little and step back from the counter as Liam looks over at his friend. “Your soda’s getting warm and we gotta split soon.”

“I’m coming!” He yells back. He turns back to Zayn to continue their conversation only to find the boy at the other end of the counter hunched over on a stool with a book in his hand, fingers reaching up to fondle the cigarette behind his ear. Liam pushes off from the counter, confused and a more than a little thrown at Zayn’s immediate change in behaviour, and makes his way over to his friends.

“There he is!” Niall yells, arms outstretched.

Liam grins at his friends and slides into the seat next to Jade, arm swinging over the top of the booth as he leans back. He wraps his left hand around the bottle of Coca-Cola, condensation dampening his skin as he lifts it up to his lips. He swallows roughly when he catches Zayn’s eye over at the counter, dropping his gaze quickly and setting down his drink.

“What took you so long, anyway?” Louis asks as if he knows the answer, blue eyes narrowed curiously.

“Was ordering a drink. But you guys had that covered so then I didn’t.” Liam lies, not really knowing why.

“I didn’t know you knew Malik.” Louis presses. “What were you talking about? It seemed important.”

Liam huffs out a laugh, “What’s with the twenty questions, Lou? I was just asking about milkshakes.”

“Yeah, Lou, what’s the sweat?” Jade asks, nudging her glasses up her small nose. She leans forward on the table, her tiny shoulders rising by her ears and making her look even tinier. Liam gives her a look, wondering when Jade started using words like ‘sweat’ and questioning Louis Tomlinson.

Luckily, Niall interrupts to remind them that Jade has curfew in twenty minutes and they better split before her mother gets angry. Swallowing down the rest of his drink, Liam stands up from the booth, extending a hand out to Jade who takes it quietly and dabs a kiss on Liam’s cheek in thanks. Despite Jade being like a sister to him, Liam breaks out into a blush and ducks his head to hide as the four of them make their way out of the diner.

With one last look at the boy behind the counter - who doesn’t look up once as they leave - Liam slides his hands in his letterman jacket pockets and sighs, following Jade out into the car. As they drive away from the diner Liam can’t stop thinking about how the stars sparkling down on them didn’t compare to the glint in Zayn’s eyes when he said Liam was pretty.

\--

“You boys did good yesterday!”

“Nice work, son.”

“Which number are you again?”

Liam smiles politely at each person who congratulates him or talks to him about last night’s game, trying not to mind too much when he has to explain over and over that he’s not technically on the team, that second string players aren’t good enough to play the field. He hands over the morning paper and smooths down the front of his checkered button-up before heading down yet another driveway, trying to shake the buzz of irritation under his skin.

He tosses another newspaper on the Dunn’s front porch before peddling by the following houses and doing the same, trying not to think about how they always respond with the same embarrassed smile as he says the words ‘second string’.

“Still good to be a part of the team,” they’ll say and Liam peddles harder. Peddles past each house, barely registering his own movements as he thinks about every week on the bench, every week in that letterman jacket that doesn’t really mean anything unless you’re out on the field, jersey covered in dirt, sweat on your brow. Second string.

His calves ache as he pushes and pushes, arm tossing out bundle after bundle until all of a sudden, the tires skew underneath him and he skids across the concrete. Newspapers fly everywhere, his bike crashes along the lines of finely mowed grass lawns and Liam finds himself with his back on the pavement, skin scratched and bruised. He puffs out a breath and pauses for a moment, mind processing what’s just happened. It’s quiet, as he lays there.

His body throbs in all the places that came in contact with the ground but he just stays still and listens to the tranquility of the early morning to quiet down the roar of thoughts in his head. Exhaling harshly, Liam slowly gets to his feet and brushes off the pebbles and dirt that coat the cotton and denim of his clothes.

A glance down at his watch tells him he’s at least ahead of schedule and so he picks up the last two bundles of newspapers, latching them onto the back of his bike before righting it. He makes his way down Myer Street on his two feet, the bike on his left, feeling the bruises blooming under his skin.

When he reaches the last house - _Zayn’s_ house - Liam is too distracted by exhaustion and pain to notice the dark-haired figure sitting on the porch steps until he’s almost in front of him. Zayn looks up at him with a smile but it drops the minute he fully gets a look at Liam, the gold of his eyes narrowing into slits. Liam hands him the newspaper but Zayn tosses it to the side immediately.

“What happened to you?” He asks, standing up from the porch.

He’s not wearing his leather jacket - just a simple pair of Levis and a white tee - making his features seem slightly less intimidating to Liam. His hair is greased into a duck tail style, like all his friends do, and he’s already got a cigarette stick tucked behind his ear, the pack rolled up in the sleeves of his tee.

A part of Liam had been hoping Zayn wouldn’t be out on the porch when he came by, saving him from the humiliation of telling the too-cool-for-school Zayn Malik that he fell off his bike when he was thinking about how inadequate he is. Only luck is not on his side this morning - or any morning, really - and the words are out of Liam’s mouth before he can stop them.

“I - uh - fell off my bike.” Liam ducks his head a little, smiling sheepishly over at Zayn.

The other boy steps forward until Liam can smell the scent of morning coffee and cigarettes on his skin. Liam stares at Zayn, waiting for him to make fun of him or say something about how stupid Liam is but instead Zayn raises his hand towards Liam’s face, the soft pad of his thumb rubbing at the skin of his temple.

As every nerve ending in his body seizes up and then ignites, Liam stands stock still as Zayn swipes his thumb against his temple over and over before dropping his hand back to his side and rubbing it against his jeans.

“You had blood,” he says softly, clenching his fist by his side. “On your face, I mean.”

Face rushing with heat, Liam brings his hand up to his temple and wipes at it just as Zayn did. When he looks down at his fingers, spots of red blood colour his skin and Liam wonders when he hit his head on the pavement. He clears his throat, body still humming from Zayn’s touch and his brain in overdrive as he tries to think about _what that means_.

“Thanks. I fell.” He repeats dumbly.

“You said that already.” Zayn smirks, reaching into his back pocket and producing a red cloth bandana that he hands over to Liam. “For the cut.”

As Liam presses the cloth to his head with a small thank you falling from his lips, Zayn says, “Why don’t you go home and clean that up?”

“Paper route, remember.” Liam says, nodding back at his bike that’s looking a little dinged up.

Zayn is quiet for a moment as if thinking something over before he claps his hands together and makes a noise of triumph. Liam opens his mouth to ask what it is that Zayn has succeeded in but the other boy just pushes past him and walks over to his bike.

“You comin’, sporto?” Zayn asks over his shoulder, long fingers wrapping around the handlebars as his golden eyes watch Liam.

“What’re you doing?”

“Why coming with you, of course.” Zayn answers matter-of-factly.

“Why?”

“Because.”

“That’s not really an answer.” Liam replies.

“Well that’s all you’re getting so, are you coming or not?” He says, taking the cigarette from behind his ear and slipping it in his mouth. He looks over at Liam in question.

Before he can get the cigarette lit and burning, Liam is down the driveway and by Zayn’s side. Zayn smirks and flicks his lighter open and brings it to him, Liam watching his every move as they stand toe to toe. He doesn’t ask again as to why Zayn is spending his morning tailing him on his paper route but he does notice the careful and slightly worried look that washes over Zayn’s face whenever he points out another bruise or cut from the fall.

“I’m fine.” Liam says for the fourth time. “They’ll heal soon enough.”

Zayn pushes his lips to the side in thought, brow bunching inward as he sucks on a newly lighted cigarette. Liam watches the smoke slip slowly out between the plump flesh of his mouth before blinking rapidly and looking away, his cheeks heating up and his mind whirling around _whywhywhy_.

“How’d you fall off your bike, anyhow?” Zayn asks, rubbing a hand along the side of his hair to make sure the grease is still holding.

“I - uh - got distracted, I guess.” Liam mumbles.

“By?”

Liam rubs at the back of his neck and tosses another newspaper onto another manicured lawn of another suburban home. Turning back towards Zayn, he just shrugs and looks away. Zayn Malik does not want to hear about how square he is and Liam doesn’t want to tell him. Once again, he finds himself doing it anyway.

“I’m not good enough.”

“For?” Zayn asks, his voice soft as he exhales the smoke and his eyes sharp as they watch Liam. Liam goes to speak, wanting to blurt out everything - every bad thought, every mean word whispered in the privacy of his mind. He doesn’t speak, teeth digging into the bitten skin. 

“Liam?”

His eyes flick up to Zayn’s and he wonders why Zayn cares, why he wants to know these things. Confused, Liam shakes his head and rubs a hand over his mouth to stop his teeth from breaking the skin before a word slips out, quiet and shaky.

“Anything.” Liam sighs out. “Anyone.”

Zayn nods silently as they keep walking along, tossing paper after paper until they get to the end of the street and the pile on Liam’s bike is gone. 

Liam wonders why he said anything and wonders why Zayn _hasn’t_ said anything and he wonders if he said too much, his mouth forgetting what his brain knows - Zayn Malik doesn’t really care about him or his problems. The pair turn around the corner to Zayn’s street, converse smacking against the pavement as they go, the bruises along his side almost as painful as the humiliation he feels.

“You are.” Zayn finally says as they reach his house. Liam looks at him quizzically. “Good enough.”  
“At least to me.”

Stunned, Liam stands by his bike with his hands by his side and his mouth slightly agape as Zayn walks backward up to his house with a smirk.

He watches Liam, those golden eyes trailing his every move as he rubs a hand over his stomach as if willing the butterflies inside to still. The _whywhywhy_ at the back of his mind while he waves goodbye to Zayn who slips through the front door with a goofy smile on his face.

\--

_Boy, you don't know what you're doin' to me_  
_Tutti frutti, oh Rudy, tutti frutti, oh Rudy_

The sound of Little Richard’s high squeal is all that can be heard as Louis begins sweeping up the wooden floors of The Bop, his shift of the night almost over. The lights are turned down low, the open sign is flipped to closed and Louis is alone. His converse-clad toes bouncing along the aisles of records as he cleans, his hips tipping from side to side on the beat.

With the broom as his mic stand and his hair flopping atop his head, Louis sings and dances along to the record with abandon. He shimmies along the aisles of top 40s, the sides glimmering under the light of the moon, and he tosses away the dust and dirt.

“I always wondered who Rudy was,” says a deep voice behind him with a laugh as the record clicks into silence.

Louis spins around on his heels to face the front of the store, broom still in hand as he runs a hand over his sweaty hair, the grease losing its hold. A glare falls over Louis’ sharp features, if only to cover up his embarrassment at being caught singing into a broom by a strange boy.

“I locked the door.” He says, irritation evident in his voice.

“Obviously not if I’m in here,” the boy replied, his hands behind his back as he rocks forward on his feet with a cheeky grin on his face. “Nice moves.”

“Shut it.” Louis snaps, cheeks reddening of their own accord as the tall stranger smiles wider. “And we’re closed.”

The boy unclasps his hands and walks further into the store, a bashful look on his face. His white button-up and finely pressed khaki coloured trousers stretch along his lanky form as he moves, green eyes still watching Louis, and he sticks his large hand out for Louis to shake.

“Harry Styles.” He says, fingers tucking inside Louis’ smaller grip. Louis returns the handshake, mouth set in a straight line, wondering what this Harry Styles could possibly want at 10 p.m. on a Thursday night. No one usually comes around the shop this late, let alone gangly teenagers with dimpled smiles.

“And what can I do for you, Harry Styles?”

Harry ducks his head a little and rubs at the back of his head, fingers scratching at the curls along his nape. Louis watches him as he gears up to speak, noticing his timidity and finding it amusing under the haze of weariness due to a long shift.

“Cat got your tongue?” He chuckles. “C’mon, kid, spit it out. I’ve had a long day and as you failed to notice, the sign on the door says ‘closed’.”

Harry’s head snaps up, eyes wide as he apologizes and starts to wring his hands.

“It’s my sister’s birthday tomorrow and I forgot to get her a gift and she loves that new rockabilly stuff she’s been hearing on Bandstand, so I thought I’d come here?” Harry stuffs his hands in his pockets, blushing once more.

“Only, I have no clue what rockabilly is let alone what sides she’ll dig. I hear it from her bedroom and it doesn’t even sound like music to me.”

Louis stares at this boy as his tired mind tries to wrap around the words coming out of Harry’s mouth, eyes blinking slowly. For some reason Lollipop by The Chordettes pops into Louis’ head as he watches the boy talk and bite down on his bottom lip. Who was this Harry Styles? With his neatly pressed clothes and cheeky jokes and absolute ignorance of _good_ music?

Louis slides a hand over his tired face, tucking the broom between the shelves, before letting out a groan.

“There is so much wrong with what you’ve just said to me, kid.”

“Harry.”

“I know.” Louis replies, rolling his eyes and waving him over to the small box by the register. He slaps his hands along the sides and looks over at Harry, who is still staring at Louis with that wide-eyed helplessness, before he slides his fingers over the top of the records.

“Okay so, you got your big three: Cash, Perkins, and Presley.” Louis starts, shifting through the 45s with expertise. “They’re probably what your sister’s into.”

He feels Harry move closer, the tall line of his torso hovering by Louis’ left. Louis glances over at Harry, who’s biting his lip and staring down at the box of 45s.

“Do you know any of the records she already has?”

Harry shakes his head. “I’m pretty out of orbit with this type of music.”

“I can tell.” Louis replies, smirking at Harry before sifting through the last box and pulling a slide out with a soft ‘aha!’.

Louis turns to Harry, his arm brushing against Harry’s as he comes face-to-face with the boy. He holds up the record with both hands up against his chest almost hugging it to himself, before he hands it over to Harry. The curly-haired boy looks down at the 45 in his large hands, brow furrowed as he reads the name on it.

“Gene Vincent.” He reads out slowly, voice deep and considering. “Be-Bop-A-Lula?”

“He’s hep, your sister will freak over this record.” Louis assures him, crossing his arms over his chest and squeezing his arms as he watches Harry continue to stare at the record. “You wanna listen?”

Harry’s snaps his head up before shaking it, mouth opening and closing as he looks for the right words. “I’ve got curfew in ten minutes, Ma will kill me if I’m not home in time for prayers.”

Prayers? Louis blinks slowly at the boy in front of him, wondering which planet he dropped down from and if he could go back up.

“Righto, kid. Lemme ring that up.” He takes the record from Harry’s grip, their skin brushing slightly and making the hairs on Louis’ arms stand on end - _or maybe, it’s cold in the store at night, sometimes, Louis_ \- as he walks around the counter to the register. Harry stands on the other side, hands digging out some change from his trousers and sliding a dime over the wood of the counter. Scooping it up and dropping it into the register, Louis puts the record in a bag and hands it over to Harry, who smiles a little before looking down at his shoes.

“All done, kid. Now your gift won’t be such a bore.” Louis smiles.

“Thank you…” Harry pauses, waiting for a name that Louis gives immediately, if only to see the boy smile once more.

“Louis.”

“Thanks, Louis.”

“No sweat, kid.”

“It’s Harry.”

“I know.” Louis smirks.

Harry steps over to the door and pulls it open, the bell clanging loudly above them in the soft quiet of the almost empty store.

“Oh and Harry? Be here tomorrow afternoon and I can show you some real music.”

Harry smiles brightly, raising the 45 in his hand in thanks before stepping out into the night, his tall form disappearing around the corner quickly. Louis, leaning back against the register, tries to come up with a reason as to why he’d want to see that curly-haired cube but coming up empty.

With one last look over the dimly lit shop, Louis locks up and slips on his short coat before heading home in the opposite direction that Harry went. As the moon shines brightly above his head and his hands stuffed deep in his pockets, Louis found himself whistling The Chordettes on his way home.

\--

_Why this feeling? Why this glow?_  
_Why the thrill when you say hello?_  
_It's a strange and tender magic you do_

The diner is mostly empty on early Sunday mornings - most people opting to sleep in or catch the early deals at the supermarket - leaving Liam’s favourite booth by the jukebox free every time when he strolls in. He studiously avoids the counter, not checking to see if Zayn is working today even though he knows he works every Sunday morning, and slides into the red and white booth. He pulls out the bundle of comics from his messenger bag and slaps them onto the table.

Leigh-Anne sidles up to the table a few seconds after he’s turned the comic book to the first page and asks him what he wants to order. Liam looks up at her, taking in her light brown skin under the fluorescent lighting and the brightness of her red bandana keeping her curls at bay, and smiles brightly.

“How’ve you been, Leigh-Anne? Haven’t spoken in a while.”

“I’m real good, Li. Mama’s still on me about that singing thing I did - the one in the greaser bar by the pier - but you should’ve _seen_ the crowd cheer!”

A wide smile illuminates her face as she speaks, one hand on her narrow hips while the other holding the order notebook waves in the air. She’s chewing gum, just as she always is when on shift, and her clothes are as loud as her personality.

Leigh-Anne hasn’t changed a bit since Jade brought her to the Payne family barbeque in the summer of ‘54. They were just about to start high school in a few months and Jade told Liam that she wanted to make some new friends, or more specifically, some female friends - to which Louis just scoffed and asked, “What do they have that we don’t?”. And so Leigh-Anne joined their little trio, bringing along rude jokes and great hair alongside a giant personality that rivalled even Louis’.

“What can I getcha, sporto?” Leigh-Anne asks again, popping her gum with a sly grin because she knows Liam hates that nickname.

“Just the usual milkshake, thanks _doll_.” He replies, knowing she hates _that_ nickname.

“Coming right up.” She taps her pen to the notepad before walking away, throwing over her shoulder, “But I might just spit in it for that comment, _sporto_.”

Chuckling, Liam slips off his letter jacket and resumes reading the new issue of The Flash that’s laid out in front of him. It feels like no time has past - having not finished the comic book just yet - when a tall glass of strawberry pink milkshake is sliding in front of him. Looking up to thank Leigh-Anne, Liam opens his mouth to speak, only to snap it shut when he sees Zayn standing beside the table instead.

“How’re you still reading the Flash after the National rebooted the series?” is the first thing out of Zayn’s mouth as he slides into the booth across from Liam, dropping his hands on the table in front of him.

“What do you know about The Flash?” Liam asks with a curious smile as he leans over the table to look at the novel in Zayn’s hands. “You’re reading something called Dead Man’s Folly, which really sounds like a blast.”

“Is that sarcasm I’m picking up on, sporto?” A smirk slips onto Zayn’s face and Liam ducks his head, blushing. “And, for your information Agatha Christie is a blast - her mysteries are real cool.”

“If you say so.” Liam replies, glad he hasn’t swallowed his tongue just yet. He pulls the milkshake towards himself and pops the straw in his mouth, taking a deep pull as he flips to the next page of the comic. He can feel Zayn’s eyes on him but when he looks over, the other boy is nose-deep in his novel.

Liam isn’t going to question why, once again, Zayn is giving up his free time to spend it with Liam but he does keep peaking looks over his milkshake in wonder.

Zayn’s hair is styled in a jelly roll, the curl at the front falling onto his forehead and making his cheekbones look sharper than they already are. He’s biting his lip as he gets more and more engrossed in the book, eyes widening slightly at certain parts making Liam giggle into his hand and look away.

Before he can second-guess himself, Liam pops another straw into the milkshake and slides it across the table until it hits the back of Zayn’s fingers. Liam watches as the boy’s face goes from confusion to acceptance as he takes a sip of the milkshake and pushes it into the center of the table between them.

“Thanks.” He nods.

“No problem.” Liam replies.

“How’s The Flash coming along?” Zayn asks, setting down his book and reaching across to snatch up the comic book, golden eyes perusing the pages as he flips through it.

“It’s cool, man. I mean, it’s only the first issue since the reboot but I dig it.” Liam answers awkwardly, fingers pulling at the fabric of his long-sleeved shirt underneath the table.

“That’s cool.” Zayn hums, spinning the comic around to face Liam as he points to the page. “I like the drawings here. Infantino’s boss.”

Liam nods in response as he watches Zayn take a pull from the milkshake before sliding it over to Liam, closing the comic book and handing that over too. He can’t really comprehend why Zayn is still sitting across from him, let alone that Zayn is discussing comic books with him. Zayn Malik and _comic books_ , who would’ve thought?

“Have you seen that Batwoman series in Detective Comics? It was crazy, man.” He interrupts Liam’s thoughts, biting through a smile.

And that’s how it went for a majority of Liam’s morning, even after Zayn went back to work and Liam finished his milkshake. Zayn would talk penciling techniques while asking Liam about plot development and Liam would stare in awe every time Zayn came back. By the time Liam needed to leave - his dad needing help cleaning up the garage - a warm feeling had settled in his chest, growing bigger when Zayn smiled goodbye, telling him they’d talk soon.

As Liam ducks into the driver’s seat of his dad’s black ‘52 Chevy pickup, he couldn’t stop wondering when ‘soon’ would be and why his stomach flutter at the thought of seeing Zayn again.

\--

Apparently, Liam didn’t have to wait all that long after all, bumping into him later that day on his way down to the comic book store. Zayn and his friends, crowded around a souped up Buick with grease in their hair and smoke in their lungs, are laughing at something Jesy said, her hands clenched into fists as she mimics a punch.

Jesy Nelson, Liam’s been told, is the toughest chick in town. Her leather jacket twists with her torso as she moves, the long,white pencil skirt pulling against her thighs in a way that should catch his attention.

Instead, Liam finds himself scanning the lot for a familiar head of raven hair, greased up and styled over a set of golden eyes. His eyes fall over the crowd of people - the Riach brothers, Danny and Ant, known for their wild parties and Perrie Edwards, whose dad used to work with Liam’s until after the war - before he stops, his breath catching in his throat.

He sees him then, leaning against the passenger door taking a drag from the Lucky Strikes cigarette between his lips. Before he’s spotted, Liam ducks his head down and continues down the sidewalk toward Charlie’s shop where the new editions await him. He doesn’t get two steps past the group before his name being called out and Zayn is crossing the street and jogging over to where he stands.

“Hey.” Zayn says when he finally stops a couple inches in front of Liam, dropping the cigarette to the ground and stubbing it out with his foot.

“Hi.” He chokes out.

Liam can feel the tips of his ears heating up, knowing Zayn’s friends are watching them with interest and wondering why Zayn would be talking to him. He pushes his fists into the pockets of his jeans and smiles nervously, gaze dropping to the cracks in the sidewalk instead of Zayn’s eyes.

“All finished with your dad, then?” He asks.

Liam nods without looking up, wanting nothing more than to exit this conversation with as little embarrassment as possible. Zayn may be all smiles and polite conversation when it’s just them under the early morning sun but here, with the sharp eyes of his pals burning on his back, Liam isn’t sure how this will go. He hears Zayn clear his throat and kick out at something on the pavement, his body not staying still as he continues to stand in front of Liam.

He rubs at the back of his neck before looking up at Zayn, meeting his curious gaze. He sees Zayn open his mouth to speak but interrupts before he can.

“You should get back to your friends.” He blurts out. “They look like they’re missing you.”

Zayn looks over at his shoulder to glance at his friends - who’re nudging Danny into Jesy with crowing sounds and not paying them any mind - before looking back at Liam, who notices his smile dropping into a straight line.

“Okay. Yeah, guess I should.” Zayn mumbles, sliding his hands into his pockets.

Liam nods, trying not to let his disappointment show but knowing Zayn doesn’t want to spend all day talking to him when he could be hanging out with his cool greaser buddies. Liam wouldn’t want to hang out with himself, given the choice.

This morning Zayn only stuck around him because he was bored at work and Liam - in his nerdy excitement over comic books and milkshakes - was a great source of entertainment. But now, there is no need to keep up the pretence that he actually wants to talk to Liam just because he happened to walk by. He waits patiently for Zayn to turn back around and saunter over to his friends but instead Zayn stays rooted on the spot.

“Or I could go with you?” comes next, and Liam has to repeat it in his mind a couple times to fully register that Zayn had said it.

“What?” Liam asks, still confused.

“Or,” Zayn steps closer to Liam, his back towards his friends and his golden eyes on Liam. “I could go wherever you’re headed.”

“I - uh - okay?”

“Cool.” Zayn smirks.

Just then, as Liam smiles shyly at Zayn and Zayn smirks devilishly back, his friends walk up with a loud roar and the smell of leather and cigarettes. The sun shines off the grease lathered on their hair, their jeans rolled up at the ankles, and their converse and boots clunking against the pavement as they move closer and closer.

“Zee, we’re hitting up Dale’s for a little pool, you comin’?” Danny asks, clapping a hand onto Zayn’s shoulder from beside him.

“Nah,” Zayn replies, eyes still on Liam but his head tilted toward Danny. “Go on ahead.”

“You got it, daddy-o.”

The gang retreats back to the Buick with no more words but a few odd glances over at Liam, who looks terribly out of place in his letter cardigan, Levi’s, and slicked back ‘do, except for Jesy who is sizing Liam up like an offensive lineman ready for a tackle. She props her forearm on Zayn’s shoulder, using him to hold herself up as she stares at Liam with narrowed eyes.

“Didn’t know you hung out with bulls, Z?” Jesy calls out, a cat-like grin on her lips as she looks Liam over. “I bet you’ve got yourself some cute, paper shaker chick, eh sporto?”

“Me?” Liam asks, overwhelmed by all that Jesy Nelson is. “No - no, no. Not me. I - I don’t have any girl.”

Liam looks over at Zayn with wide eyes and Zayn must think his apprehension is from Jesy’s aggressive nature - and not the fact that he doesn’t want Zayn to think he’s going steady with any girl - because he steps between them, his back to Liam.

“Ease back, Jes.” Zayn intervenes, his hands on Jesy’s leather-clad shoulders. “Before you scare him away.”

The two share a look, Jesy’s turning more gleeful than predatory when Zayn’s face tells her _something_ while Liam stands behind him totally clueless. He sees Zayn incline his head towards Jesy and whisper something to her in an intimate way, making Liam avert his gaze and rub at the back of his neck. A few seconds later, Jesy’s on her way - “Bye, sporto. Don’t have too much fun now.” - and Zayn is looking at Liam again.

“Shall we?” Zayn says, pointing down to the street where Charlie’s shop is. “You’re going to get the new Flash right?”

Liam nods, unable to do much else as he falls along side Zayn while they make their way down the sidewalk. Zayn grins - and wow, Liam needs a minute here - and his eyes crinkle on the side, teeth bright against the light brown hue of his skin.

“Great, ‘cause I wanted to show you that Batwoman edition I was telling you about.”

\--

_Ev'ry time that you're near_  
_All my cares disappear_  
_Darling, you're all that I'm living for_  
_I want you, I need you, I love you_

With the weekend waning and her homework finished in a neat pile in the desk by her bed, Jade allowed herself the extra time to meet up with Niall at the soda shop Sunday afternoon for a quick chat and some food. Wrapping her coat tighter around her and walking through the doors of the diner, bells jingling above her, Jade looks around for the bright blonde of Niall’s head.

Shaking her head and wondering why she’s not surprised, she walks over to the booth by the jukebox and gracefully slides into the seat across from Niall, tucking her skirt beneath her properly. The blonde startles a bit when she does before letting out a bark of a laugh and saying hello.

Niall’s laugh always ignites a giggle from Jade even in her darkest of moods, the large smile on Niall’s face ever-present and bright.

“Afternoon, doll.” Niall says, leaning forward, his sternum resting against his folded hands.

“Doll?” Jade replies, eyebrow arched and smile gone.

Niall laughs and tosses the paper wrapper of his straw at her before throwing an arm around the back of the seat. Jade watches as he mouths along to the Peggy Lee song omitting from the jukebox behind her, his blue eyes sparkling as he peruses the menu.

“You’re a big tickle.” She replies sarcastically, lips slightly tilted upwards as she kicks at his feet under the table.

Leigh-Anne steps up to the table just then, a bubble blowing out from her lips before popping gracefully against her lips. She’s wearing a pale yellow dress with an apple collar and starched short sleeves, the skirt flaring out at her hips and falling to mid-calf. A white apron is tied around her waist and her hair is tied into a ponytail, the curls of her bangs framing her dark eyes. Jade watches Niall as he smiles at her and makes polite conversation, her eyes never leaving his face even as Leigh-Anne asks her what she wants.

“Jay?” Niall prods, foot gently nudging her ankle and making her jump.

She blinks, swiping at her fringe and looking up at Leigh-Anne who winks cheekily at her before tapping the top of the menu in Jade’s hands.

“I think I’ll just have a strawberry milkshake, a Coca-Cola, and a burger and fries, please.” Jade lists off, looking down at the menu, seeing if she wants anything else. When she looks back up two sets of eyes are staring at her amusedly, Niall letting out an impressive laugh.

“Just that, then?” Leigh-Anne asks, taking the menu and smirking at her. Jade - unladylike and rude, two things her mother taught her not to be like - sticks out her tongue at her friend. Her and Leigh-Anne lived down the street from each other, their mothers being close friends since the two were in diapers and they’ve been inseparable ever since. Leigh-Anne turns to Niall, then, and asks for his order, hip leaning against the table side. 

His grin is still plastered on his face and he nods over at Jade, “I’ll have what she’s having.”

Leigh-Anne walks away, laughing as she does when Niall says how Jade could eat _him_ if it came down to it, and leaving the two to themselves. Their milkshakes arrive quickly, straws sticking out and bent towards them and condensation already dripping down the side of the glass. Niall swipes his first, gulping down about half before Jade even wraps her hand around the glass. She laughs, a tinkling sound in the almost empty diner, watching as a couple of drops of pink milkshake drip down his chin onto his white tee.

“You’re a hazard, Horan.” She says, tossing a napkin at him.

“But you love it!” He replies - jokingly, Jade insists - with a wiggle to his eyebrows.

Their food comes shortly after they finish up their milkshakes - Jade sipping hers slowly while Niall chugs it down until he’s burping loudly, an apology on his lips as fast as the blush on his cheeks. The burgers smell amazing and they eat immediately - their massive appetite being one of the many things they have in common - and talk about the fate of their school’s football team and the newest record Louis’ been flashing at the store.

The afternoon passes in good conversation, their lunch long gone and coca-colas drained. Her stomach feels sore from laughing, Niall being the one to make her laugh no matter what, and Jade doesn’t want to leave. But the clock by the counter says it’s nearing 4 o’clock and her mother will want her home in time for dinner, so she tells Niall as much.

“Before we go, can I ask you something?” Niall says, biting down on his bottom lip.

“Sure.”

He stays silent for a moment, as if trying to choose his words carefully, before running his hands through his hair and sighing. Straightening up and steeling his gaze, he finally looks Jade in the eyes and blurts it out.

“Did you - maybe - ” Niall ducks his head but Jade can see the spots of pink appearing on his cheeks. “I don’t know, wanna go to the sock hop with me?”

He snaps his head back up, waiting for an answer with a timid smile on his lips. Jade smiles softly back and slides a hand across the table, avoiding the dishes and glasses, to clasp Niall’s hand in hers. His blue eyes widen at the touch, his fingers slowly gripping onto hers with a hesitance that Jade finds endearing. She looks at Niall before dropping her gaze to the table, wondering how to answer Niall.

She’s wanted Niall to ask her to the dance since the banner went up and the announcements were all over school, but days went by and nothing had come and so Jade resigned herself to think he wasn’t ever going to ask her. And now, this sweet boy is sitting in front of her has done just that. Jade looks at this boy in earnest, wanting to say yes, but knowing she can’t.

“I would love to but I - I’m actually already going with Liam?” She says, almost as a question.

“Oh.”

“But just as friends!” She blurts out, hands coming up in front of her as if to swat away any miscommunication.

“We’re not like going steady or anything. I promise.”

Niall’s grin returns. “You’re not?”

“No.”

“Good.” He looks down at the table, running his thumb along the edge. “That’s really good.”

“I’m free Saturday, though.” She puts out there, smiling when Niall’s head whips up and grins again. “We could go see that new scary film film at the pier?”

\--

“Li, what’s the point in studying when you and I both know I’m gonna be shot down the minute I sit to take the test?”

Louis is lying on Liam’s bed, head hanging off the end as he stares at Liam upside down, his frowning face looking ridiculous. Liam laughs and turns back around in his desk chair, the wood stiff under his body and making his back ache prompting him to stand up and stretch, leaving his textbooks open on his desk. 

Liam looks down at Louis with a smile. “You’ll be fine. You always are.”

Louis lets out a huff and twists himself into a sitting position, his legs crossed and eyes sharp. Liam can feel him watching him as he walks around the room, distracting himself with the stack of comic books on his bookshelf instead of meeting Louis’ gaze. 

“So,” Louis starts, his voice cutting through the awkward silence. “I was talking to Leigh-Anne the other day, she says you and that Malik kid are getting chummy.”

“We’re not chummy.” Liam replies, brows furrowed and mind whirling as he tries to dig himself out of the trap Louis has set. He should have known Louis’ study session proposition was actually an ambush.

“We just talk sometimes, is all.”

“About what?”

“Hmm?” Liam continues to face his bookshelf, knowing that once he faces Louis, he’ll know.

“What could you two possibly talk about?” Louis reiterates. “You’re practically from different planets!”

Liam frowns, knowing that Louis is right and he and Zayn are from vastly different social circles, that his friends probably think it’s just as odd as Louis does. Except, it’s not odd. Because Zayn likes comic books and he asks Liam about his games even though Liam knows he doesn’t actually give a shit about football and he talks to Liam about what books he’s reading and if he watched last night’s Ed Sullivan performance. Zayn may dress like a greaser and act like a greaser in front of his friends but when he talks to Liam, he’s just _Zayn_. 

“I dunno.” Liam says instead, shrugging and turning to face Louis who’s sitting in the middle of Liam’s bed looking as confused as he did studying. Louis continues to look at him, as if waiting for an actual answer and it makes Liam’s skin itch and his temper flare.

“I don’t know, Louis!” He yells. “I don’t know what you want me to say? That yes, it’s weird that someone way cooler wants to talk to me? That Zayn must be out of his mind to stick around a square like me all day? Trust me, I’ve thought it all and I don’t get it either.”

Liam’s rant ends with him panting, chest heaving a little as his anger dissipates and all that’s left is Louis’ look of pity and Liam’s wounded pride.

The room is silent for quite some time after Liam’s outburst and he comes to sit next to Louis on the bed, tapping the other boy’s shoulder with his in a reassurance that he’s not angry. The other boy nudges back with a smile and says, “I’m sorry.”

“For?” 

“It’s not that surprising, him hanging out with you.” Louis explains. “You’re pretty great to be around, Leemo.”

Liam leans back, smile so wide that it makes his eyes squint into slits. “Wow, an actual apology from Louis Tomlinson, who would’ve thought.”

“I’ll take it back if you start with the sarcasm shit, though.” He cracks out, nudging Liam harder and mumbling something along the lines of “Damn, Malik, corrupting my Liam.”

They sit together, close on Liam’s bed in the silence and Liam feels a warmth in his chest and a determination thrum through his veins. 

He should tell Louis. Not that he truly understand it himself but maybe Louis can help him? Maybe Louis won’t find these feelings Liam’s been having all that odd? 

“Lou, do you ever - ” Liam cuts himself off, not really sure how to say what he wants to say or how Louis will react. All he knows is that Zayn is all he thinks about these days and he should be able to tell his best friend about it. 

“What is it?” Louis asks with a small smile, nudging Liam’s side before leaning back onto his hands. “Spit it out, Li.”

“Do you ever have feelings for - ” And he stops again, his heart beating erratically as his vision gets blurry and his hands start to shake.

Maybe he can’t do this. He hears Louis ask him what’s wrong but Liam can’t bring himself to answer, knowing that if he opens his mouth only a sob will come out. 

Louis asks again and Liam closes his eyes at Louis’ soft tone and wills himself to stop acting like a baby. He clenches his hands into fists on the tops of his thighs and opens his mouth to speak, only to stop once more.

“I - I can’t tell you.” Liam whispers, his hands coming up to press against the lids of his eyes. “You’ll hate me.”

Louis’ small hand comes to rest tentatively on Liam’s arm, tugging gently to get him to drop it. Liam looks down at his hands, refusing to think about how Louis probably wouldn’t be touching him if he knew the truth. Knew what Liam is.

“Liam, look at me.”

Liam continues to stare at his hands.

“I said look at me.”

Something in his tone makes Liam slowly raise his head, cheeks flooding with shame as he meets Louis’ eye and knows that Louis _knows_. He goes to stand, to put some distance between him and Louis, but the hand on his forearm keeps him sitting. Louis nods at Liam, eyes still locked with his and lips turning into a small smile.

“It’s okay, Li.” He says, fingers pressing hard into Liam’s skin as he repeats those two words. “It’s okay.”

Those two words echo in his ears and stick to his skin, seeping into his blood and making his entire body relax. He lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and tries to smile back at Louis, the relief flooding out of him. It’s okay. 

It’s okay.

\--

“It’s okay,” Liam says with a wave of his hand. “It’s wonderful, actually.”

Liam looks over at Zayn with a reassuring smile before turning back and looking out at the lake beneath them. The bridge is thick and sturdy beneath his converse trainers, leaves scattered on the wood and falling into the murky water. 

When Zayn came by his house, leather jacket replaced with a denim one and a nervous smile on his lips, Liam didn’t know what to think. But when he asked Liam if he wanted to hang out today, Liam really couldn’t find any other word in his vocabulary other than yes. 

“It’s alright. Quiet, ya know?” Zayn replies with a shrug, trying to downplay his adoration for the dreamlike scene spread out in front of him.

Liam’s lived here his whole life and didn’t know this little hideaway was tucked behind the convenience store between a mass of trees and foliage. Turning back to Zayn, Liam smiles again before making his way over to the other boy.

“So, what now?” Liam asks.

“Now, we sit.”

With that, Zayn smoothly folds his body down to sit along the wooden planes of the bridge, patting the spot in front of him as he crosses his legs. Smile widening, Liam joins him and drops his backpack beside him as he looks over at Zayn. 

Liam unzips his bag and pulls out the stack of new comic books and placing them in his lap as Zayn takes out another novel and cracks the spine, a small smile going over his face as he flicks his eyes up to meet Liam’s. Liam smiles back shyly, his cheeks heating up before he can duck his head and his hand goes up to cover his face as he pretends to read the new Flash comic in his lap while willing the blush to go down.

Ever since he ‘told’ Louis about...about that...stuff, Liam hasn’t been able to look at Zayn without blushing. He’s hoping Zayn hasn’t noticed but the shine of his golden eyes tells Liam otherwise, which only makes his cheeks heat up more.

The pair spend the rest of the morning by the lake, shifting from sitting positions to lying on their backs to swinging their legs over the side of the bridge, reading out the best lines from whatever they’re reading at the time. 

Liam tells Zayn stories about Louis and Niall and Jade - about that time Niall lost a bet with Louis over the summer and had to dye his hair blonde for the entire year or that time Jade fell off the stage at the last town singing competition - and Zayn tells Liam stories about Jesy and her obsession with her Buick or that time Danny tried it on with Perrie and she kneed him in the crotch.

They’re content together, Zayn and Liam, and it brings a wide smile to Liam’s face as he thinks about it, his back flat against the wood and his gaze up toward the cloudy sky. 

“Why’d you bring me here?” He asks a little while later, turning his head to look at Zayn who’s lying in the exact same position as him.

Zayn shrugs and looks over at Liam. “I thought you might like it.”

“Do you hang out here a lot?” Liam asks, twisting his torso a little to face Zayn. “Like with your friends and that?”

“No,” He replies and looks away, not meeting Liam’s eye until he says, “I’ve never brought anyone here before.”

“Oh.”

Liam is ready to burst out of his skin, the joy nearly escaping his lips in a laugh but he holds it in, his mind reeling over the fact that Zayn hasn’t brought anyone to his favourite spot. Except Liam. 

“Thanks.” Liam finally says, still looking over at Zayn with a smile. “For bringing me here. It’s ace.”

“You’re welcome, Liam.”

Liam’s stomach flutters at the sound of his name from Zayn’s lips, watching the boy’s teeth sink into his bottom lip as he turns away from him, and Liam thinks he could spend every day just lying by the lake with Zayn.

And that might just be the most terrifying thing Liam’s ever thought. 

\--

_And I don't care if you don't want me,_  
_I'm yours right now._

The Bop is bright and busy, as it always is after the high school lets out, and Louis is fluttering around the tiny shop. Slipping down between the rows of records and teenagers huddled together with 45s in their hands, he catches Harry’s eye by the register and makes his way over. He waves a hand over at Niall - the blonde barely paying attention as some guy talks his ear off about the latest game - for him to man the shop while he takes a break.

The curly-haired boy is sitting behind the counter with his school books spread out in front of him and a novel tucked between his long fingers. He smiles over at Louis as he walks closer and stops swinging his legs back and forth. 

“Do you like this one?” Louis asks once he’s in front of Harry.

For the past hour, Louis has been playing rockabilly record after rockabilly record in order to inspire some sort of passionate response from Harry but only receiving bored eyes and a “Can we play the new Chordettes song? They’re ace.”

Harry shrugs and goes back to reading, green eyes scanning the page quickly before looking back up at Louis with a quick smile. 

“It’s nice.” He says quietly, in a way that reminds Louis of his younger sisters when they don’t want to get in trouble. 

“Nice?” Louis almost shrieks. “It’s Sonny West, for Christ’s sake!”

Harry shrugs again and returns to his book with a smile as Louis stares at him in bewilderment. This boy is something else. With his freshly ironed beige slacks and a red button up shirt with a grey cardigan with red stripes thrown on top, Louis would usually find kids like Harry boring and square, never giving them a second thought. But Harry Styles, with his dimpled grin and naive opinion on rockabilly music, has Louis intrigued and very confused.

“He’s nice.” Harry says again before wrapping a hand around Louis’ forearm and pulling him over to his side.

“Lemme read you this quote.” He says, voice deep as he stares down at the pages in front of him.

“What’re you reading anyways?” Louis snatches the book from Harry’s large hands, reading the title, “The Catcher in the Rye?”

“Yeah, a friend lent it to me.”

“Sounds boring.”

“It’s not,” Harry insists, reaching out a hand to get the book back. “I’ll show you.”

Louis crosses his arms over his chest and leans his hip against the counter, turning his lidded gaze at Harry in order to portray his lack of enthusiasm. He’s obviously doing a great job when Harry glares at him, lips falling into a pout. 

“I listened to seven tracks today in your attempt to educate me in the ways of your kind,” He starts, eyes narrowing and sarcasm tinging the ends of his words. “The least you can do is pretend to listen to me.”

His eyes shine under the light, a glint of mischievousness among the emerald and Louis laughs, nodding at Harry. Once again, in the short time that Louis’ known him, Harry has managed to surprise him. Who knew the kid had it in him, telling Louis off like that? The only people who talk to Louis like that are his friends and Harry Styles sure isn’t a friend.

“Alright, Styles. Give it a go.”

Harry smiles beatifically and shifts a little in his seat, flipping through the book till he gets to the right page, eyes flicking up to Louis every few seconds. This time Louis stares at Harry with rapt attention, watching the soft smile that flicks up on his red lips when he looks up and notices Louis paying attention. Harry lets out a soft ‘aha!’ when he finds the quote he was looking for before straightening up and clearing his throat. 

“The best thing, though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was…The only thing that would be different would be you.” He recites, green eyes darting up from the page to gauge Louis’ reaction.

Biting on his bottom lip, Louis tries not to let out a mean comment - though he wonders why since he thrives on making others feel uncomfortable - and ends up screwing his face up into a look that must convey his confusion because Harry goes on to say, “It’s about you, Lou.”

“Me?” He chokes out, the nickname sticking to the inside of his mouth like cotton candy as he stares back at Harry with widened eyes and an itchy feeling in his chest.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Well, when I was reading it, I thought of you.” Harry clarifies and Louis notices his cheeks turning red, wondering what Harry is thinking.

Behind him, a customer asks about the newest records and Louis waves a hand over by the door, never taking his eyes off Harry. He waits for the boy to continue, licking his lips and running a hand over his greased up hair in an attempt to quench his nervousness. Harry leans forward in his seat, closer to Louis as he brings his hands together before waving them in the air as he talks, his voice slow and engaging as he decides on every word that comes out of his mouth.

“See, this town is like the museum in the story - not moving, not changing, everything always the same with the football games and the pep rallies and the sock hops - but you, you’re the thing that’s different. You don’t fit, ya know? In the cliques at school, in the ways these people want, you’re just different.”

“Different.” Louis repeats, breath caught in his throat because - has Harry figured it out? Has he seen what Louis’ tried so hard to conceal, from his family and his friends? 

“Yeah, different, in the most important ways.” Harry breathes out, eyes bright, oblivious to Louis’ internal panic. “In the ways that matter.”

And it’s the genuine tone and honest eyes that make Louis take a deep breath, oxygen coming easier as Harry smiles at him. He feels a hand on his arm once more and It’s Harry’s touch that brings Louis back, that reminds him where they are and makes Louis step back. He blinks hard, running a hand over the sides of his hair again and plastering a smile on his face.

“All right, Doris Day. Lemme show you a crazy record a friend sent me.” Louis says, waving Harry over to the listening booth. “You’ll like this one.”

He nudges Harry into one of the booths and tells him to sit down on the stool as he slides the 45 out of the jacket and places it on the player, dropping the needle when he sees that Harry’s ready. Before the music starts, Louis says, “It’s not rockabilly, but it’s ace. A real tune.”

 _“I put a spell on you…”_ screams out through the speakers as the beat bounces along the soundproof walls. 

Louis grins at Harry when he starts to bob his head to Screamin’ Jay Hawkins and nudges his arm in a manner that says, ‘See, I told you I was right.’ The song plays on as the two boys sit in the booth, the people in the store milling about, chatting about new records or asking Niall about them, who excitedly chats back. Louis watches everyone walk by the booth, not paying them any mind and he thinks about the quote from Harry’s book and wonders if he’s right. 

Louis doesn’t think about it too hard because the minute the song peters out and the record stop with a click, Harry mumbles something about having to leave. They exit the booth, much to Louis chagrin, and join the buzzing chatter of the store so that Harry can gather his books and his bags before turning back to Louis and smiling as he makes his way to the door.

“See you later, alligator.” Harry calls out, pausing at the door for Louis’ response and pouting slightly when Louis doesn’t say it right away.

“Not a chance am I saying it, Styles.”

“C’mon, Lou.”

He pouts some more.

“Fine.” Louis huffs, rolling his eyes before making sure no one is close enough to hear him. “In a while, crocodile.”

\--

_As sure as night is dark and day is light_  
_I keep you on my mind both day and night_

It’s Friday night - date night, for some - and the gang rolls up to the drive-in down by the pier in Niall’s dad’s car that he borrowed for the night. Jade is riding up front with Niall while Liam, Louis, and Harry are stuffed into the back seat, crowing about someone’s elbow hitting someone’s kidneys. One by one they had all piled into Niall’s borrowed ‘50 Sedan, all smiles and laughs, even as newcomer Harry Styles joined the group.

“He’s cool, Li. Likes knock knock jokes like you, you’ll get along just fine.” Louis says about Harry when they were picking them up, the tall curly haired boy grinning at him from the other side of the car.

Liam didn’t mind Harry - Louis was right, the kid’s knock knock jokes are hilarious - but he did find it really odd that someone like Harry managed to capture Louis’ attention. Especially after all that crap Louis spewed about ‘different species’ and that over him and Zayn hanging out. But Harry is nice and charming, despite his argyle sweater vests and form-fitting slacks, and Liam can’t help but want to keep him around.

The minute the car turns into a parking spot with a great view of the big screen, Liam hops out of the back seat with a yell of relief. 

“Phew! Thought I was gonna suffocate in there, Niall.” Liam puffs out.

He stretches his arms above his head, looking over at the screen where advertisements are flashing one after another, lighting up the hoods of the rows of cars lining up to watch Invasion of the Body Snatchers. He laughs when he hears Niall cursing him out from the driver’s seat before leaning against the side of the car to stretch out his legs. 

He’d prefer to be at home, nose buried in the latest Agatha Christie novel Zayn had lent him, but when Jade called him, begging him to come along on her date with Niall because her mother insisted upon a chaperone (though apparently, Jade forgot to mention to her mother that it was in fact a date), he immediately gave up those plans. He’s been waiting for Niall to gather the courage up to pin Jade since they met, the two of them mirrors of each other with their sunny smiles and wild hair. 

Not wanting to be the third wheel, Liam invited Louis along who then invited Harry and so it turned into a Whole Big Thing and Jade was kind of upset but she got her date in the end.

“Anyone want any snacks or drinks?” Liam asks, ducking his head back into the car. “On your own dime, of course.”

He hears a collective groan at that, as everyone shoves their hands in the pockets of their trousers to fork over some cash - exempting Jade, of course, since Niall adamantly refused to take her money for the popcorn - and hands it over to Liam, who takes it and slips it into his back pocket. 

He straightens up, turning on the heel of his converse, and walks down the rows of cars towards the snack bar. Hoping to get back to the car before the movie starts, he slips in line only a few people away from the stand and huffs out a breath.

It isn’t until he hears his name mumbled between laughter, that Liam notices Zayn and his friends standing off by the seating area of the drive-in, cigarette smoke clouding above them. 

He can see Jesy looking over at him and studiously looks forward, willing the line to go faster as he overhears her loudly say, “Hey, Zee, your sporto pal is here and looking real good.”

“Shut it, Jesy.” He says back with a short laugh, and Liam wants to turn his head to see the way Zayn’s eyes crinkle and his lips pull back but he doesn’t. 

Finally, he’s at the front of the line and Liam starts to dig out the money from his back pocket when he hears one of them - Danny, Liam thinks - ask Zayn why he’s spending all his time hanging out with such a square. Liam’s whole body freezes and Zayn must notice, everyone must notice, as he replays the soundbite of Zayn’s friends laughing at him in his head. 

“What can I get you?” Says the girl behind the counter, bright smile matching even brighter eyes.

Liam shakes his head a bit, pulling out the change in his back pocket and sliding it on the counter after spewing out the order of food and drinks the gang wanted. He blinks rapidly, trying not to think about it too hard when he’s in such an open space surrounded by strangers. Surrounded by Zayn. And his friends. 

When he gets back to the Sudan, sliding in next to Harry and Louis who are poking each other and giggling, he can still hear the echo of nothing from Zayn after his friend’s comment. 

Liam sits there in a daze as each of his friends snatches a bag of popcorn and drinks from the trays in his lap, unaware of the crushing feeling spreading from Liam’s chest.

\--

About twenty minutes into the movie, the popcorn long gone and the drink cups slid underneath the seats, Liam is ready to go home. Niall and Jade are cuddling in the front seat, while Louis and Harry are whispering about something that requires bowed heads and completely ignoring Liam. 

With a quick word to Jade that he’s stepping out, Liam gets out of the car and takes a deep breath, hanging his head and wishing he had just stayed home tonight. Walking along the rows of cars, he doesn’t really know where he’s going, if there even is anywhere to go that isn’t full of him. All he knows is that he doesn’t want to be back in that car.

Liam wraps his letter jacket around himself as the cool night air hits the back of his neck before he finds a cluster of picnic benches near the back of the drive-in. Sitting at the farthest one, making sure no one can see him under the shadows of the trees, Liam lies back on the bench and drapes an arm over his face giving in to the self-pity he tried covering up in the car.

Square.

Sporto.

Liam knows they’re just words and he’s heard them all before, his whole life even, and he’s learned to ignore it. But he usually has his friends’ support, their kind words and reassurances, and this time he didn’t. 

He thought Zayn and him were friends (at the very least) and that Zayn would say something, but he didn’t and he won’t, leaving Liam to contemplate just what Zayn had been doing hanging around him the past few weeks. Was it some kind of joke? Did his friends put him up to it? See if he could get the nerdy, pathetic loser to think they were friends?

Now Liam’s moping about instead of having a good time with his friends and watching the movie he waited ages to see. Truly pathetic.

“How come you’re not with your friends?”

Liam springs up into a sitting position on the bench, back straight as his legs fall on either side of the plank of wood, to see Zayn standing a few feet away looking beautiful. Because that’s what he is, Liam’s realized - beautiful - and Liam’s never been good at keeping beautiful things. 

He dips his head down, chin brushing against his clavicles over the cotton of his white t-shirt. He sees Zayn shift closer from the corner of his eye but doesn’t acknowledge it, the silence between them reminding Liam of why he didn’t want to see Zayn in the first place.

“Why aren’t you with yours?” He counters, a sad smile tipping up his lips as his fingers play along the hem of his jeans.

Zayn doesn’t answer and Liam doesn’t look up and they stay there in the space between awkward and upset but no one does anything to fix it. Liam can hear the fake screams from the movie playing off in the distance and he stands up and starts to walk away, thinking he should rejoin the gang, when Zayn makes an aborted noise in the back of his throat.

“Liam.” He finally gets out, his voice sounding so unsure in a way that makes Liam turn around against his better judgement.

“I - I’m sorry.” Zayn breathes out, hands falling by his sides pathetically.

“For what?” Liam replies, voice hard - the harshness startling even him.

“For what happened back there.” He nods back in the general direction of the snack bar. “I should’ve said something.”

“But you didn’t.” For the first time that night, Liam looks Zayn in the eye and he sees the subtle flinch in his features as he speaks. 

“I know.”

“Why not?”

Liam watches him; watches as his eyes drift down away from Liam’s hard stare and how he’s biting hard on his bottom lip before his eyes go wide and bore into Liam’s once more. He doesn’t know what to do with this beautiful boy except watch and wait for Zayn to make the first move. But he doesn’t. Once again, Zayn takes to staying quiet and Liam can’t stand it, letting out an annoyed sigh before rubbing a hand over his face. 

“I’m sorry,” Zayn says once again, not answering the question.

His heavy boots clunk against the ground as he takes step after step forward until he’s right in front of Liam, breathing the same air and watching him closely. Those golden eyes are darkened by the moonlight and Liam swear they can see right through him. Through his anger, through his hurt, and Liam can’t stand to look at them any longer.

Liam ducks his head to avoid his gaze, not really ready to hear Zayn say that he doesn’t want to be seen with him, that Liam’s too square to be paraded by his side. 

Only before he could dip his head, a brush of fingertips slide under his jaw and stop him. With a sharp intake of breath, Liam realizes the soft fingertips belong to Zayn and that Zayn is touching his skin. 

“Don’t hide,” Zayn whispers as if talking too loud will ruin this, whatever this is. 

His eyes flick to Zayn’s, trying to read his expression and coming up blank. Zayn’s fingers continue to rest underneath his chin and Liam swears he can feel Zayn slowly stroking the pad of his thumb along the side of his jaw but passes it off as his imagination until he does it again and again and Liam has the touch burned into his memory. 

In a flash, their serenity is broken when a loud laugh comes from the snack bar causing Zayn to wretch his hand back, jumping away from him with wide eyes. He stares at Zayn who keeps glancing around them, hands sliding into his pockets immediately and hunching in on himself. Liam squeezes his eyes shut, fists clenched at his sides because he thought, he _thought_ \- 

“Liam, I - ”

“Please, don’t.” Liam croaks out, trying not to cry in front of this beautiful boy.

“Leave,” Liam continues slowly, flexing his fingers against the denim of his jeans. He opens his eyes and stares hard at Zayn. “Please go.”

“No.” Zayn replies, golden eyes dark under the shadows of the trees. “I - I want to apologize.”

“You already did.”

“For everything after as well.” He clarifies softly, lips barely brushing apart as he speaks.

“Everything?” Liam gasps out, mind whirling - thinking back on Zayn’s touch and how a second ago he didn’t feel quite so cold. 

“No, not everything.” Zayn replies.

Then, before Liam can process Zayn’s words, Zayn is stepping up right in front of him and sliding both hands over his jaw and pressing his forehead against Liam’s. “Just for making you feel like I don’t want this.”

Liam wants to ask him what _this_ is, wants to ask Zayn to kiss him, wants so much but he doesn’t know how to go about getting it. Instead, as a cool breeze glides over their joined bodies, Liam reaches up and grips onto Zayn’s forearms just as tightly as Zayn is gripping onto him and lets out a slow breath.

“Okay.” He says, watching as a wide smile breaks out on Zayn’s lips before sliding his eyes shut and enjoying the feel of him as it surrounds him. 

\--

_In the still of the night_  
_I held you, held you tight_  
_'Cause I love, love you so_  
_Promise I'll never let you go_

Jade shifts against the leather seats, moving closer to Niall’s side and trying to get him to put his arm around her but to no avail. She tried saying she was cold but that only prompted Niall to give her his cardigan instead, smiling widely at her before staring back at the screen. 

He is so content to just sit there with her, watching the movie, and Jade isn’t sure how to go about asking him to kiss her. He’s all timid touches, brushing his shoulder against hers and whispering funny comments in her ear, and it makes her heart swell. 

“Niall,” she says a little bit later with patience in her heart and a soft smile on her lips. “Can you wrap your arm around me?”

His eyes widen almost comically and Jade has to cover her mouth to stop the giggles as Niall looks over at her. He slowly moves his arm, fingers tickling the nape of her neck before resting on her shoulder and pulling her into his side. 

“Is this okay?” He whispers into the dark, pale skin illuminated by the bright screen of the movie.

Jade nods and smiles brightly at him before snuggling into his chest and slipping a hand underneath his jacket and over the planes of back, the cotton of his t-shirt soft against her fingers. She feels Niall’s breath hitch - his hands stuttering over the skin of her arm - as she grips his waist and burrows further into his chest. She can feel his stare on her, those blue eyes furrowed curiously, but she doesn’t look away from the screen. 

Briefly she wonders where Liam’s gone off to, worry etching the back of her mind before pushing it away and focusing on the moment. When her mother told her she had to bring a chaperone to the drive-in, she couldn’t believe it. She hadn’t even told her it was a _date_ for Christ’s sake! Who knows what she’d do then. Years of studying and hard work and good manners, all so that she could show her mother that she is responsible and smart, and she makes her take _Liam_ as her watcher. She remembers crying about it and calling Niall, without her mother’s knowledge of course, who just mumbled into the phone that he’d take a hundred chaperones if it meant he’d get to go out with her.

She smiles at the memory and shifts against Niall, only to notice how stiff his posture is. She leans back a little, wanting to see his face but not wanting to leave his arms. Niall is staring straight ahead, jaw set and eyes hard, his other hand clenched on his thigh. 

“Are you okay?” She asks, sitting up fully and glances over her shoulder to make sure Louis and Harry aren’t paying attention - they aren’t - before looking back at Niall.

He jerks his head down to look at her, a too-bright smile on his face as he nods and says, “‘Course, why wouldn’t I be?”

“No reason.”

And he goes back to the movie without another word, body just as tense as before, his hand no longer stroking her skin but clamped on her shoulder respectfully. Jade rolls her eyes, completely ripping herself from his hold and narrowing her eyes. She really thought Niall would be different from the other boys. She thought he actually understood her, knew who she was and what she was like.

“Was I too forward?” Jade asks abruptly, anger bubbling to the surface as she bites down on her lip slightly, watching those blue eyes flick back and forth. “Should I have waited for the big manly man to make the first move?”

He doesn’t answer and it makes her even more annoyed, slipping his cardigan off her shoulders and tossing it back at him. Crossing her arms and staring at the screen ahead, she hopes Harry and Louis can’t hear her or else this could get _really_ embarrassing. 

“Jay, no - I - ” He stutters out, fingers clenching into the fabric of the cardigan, as he slides over the seat a little to get close again. “That’s not it at _all_.”

“You know I love that about you,” he continues, breath warm against her cheek as she refuses to make eye contact. 

“Then what is it?” She whispers as he slides his fingers over her forearm to untuck her arms and intertwine their fingers together. 

He huffs out a laugh and from the corner of her eye she can see him shaking his head. Curious, she turns her face slightly before making eye contact and raising an eyebrow. Niall doesn’t look away, instead squeezing her hand and tipping his lips into a smile. 

“I - uh - gosh, this is gonna sound so uncool.” Niall starts, cheeks turning pink under the light of the screen. His other hand comes up to scratch at his cheek as he continues, “But I was kinda hoping we could go slow?”

Jade blinks slowly, her lips parting slightly as she stares at the boy beside her. This sweet, caring, wonderful boy who is all about fast cars and rude jokes, burping up strawberry milkshakes, and dying his hair shocking colours. This boy who wants to take it _slow_. 

Instead of replying, Jade brings their intertwined hands up to her face and pressing her parted lips upon his skin, eyes flicking up to watch his glazed expression. She shoots him a soft smile, lips moving slowly over his hand before moving closer and dipping her head to rest on his shoulder. She feels Niall let out a long breath - as if he’d been holding it in - and bring her into his arms again, tightening his grip.

“Slow...” Jade whispers, feeling Niall smile into her hair and presses closer.

\--

_Lay down your arms (Lay down your arms)_  
_Lay down your arms and surrender to mine_

“Are you going to the sock hop tomorrow night?”

Zayn snorts, eyes squinting and mouth tilting upwards, as he slumps next to Liam on the picnic bench. They’ve been hiding by the outskirts of the drive-in for a while now, the movie almost finding its conclusion on the big screen and a pit of disappointment settles in Liam’s stomach. He leans into Zayn’s warmth without thinking, letter jacket brushing against Zayn’s leather one, and waits for him to answer. 

They haven’t touched again, Zayn staying close to Liam but keeping his hands to himself, usually tucked into his pockets or fiddling with a rolled cigarette. Even now, sitting next to each other they don’t reach for the other, bodies tense like a soldier on watch for enemy forces.

Liam looks over at him, eyebrow raised and watches as Zayn realizes that he’s serious. Zayn clears his throat and shakes his head, looking down as he spreads his legs and drops his hands between them.

“Naw, those things are so sq - ” He cuts himself off, head snapping up to look at Liam with wide eyes. “I mean, they’re okay - cool, even - if you like that sorta thing…”

Liam stares at Zayn, biting his lip to keep from laughing at his worried face - his usual cool, calm demeanor breaking with every word he stutters out - and places a hand on Zayn’s wrist. Ignoring the thrilling buzz under his skin that comes with touching Zayn’s skin, he smiles at the other boy and meets his eyes.

“It’s fine, Zayn.”

“Yeah?” He breathes out, eyes dipping down to stare at where Liam is touching him, brow furrowed and mouth slightly open. Panicking, Liam starts to take his hand away but Zayn grabs Liam’s hand and keeps it locked in his grip before he can tuck it into his pocket. 

Zayn flashes a small smile at him, rearranging their hands so he can slide his long fingers in between Liam’s, and shuffles closer to him on the bench lining up their bodies. He squeezes Zayn’s hand and dips his head, smiling widely and not wanting him to see. 

“Why?” Zayn murmurs, making Liam look back up.

Liam shrugs, eyes trailing over Zayn’s face as he speaks, “Thought it’d be fun...if you were there.”

He holds his breath while he waits for Zayn’s response - still so unsure of what he’s thinking even as the other boy brushes his other hand over the top of Liam’s hand - and continues to watch his sharp features under the moonlight. They sit in silence for a while, Liam terrified and worried that he said the wrong thing, constantly glancing over at their intertwined hands and wondering why Zayn hasn’t let go yet.

 

“I’ll see what I can do,” Zayn says eventually, biting his lip and looking away from Liam - who swears he could see a hint of pink rising on Zayn’s cheeks - with a smile. All Liam can do is smile in return and squeeze Zayn’s hand once more.

\--

Liam stays sitting in the shadows even after Zayn’s left (“I gotta get back before those jokers come looking for me,”) wanting to process and catalogue every touch and laugh and crinkled smile he got to see tonight as Zayn never left his side.

Lying back against the plank of wood, legs dangling on each side, Liam lets out a huff of laughter as he thinks about _Zayn Malik_ coming to the sock hop _for him_. He thinks about the burn of his skin as he bravely touches Liam in a way that Liam is so scared to initiate but craves so much. 

He thinks about what he told Louis and how getting Zayn to smile at him is more victorious than when the team wins a game and how he craves Zayn’s lips more than strawberry milkshakes and how he wishes that shadows and secret meetings weren’t all that their friendship - _is that what this is?_ \- is comprised of. 

Liam lies there and closes his eyes, thinking about how it all started with a paper route and a smile.

\--

_Oh, hot diggity, dog ziggity, boom what you do to me_  
_It's so new to me, what you do to me_

The car is quiet for most of the movie, Niall and Jade sliding closer and closer from their seats on opposite ends as Louis and Harry huddle together in the back. There’s more room for them to spread out now that Liam has gone who-knows-where (a worrying thought in the back of Louis’ mind) but Harry doesn’t move from Louis’ side, the heat from his body making Louis start to sweat and wonder why the boy isn’t moving away.

They’ve spent the past few days with only each other, Louis teaching Harry more about rockabilly and the new steps he learned off bandstand while Harry recites quotes from old poets and new revolutionaries, his deep voice blending with the passion behind the words and making Louis smile brightly.

It’s in these moments, when Louis finds himself staring at Harry for a second too long or when he tries his hardest to make Harry laugh or like a new song he’s played, that Louis’ mind drifts back to the conversation he had with Liam. He thinks about when Liam said that he liked -- that he felt...

A loud scream breaks Louis out of his thoughts and he narrows his eyes at the screen. Niall and Jade are still avoiding their very presence, and Louis can’t help but look over at Harry, finding him more interesting than the film. 

He’s in his usual attire - argyle sweater vest, black slacks, and crisp white button-up - and sitting primly against the leather seat of the Sedan, saddle shoes rigidly slid together with his hands in his lap. Louis would laugh if he didn’t find it so disconcerting (and since when did he care about other people besides his friends?).

“Are you alright?” He whispers into the dark, not wanting the couple up front to hear them.

Harry turns his head, face so close to Louis’ that he can see the indents in his bottom lip as Harry bites down on it. He nods quickly before turning back to the film, hands folding on his lap and cheeks turning pink. 

“H?” Louis’ voice comes out softer than he’s ever heard it as he touches Harry’s shoulder to grab his attention. He tilts his head in question and Harry turns his body towards him with a nervous smiles.

“I’m ok,” He replies with a little laugh.

“You sure?” Louis asks. “You look like you’re gonna be sick.”

Harry nods and goes to speak, tongue peeking out to wet his lips before he shuts it immediately. He dips his head and mumbles something Louis can’t quite hear.

“What was that?”

“I said,” Harry whispers, raising his head to meet Louis’ gaze and stuttering out, “We should do this again… with just - just us next time.”

Louis’ eyebrows shoot up under his fringe as he takes in Harry’s nervous posture - hands skidding over his thighs and eyes skidding over Louis’ face - as he waits for Louis’ response and there’s a brief moment of panic in Louis’ gut. He’s not sure _why_ he’s freaking out, he and Harry hang out alone all the time, but the way Harry slowly pulled the words out one by one almost seemed like he was asking Louis out on a date.

He blinks slowly, realizing that Harry is expecting an answer and is currently staring at him slightly confused, and nods emphatically. Louis bites down on his lip to hold in a smile and Harry grins beatifically and whispers, “Wonderful.”

Slowly, Harry uncoils from his previously rigid position and slumps against the leather, legs spreading out into a V-shape and shifting a little, moving a couple of inches away from Louis’ side and focusing on the movie once more. Louis pouts slightly at the loss of warmth but perks up immediately when Harry laughs at something on screen.

Minutes pass and the car is silent - with the exception of Niall whispering things into Jade’s ear to make her laugh - and Louis starts to fidget. He doesn’t like sitting still for too long and especially not in complete silence. He looks over at Harry for the fourth time in the last couple of minutes but the other boy doesn’t look away from the screen even once. 

Wondering once again where Liam is and if he should go looking for him, Louis huffs out a breath and starts tapping his fingers against the seat. Tap. Maybe he should move closer. Tap. Maybe he should say something funny. Tap. Maybe he should -

Then, in the still of the dimly lit car with Niall and Jade cuddling in the front seat, Louis feels the soft brush of Harry’s fingertips sliding overtop his and stilling their movement entirely. Louis’ breath hitches in his throat and he doesn’t know if he should stay looking ahead at the screen or glance over at Harry and their now-brushing hands. 

Louis makes a decision and drops his gaze to their hands, seeing Harry’s pinky and ring finger resting over the back of his hand and stroking softly. He looks up at Harry’s face to see the boy watching him with a wide-eyed gaze and an apprehensive tilt on his lips. Harry moves his hand further until it rests fully on top of Louis’ and lets out a choked noise when Louis raises his thumb to caress Harry’s pinky.

Harry’s mouth drops open lightly, pink tinging his cheeks as his eyes widen even more and it makes Louis smile small and shy as he looks back down at their hands. Harry carefully shifts a little closer as if any quick movements will send Louis running for the hills - which, he’s probably not wrong about - and relaxes back into the seat beside him.

There’s no words exchanged, only the simple touch of Harry’s hand on his, and Louis doesn’t know if the warmth in his chest is happiness or fear but he’s content to just sit back and enjoy the end of the movie.

Maybe he’ll ask Liam about it tomorrow. 

\--

_No, you don't know the one_  
_Who dreams of you at night_  
_And longs to kiss your lips_  
_And longs to hold you tight_

“Are you all set for tomorrow?”

Liam looks up from his breakfast and nods at mum while swallowing down the bites of pancakes, his mum making a pleased humming noise as she starts to clean up the breakfast mess. Her floral dress is covered by an apron - which is covered in bacon grease and coffee stains - and it moves along her legs as she fusses about the kitchen. As she cleans, his mum chatters on about how pleased she is that Liam is taking Jade to the dance tomorrow night and that she _just knew_ the two of them would get together at some point.

“Mum, I told you,” Liam starts, walking over to the sink with his dirty dishes in hand and a frown on his lips. “Jade and I are going as pals. Nothing else.”

His mum frowns and takes the dishes before dropping them in the sink and turning back to Liam. She looks up at him - puberty giving him that advantage even though her hard stare makes him feel 9 years old again - and places her small hands on his shoulders before kissing his cheek.

“Alright, if you say so, young man.” She says, laughing as Liam rubs at his cheek where he’s sure there’s a bright red lipstick mark. “But if I find out you’ve pinned her from someone else, you’re grounded.”

“Mum,” Liam whines, heading to the table to slip on his jacket and grab an apple before starting to exit the kitchen. “That would be impossible since I don’t plan on pinning her.”

She waves him off and he goes to leave - needing to get to Dinah’s soon - but not before saying over his shoulder with a smile, “Besides, Niall and Jade are probably going steady as we speak.”

As he leaves, Liam hears his mum muttering about him never finding a girl at this rate and the grin falls from his face, a pair of golden eyes coming to mind and a harsh twist in his gut. 

He thinks about his mum’s words the entire walk through town, converse hitting the sidewalk and turning around corners on autopilot. She’s right, of course. Liam isn’t going to find a girl any time soon - does he want to find a girl? - if he kept chasing after boys with greased up hair and shy smiles. He isn’t going to get that bright future with a wife and kids, playing catch in the front yard like his dad did with him. 

He stops in his tracks across from Dinah’s with its bright lights and echoing laughter and leans against the brick wall behind him. Gently knocking his head back, Liam blinks rapidly as he feels the prickling of tears behind his eyelids and wills them away. He knows he’s overreacting - he’s only seventeen for Christ’s sake why is he thinking about marriage? - but he can’t stop the steady stream of panicked thoughts or the heavy heaving of his chest as he tries to breathe. 

Liam squeezes his eyes shut, inhaling the cool air through his nose and trying not to think about golden eyes and soft hands and the _finally_ that warms over Liam’s skin when Zayn touches him. He rubs a hand over his face, pressing fingers against his eyelids to make the wetness go away. He looks around after a moment, hoping no one saw him in his despair before glancing over at Dinah’s.

With a deep sigh, Liam pushes off the wall and schools his face into something that screams _normal_ and _happy_ and _doesn’t think about boys naked_ before crossing the street. He twists between the parked cars, shouting hello to a guy from the team that’s sitting in the front seat of a red Sedan with his girl, before grasping the door to the diner.

He doesn’t look over at the counter when he walks through the door, opting to keep his head down and mind blank. Louis shouts hello when he slides into the booth by the jukebox and smiles at the gang - which apparently now includes Harry Styles.

“You alright, Li?” Louis asks, eyes narrowed.

“Yeah, ‘course I am!” He plasters a wide grin on his face and hopes Louis buys it. The older boy glances at him a little longer before turning to Harry and continuing a conversation - rather Louis yelling at him - about Elvis. 

“We missed you last night, Leemo!” Niall spits out through chunks of burger, his arm around Jade and his cheeks pink. 

“Like you noticed anyone else with Jade next to you!” Liam crows, trying to smile his way through it and avoid glancing over at the counter.

Niall blushes and mumbles something Liam can’t hear but it makes Louis bark out a laugh and reach across the table to ruffle Niall’s blonde hair. They all shift into conversation, shouting out comments about the movie or the sock hop dress code or that weird thing their friend Ed did the other day, and Liam finds himself slowly slipping back into his normal self.

It’s not until later on as he’s slouching against the plastic booth and watches Jade blush as Niall whispers something to her before nudging his plate towards, offering his food, that he feels displaced once more. 

Turning to Louis, he opens his mouth to start a conversation only to realize he and Harry are wrapped in their weird student-teacher debates over rockabilly sound and it just makes Liam feel really _lonely_. So he sits there for the rest of the morning between his friends, barely being spoken to and keeping his gaze down until the clock hits twelve and he’s muttering some excuse about having to help his dad at home.

Liam wanders through town for a bit, not wanting to go home and face his mother’s questioning gaze, but finds he has nowhere to go. He’s about to give up and head down the road to his house when a thought springs in his mind and he finds himself standing on the bridge by the lake, Zayn’s favourite place. 

He’s not sure why he came - since he knows full well that Zayn wouldn’t be here - but the smell of the water and the gentle cool breeze lulls Liam into settling down against the hard planks of wood within seconds. It’s here, amongst the foliage and the solitude, that Liam’s mind finally rests. 

\--

_It's so easy to be smart_  
_With somebody else's heart_

Liam and Jade stand, arm in arm, at the front steps of the high school with every intention of going inside but finding themselves unable to move. Liam glances over at Jade, who is staring down at her lily-white shoes and nervously brushing down the skirt of her dress and pushing up her glasses and softly nudges her. When she looks up, wide brown eyes lined with mascara and kohl, she smiles at him and he tilts his head towards the open doors where the sound of The Four Aces is blaring down the empty halls and spilling out into the night air. 

“Ready?” Liam asks, letting go of her arm to squeeze her hand. 

She nods quickly and begins to make her way up the steps with Liam trailing behind, forgetting the nervousness of before at the idea of parading herself in a fancy dress in front of her classmates. Liam has known Jade for a long time and he’s never seen her like this. She glows under the pale blue light of the decorated gymnasium, eyes searching out Niall’s bright blonde head before turning to look at Liam and stretching out a hand towards him. 

“C’mon, I wanna dance!” She says, smiling wide and making Liam grin and let her drag him to the dancefloor. 

The dancefloor is mostly full with people shaking their hips to the beat and trying to get as close as possible without the chaperones noticing. Liam keeps Jade at a respectable distance, smiling and crinkling his eyes when she laughs at the space between them. She grabs his wrist and pulls him a little closer but he steps back, his eyes glancing over Jade’s head towards the front of the gym.

“You’re a real gentlemen, Li.” Jade says through a giggle, the sarcasm blending into the low timber of her voice. 

He ducks his head, rubbing at the back of his neck before tipping his eyes back up at his best friend and letting out a huff of laughter. “I was trying to be respectful. Your beau is glaring at me from the stage.”

He watches as Jade spins around, the hem of her dress tickling his ankles as it sways, and sees Niall perched on the stage with his blue eyes locked on them and his hands fiddling with his guitar. Jade raises her small hand and wiggles her fingers, waving at the blonde boy who grins beatifically in response before ducking his head and focusing on the guitar as the band starts.

Liam shimmies a little, shifting his hips awkwardly with Jade as the lead singer - Niall’s friend, Luke - croons out the booming opening lyrics to _Hound Dog_ and twists his tiny hips in an imitation of the King himself. Jade giggles at his attempts to dance and slides their fingers together, pulling Liam to her and moving him with her. 

He lets out a bark of laughter as he trips over his own feet somehow and flashes a grateful smile at Jade instead of glancing around to see if anyone saw him make a fool of himself, Jade’s earlier words echoing in his head - _“What they think doesn’t matter, Li. Just ignore them and have fun.”_

She sends him a small smile in return, both of them turning to the stage during the guitar solo to watch Niall bob his head with the beat and Michael - the other guitarist - twist his hips like he’s been practicing in front of the mirror all day to get it _just right_ before Luke brings in the next verse. Liam grins over at Jade as they dance and huff out a laugh when it comes crashing to a finale of cymbals and guitar riffs. 

“Want some punch?” He asks, tilting his head toward the long table by the wall of the gym.

Jade nods and links their arms as they make their way over to the punch bowl, pressing her small fingers into his arm in reassurance. Liam feels guilty, he hasn’t really told her the whole truth tonight. He had been sweating back at the house, suit feeling too tight against his skin and the feeling of eyes on him intensifying as he thinks about entering that gym. 

He told Jade it’s about their peers and the watchful, judging eyes of the student body when really, there’s only one pair of eyes that Liam is nervous about. Those golden eyes that would slide over his body without shame, watching him smile or laugh or squirm under the bright lights of the gym. 

Just like they’ve been doing for the past hour that he’s been dancing with Jade. Liam didn’t notice him at first, focusing on Jade’s shy smile and making sure she has a time of it, but once in a while he’d feel a prickling down his spine and he _just knew_.

Like now, as he’s scooping up two cups of punch, those bright eyes watch him from their spot by the doors. Zayn is leaning against the wall, leather jacket rucking up a bit by his hips and smirk in place as he keeps his gaze steady. His friends crowd around him but all eyes are on Jesy - as per usual - as she passes around a silver flask that glints under the gym lights.

Liam shift his eyes to Jade and hands her the punch with a smile, Jade’s cream coloured cardigan stretches as she takes the cup before her eyes meet his. He looks away and over at Zayn and catches the boy’s eye - making him smile even wider and stand up straighter against the wall - before ducking his head quickly as his face heats up at being caught staring.

When Liam looks back up at Jade she looks over her shoulder and Liam thinks she’s glancing over at Niall again but when she turns back around, she says, “Zayn Malik’s looking fit tonight, eh Liam?.”

Liam sputters, punch dripping down his chin and splattering the collar of his white shirt with little red dots. Jade snorts out a laugh - covering her mouth immediately after in an attempt to be lady-like - and presses a hand against Liam chest who looks down at her incredulously. 

Liam struggles to fix his expression into something neutral, that doesn’t give the game away, and looks down at Jade. She’s smiling up at him, a sweet smile that reminds Liam of all those times Jade would comfort him after being teased, and presses harder into his chest as if to tell him something. Liam coughs and straightens up, gently pushing away her hand and placing the punch down. 

“You shouldn’t let Nialler hear you say that,” He pushes out, heart still lodged in his throat as he tries to make his voice light. 

“What?” She asks, brow furrowing. “Liam, I - ”

“I’m gonna - gonna go to - ” Liam stutters and pushes past Jade but stills when her small hand slips into his own.

“I know, Liam.” She breathes out, face calm and reassuring as Liam turns, trying to breathe normally. “ _I know._ ”

Liam’s eyes widen, his heart plummeting from his throat into his stomach and it’s just like when Louis cornered him in his bedroom. He feels sick. But the hand in his isn’t pulling away, instead squeezing back in reassurance, and Liam is looking down at Jade confused and slightly nauseous. 

He faintly hears the band slip into a calm rendition of _The Great Pretender_ but it all fades into the background as he whispers, “How?”

“We’ve been friends since we were in diapers, Liam, you think I’d miss something like that?” She smiles and pulls him closer so he’s not so much running away as leaning into her arms. 

Liam breaks from her embrace and steps back, his lips tipping up tentatively as he rubs at the back of his neck. Embarrassed at mistrusting Jade, his cheeks heat up a little when she punches his shoulder and mutters, “Idiot.” His mind is reeling, wondering how both of his closest friends have known something he’s only just learned about himself. He wonders how long they’ve known, how long they’ve kept his secret from him like he’s kept it from them. He wonders if Niall knows. He wonders -

“Wanna dance?” He chokes out instead, biting at his lip and tilting his head back towards the dance floor before any of those thoughts leave his brain. Jade smiles understandingly and takes his hand, nudging her hip into his to the beat of Niall’s guitar playing.

\--

_Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go._  
_You have made my life complete, and I love you so._

After a few more dances and reassuring smiles, Jade thinks Liam has calmed down enough to enjoy himself and not fret but she still notices his shifting gaze and twitching limbs that he tries to hide under the guise of dancing. The band closes up the first set and heads for a break, Ashton spewing out some mindless joke from behind the drum kit that makes a few people laugh, including Niall. That familiar boom of laughter sets off something warm in her stomach and she turns over to the stage in an attempt to capture even a smidge of it. 

Jade watches as Niall chats with Ashton by the drum kit, swallowing down some water before sliding his guitar into its case. Ashton laughs at something he says and Niall beams at him, rubbing a hand over the front of his polo. She hears Liam says something and mumbles out a response she hopes is right without taking her eyes away from Niall’s bright energy. 

“Jade?” Liam says, fingers shaking her shoulder gently and causing her to finally rip her eyes away from the stage.

“You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?” Liam asks with a grin.

“I have too!” Jade replies indignantly, even though she knows he’s right and has no idea how to get out of it.

“What have I been talking about, then?” He says through a smile.

She clenches her small hands and darts a look over Liam’s face, searching for some clue as to what he was just saying. Nervously, she pushes her glasses back up against her nose before dropping her hands.

“Football?” She guesses, cheeks pink and shoulders shrugging coyly. 

Liam shakes his head fondly and gives her one of his tiny smiles - the ones he gives when he’s trying to be mad but fails hopelessly - before looking up over at the stage. He pauses for a moment, rubbing a hand over his chin and letting out a huff of laughter, before turning back to her.

“How about I step out for a while, give you two some time alone?” Liam says, eyebrows raised in question. 

Jade jumps a little, hands coming up in front of her as if to push away Liam’s words. Aside from the social implications of Jade going off to dance with another boy while Liam is off on his own, there’s also the the fact that she doesn’t want Liam falling into his thoughts right now. She messed up earlier, telling him she knew. Jade thought it’d make him feel better - less weighed down by secrecy - but the tightening around his eyes got worse and his skin got paler and she wishes she’d never said anything at all.

“No, Li, don’t be ridiculous, I’m having a swell time with you.” Jade leans forward and grabs his hand, linking their fingers together in reassurance. 

Liam smiles softly, tilting his head a little before saying, “I know you are but I also know you’d be having a much _greater_ time with your fella.”

Jade ducks her head before Liam can see her blush - though he wouldn’t say anything, it would prove him right and she’s not about to let that happen - and feels Liam unwind their fingers and drop her arm by her side. Nudging her face up with a finger under her chin, Liam smirks and jerks his head toward the stage before stepping back and walking out of the gym without another word. 

Sighing, Jade pushes all worried thoughts of Liam to the back of her mind because she knows that what Liam wants and makes her way over to the stage. The soft blue material of her dress sways along her legs as she moves, the crinoline scratching against her tights. Niall is sitting along the edge of the stage beside Mikey, talking loudly with his hands and making the boy with the spiky hair laugh. 

The conversation peters of into silence when they see her approach and Niall shouts out, “Jay! Good t’ see ya. How’s Liam doing? He didn’t step on your toes did he?”

She laughs and shakes her head, running a hand over her hair to make sure it’s still lying flat and not frizzing out (her mother spent a _fortune_ on this new cream to help her out and so far it’s been working!). Jade grins up at Niall and says, “Actually, Liam’s gone off somewhere. Says I should be spending the night with my guy.”

Niall lets out a choked sort of noise before he tells Mikey he’ll see him later at the barn party before hopping off the stage and standing in front of Jade. She smirks at him and his faltering attempt at cool before grabbing his hand and walking them onto the dance floor just as the music player spins onto Elvis Presley’s hit _Love Me Tender_. 

“You’re sure?” Niall asks hurriedly, hands still by his side even as Jade slides her arms around his neck. “Liam’s not gonna come out from the bathroom and tower over me menacingly until I leave?”

Jade snorts out a laugh - hearing her mother’s voice saying how unlady-like it is - before smiling at Niall fondly. She runs a hand over his shoulder and down his arm, sliding her hand in his and raising his arm until their somewhat in position. Niall’s other arm comes up on the middle of her back, fingers digging in slightly as she hears his breath quicken over the music. Presley croons his song as Niall attempts to sway them to the beat, his feet nudging Jade’s every few seconds and a blush blooming on his pale cheeks.

“Are you nervous, Niall?” She teases, tongue poking out through her teeth.

The blonde boy blushes again, face completely red as he looks away from her gaze. Jade slips a hand from his shoulder up his neck to play with the little hairs along his nape and softly calls for Niall to look at her.

“If it helps, I’m nervous too,” she whispers, not wanting anyone else to hear. 

Niall grins widely and tries to shuffle closer only to be stopped when a chaperone comes by and swings a hand between them with gusto muttering something about ‘room for the holy ghost’. Jade snorts again, this time completely uncaring of what her mother would think as Niall joins her. They giggle until Elvis is done his song and Niall’s friends take the stage once more.

“Aren’t you needed up there?” Jade asks, tipping her chin towards the stage.

“Nah,” Niall shakes his head, never taking his eyes off her. “I told ‘em that if a beautiful girl came up to the stage and dragged me away to dance, I wasn’t coming back.”

At that, Jade grins even brighter and squeezes the nape of Niall’s neck affectionately as his fingers tighten on her back.

“So, I guess I better go back to the stage then, huh?” Niall says, eyes glinting mischievously and smile growing as Jade responds with a loud guffaw - one that she tries to hide behind her trembling fingers but can’t. 

That night Jade finds herself forgetting all the rules of etiquette her mother taught her, the snorting and laughing and dirty jokes pouring out her minute after minute as she leans into Niall’s embrace. His blue eyes lighting up every time she did something ‘unlady-like’ or put a hand on his arm, lighting up something bright in Jade she never wanted to extinguish. 

\--

_Only you can make this world seem right_  
_Only you can make the darkness bright_  
_Only you and you alone can thrill me like you do_

It’s times like these where Liam wishes he’d taken up Louis’ offer to try cigarettes when they were fourteen, tucked into the side streets between their neighbourhoods itching to be cooler in some miniscule way. He knows giving Jade and Niall some time together is the right thing to do since they only have eyes for each other anyways but he can’t help feeling left out even of his own choice. 

Only Liam didn’t think about how he’d be sitting alone on the darkened front steps of the school with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company. Absently rubbing his forefinger and thumb in search for a cigarette, Liam doesn’t let his thoughts drift to a certain dark-haired boy. 

The Four Lads bleed out from the front doors as Liam shifts out of his suit jacket - the air surprisingly warm for the fall - and drapes it over his knee before rubbing a hand over his face. 

“Y’alright, Liam?”

He swiftly turns his head toward the voice, not ready to face those sharp eyes. Liam lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding - relieved to see Michael walking over, dropping down onto the step beside him. His dark hair sticking to his forehead from sweat as a wide grin picks up on his lips. 

Liam nods quickly before staring back down at his shoes. He doesn’t really know much about Michael except that he’s friends with Niall, since they go to the same school, and that he plays guitar in a band. Michael nods back at him, mouth tilting up again into a small smile, both unsure where to go from here since the only time the two have ever talked was with Niall involved - and no one really gets a word in when Niall’s involved. 

“Cig?” Michael extends a hand, a box of Lucky Strikes in his grip.

Slowly reaching forward to slip one out of the package, Liam whispers a thank you before sliding the cigarette between his lips. Michael lets out a huff of laughter before patting the pockets of his jacket, looking for his lighter.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smoke before,” he says, looking over at Liam under the curling fringe of his hair. 

“‘Cause I don’t.” Liam gets out gruffly, throat already feeling rough even before the cigarette is lit.

Michael huffs out another laugh before nodding his head a couple of times, as if to match the beat of the Gene Vincent tune crackling beyond the halls, and leaning closer to Liam. The flame flicks out of the top of the Zippo lighter in his grip and Liam leans in, cigarette dangling between his lips as he lights up.

He doesn’t look at Michael as he slowly takes a drag, coughing harshly on the exhale and letting out a soft self-deprecating laugh. Liam hears the other boy laugh once more, almost picturing the way his head is thrown back and bites his bottom lip.

“Any reason you’re out here on your own, smoking cigarettes that you don’t smoke?” Michaels asks, exhaling easily. 

Liam crosses his arms over his folded knees, shaking the ash off the tip of the cigarette before popping it back between his lips. The second exhale is easier than the first, Liam only letting out a little cough before he’s inhaling again a little more seamlessly and turning his gaze over to Michael.

“Just...stuff, I guess.” Liam breathes out.

He realizes that tells Michael nothing but the other boy nods as if he gets it and bumps shoulders with Liam before throwing an arm around his shoulders. He slowly plucks the cigarette from his lips, spreading his arm out wide before bringing it back to gesture at Liam as if he’s about to impose some wise life lesson.

“See, it’s all about - ”

“Hey Mikey, there you are!”

The pair crane their necks to look behind them, Michael’s arm falling off Liam’s shoulders as he does so, to see Calum in the doorway, upper body leaning out a bit. 

“We’re on in five, stop bashing Liam’s ears and get inside.” He continues, nodding at Liam in greeting before looking at Michael.

Other than a big grin and a clap on his shoulder, Michael doesn’t impart any other sort of goodbye, leaving Liam on the steps with the Lucky Strike almost at its end and no resolution to his problems. The minute the two left, the silence took over again and Liam felt that helplessness spread through his chest. All night he felt those golden eyes on him but not once did Zayn come up to him, say hello, or give any indication that he was going to do more than lean against the gymnasium wall. 

It kinda hurt, is all. And now Liam is stuck outside of a dance he didn’t really want to be at any longer, pouting and licking his wounds. He takes a final drag and stubs out the cigarette against the cement, starting slightly when hears footsteps.

“Since when do you smoke?”

Spinning around for the second time that night to someone looming over him, Liam isn’t surprised to see Zayn standing beside him. The dark-haired boy motions to the empty spot beside him and Liam nods, looking away as Zayn folds himself down beside him. Liam freezes, his body going still when he feels Zayn’s hand skimming over his lower back and leaning into Liam’s space. The warm feeling under his skin returns as Zayn’s eyes flicker over Liam’s face and he can’t seem to turn his head and look at him.

All night he longed for Zayn’s touch and now that he has it, he’s not so sure what to do. Zayn’s fingers play over the bumps of his spine over his thin button-up, causing Liam’s breath to catch in his throat and his leg to start jiggling.

“Are you alright?” Zayn asks, face inches from Liam’s - always hovering, always observing. 

It unnerves Liam but he turns his head to look at him and gives him a tentative smile, finding himself leaning into the hand on his back. 

He feels engulfed by Zayn. His body surrounding most of Liam’s left side, hand pressing into his spine while his breath coasts his cheek as he wavers, body swaying toward Liam’s every so often. Liam wants to reach out and touch Zayn, slide the pad of his thumb over the sharp ridge of his cheekbone before pressing his mouth against it. 

Just as he’s building up the courage to lean in, hand sliding on top of Zayn’s knee with a tentative grin, Zayn removes his hand from Liam’s back and places it in front of Liam palm up.

“Can I walk you home, Liam?”

\--

Liam isn’t sure this is a good idea but he falls into step beside Zayn anyway as they turn the corner away from the high school, their hands swinging by their sides. Jade didn’t say anything other than a cheeky ‘have fun’ when he told her where he was going and Liam doesn’t have the energy to understand that and the looks Zayn keeps sending him every few seconds.

“So who was that?” Zayn asks, lighting up a cigarette and blowing out the smoke before clarifying. “The odd ball you were talking to earlier.”

“Mikey?” Liam replies, looking at Zayn in confusion and running a hand along the back of his neck, fingers digging into the warming skin. “I didn’t know you were there when we were talking.”

“I wasn’t.” He lets out quickly. Shrugging, as if to regain that air of cool that always follows Zayn around, he continues, “I just saw him leaving as I came out to see you, is all.”

His other hand tightening around the fabric of his suit jacket as he looks over at Zayn, who is studiously avoiding his gaze now, Liam smiles softly at the thought of Zayn coming to find him. But then Liam remembers how he waited all night for Zayn and the warmth in his chest turns back into annoyance. He stops walking abruptly and stuffs his hands into the pocket of his suit trousers. Zayn stops too once he realizes Liam is no longer by his side and turns to him, brow furrowed and mouth twisted in a frown around the cigarette. 

“Why did you?” He asks, head held high and unwavering.

“What?”

“Come outside.” 

Zayn shifts uncomfortably under his leather jacket, plucking the cigarette from his lips and exhaling slowly, as if biding his time. Liam doesn’t back down, eyes narrowing as he recalls the hours in the gym watching Jade make eyes at Niall - who in return blew her air kisses - while Zayn’s only interaction was to lazily watch Liam from across the room.

“I mean you obviously didn’t come to the dance for me, so why’d you bother coming to see me outside?” Liam pushes out, pressing his hands as deep as they can go into the fabric of his pockets - jacket draped in the crook of his elbow - instead of reaching out to smooth the crease in Zayn’s forehead like he wants to. 

Zayn stays silent, looking at Liam like he’s contemplating his words carefully. He takes another drag before dropping the cigarette to the ground and slowly crushing it with the toe of his boot while speaking, his voice coming out slow and determined. 

“I didn’t know you were bringing a date. I thought I’d keep my distance.”

“Jade?” Liam huffs out through a laugh. “You know she and I are just friends.”

“You looked pretty close at the dance.” He replies, dropping his head before rubbing a hand over the side of his greasy head. “She seems ace.”

“Niall seems to think so. Since he’s jacketed her and all.”

He almost laughs outright as Zayn’s head snaps up, his eyes widening and mouth parting slightly as his expression softens. Liam takes a couple steps forward until he’s back by Zayn’s side with a smile kicking up the sides of his mouth and pushing his eyes into a squint. He wants to slide his hand in Zayn’s, intertwine their fingers and never let go but he’s still not sure when he can touch. Instead, he clears his throat and leans his upper body forward a little. He sees Zayn smile a little, his cheeks pinking up a bit, before it’s gone just as quickly. 

“Zayn, Jade and I - ”

“Let’s ice it, man. It’s no big deal.” Zayn interrupts, waving a hand in front of him and turning to look across the road to the park. 

Liam’s about to tell him that it is a big deal if Zayn’s thinking that he has feelings for Jade - which, no, she’s like a sister to him - and he needs to change these thoughts quickly but Zayn takes off, jogging across the road toward the park with nothing more than a ‘C’mon, Leeyum’. 

The park is technically closed at this hour and no one is supposed to be on the grounds but Zayn apparently doesn’t care because he slides through the poorly locked gate and turns around to watch Liam. He doesn’t say anything, only tilting his head back and beckoning Liam forward, and with that Liam finds himself sliding past the fence before he could talk himself out of it.

He doesn’t know where they’re going or what Zayn’s up to, the boy only looking back once in a while to see if Liam is still following but not saying a word. They come to stop somewhere near the center of the park by the semicircle of benches and the large fountain in front of it, the water trickling out of the top slowly, loud in the quiet of the night.

“What’re we doing?” Liam finally asks, voice falling into a whisper and lips quirking up into a grin as Zayn grabs his hand and tugs him over to the fountain.

He lets go once they’re at the fountain’s front, bending down to slip out of his socks and shoes and roll up the leg of his trousers up to the knee. Confused as ever, Liam watches him perch on the edge and slowly dip his feet in even though the water must be freezing at this time of the year. Zayn looks over his shoulder at Liam, eyes glinting mischievously and Liam forgets how to breathe properly.

“You coming or what?” He asks, voice just as low as Liam’s and biting his lip and not breaking his gaze. 

Liam moves languidly, as if his body were already submerged beneath the water of the fountain, and makes his way by Zayn’s side until the front of his thighs hits the edge. He looks over at Zayn, eyes crinkling as he smiles brightly and shakes his head.

“What’re you doing?” Liam asks, giggling and feeling that tightness in his chest unravel.

“I’m not too sure, really.” Zayn replies, catching his tongue between his teeth as a small laugh slips out. “It seemed like a good idea at the time - ”

“Hey!” A loud, booming voice calls from the other end of the square, flashlight beaming at them and getting closer. “Hold it right there, you delinquents!”

Zayn jumps out of the fountain as if burnt with a loud ‘Oh shit!’ and scoops up his socks and shoes before grabbing Liam’s hand and yanking him back down the path they came, the security guard shouting behind them. Liam keeps a tight grip on Zayn’s hand as he runs, looking over his shoulder at the man and his flashlight who seems miles away right now, and lets out a loud laugh into the night. They duck between the fence and don’t stop running until they get down a block by the radio store, feet skidding on the pavement as they let out breathless pants.

They fall against each other, arms and shoulders brushing as they laugh into the night. The air is cool against their warm bodies, Liam having only his white button up on and his jacket slung over his shoulder. Zayn makes quick work of putting on his socks and boots, making a face at his scratched up feet but then shrugging it off. Liam leans against the brick wall, back pressing against it lightly as he tries to catch his breath. His head lolls to the side as Zayn straightens up and as he looks at him through his eyelashes, catching his eye and Liam can’t seem to look away. 

For a few moments, it’s as if time stands still. The cool autumn air slides under the material of their clothing and along their skin, making Liam shiver as he rests his head against the brick. The other boy shifts, moving slowly and not breaking their gaze as he stops in front of Liam. There’s no one around, from what Liam can tell, the hour too late for most adults and children to be walking along these parts and Liam is grateful for the silence. 

In the quiet he can hear the way Zayn’s breathing shifts, erratic and hot against Liam’s cheek. He doesn’t ask if he can touch, instead bringing his hands up quickly to grip onto the front of Zayn’s shirt - not sure if he wants to pull him closer or push him back a step. The air is cool but Liam feels hot all over, body surrounded by all that Zayn is, his eyes flicking from the boy’s golden gaze to the slight pout of his mouth. Liam’s fingers tighten in the material as Zayn slides his fingers over Liam’s cheekbones, caressing the side of his face until his hand rests on his jaw. 

“Is this alright?” Zay whispers, his hand trembling a bit against Liam’s skin.

With a knot in his throat, Liam can’t seem to respond so he pushes himself off the brick wall and up against Zayn’s front, relaxing his hold on Zayn’s shirt until his palms lay flat against his chest. Zayn simply watches him as he tilts his head up a bit, chin jutting out slightly and breath coming out erratically, before pressing his lips gently against Zayn’s. 

It takes a second - a long second where Liam’s whole body goes into a horrified panic - till Zayn responds and pushes forward against Liam’s mouth. He lets out a startled moan before sagging against the wall and pulling Zayn against him by his shirt. Zayn’s kisses are tentative and slow and everything Liam thought they’d be in the darkness of his bedroom when all his thoughts centered on _zaynzaynzayn_. 

Zayn’s soft fingers stroke over Liam’s jaw reverently, opening his mouth over Liam’s and sliding his tongue inside. Liam is grateful that he’s got the wall for support because he’s pretty sure without it, he’d be a helpless puddle on the floor when his tongue meets Zayn’s. He wraps his arms around Zayn’s waist, nudging Zayn flush against him and eliciting a tiny whimper that almost makes Liam pass out.

A car honks on the side road, headlights dipping into the alley a little, and causes Zayn to step back from Liam with a jolt. They stare at each other for a moment, chests rising quickly and Liam bites down on his lip to keep from pulling Zayn forward. Which seems unnecessary once Zayn props his hands on the wall by Liam’s head and goes back in for another kiss.

“How about I get you home now.” 

\--

_Show all the world how to get along, peace will enter when hate is gone._  
_But, if it's not asking too much, please send me someone to love._

There is a gentle sound of humming, a foot tap here or there, as Louis slowly flicks through the boxes of 45s. Harry sits at the counter with his head swaying slightly, his feet kicking out slowly in front of him in time with the music. In the dim light, Louis looks up at Harry and feels his heart stir. They haven’t really talked about the night at the movies, when Harry held his hand and Louis gripped back as if his life depended on it. Instead, there seemed to be a silent agreement to just _keep_ doing it.

So every few moments, whether they’re tucked into a booth at Dinah’s or Harry is hanging out at his work, Louis finds himself settling in soft touches so brief he could deny them ever happening if someone happens to see. The younger boy, as fresh and sweet as a new record, must be handled with care and Louis isn’t going to let him hurt. Harry’s big, green eyes follow him around the room as Louis does stock check, fingers sliding over the tops of records and humming along with the song echoing through the empty shop.

“Do you like it? The song?”

Spinning on the stool, Harry turns to face Louis. A soft grin on his face when he says, “It’s nice.”

“‘Nice’? Percy Mayfield is anything but, Haz.”

“I think it’s nice,” Harry whispers, looking down at his vest.

Louis pauses, wants to say more, wants to explain how Percy Mayfield is a legend. I mean listen to the man’s _voice_ \- only Harry is staring down at his lap, teeth sinking down on his bottom lip and it makes something twist in Louis’ stomach. He thinks maybe he’s forcing himself - his music, his friends, his personality - on Harry, too much, too fast, and it makes Louis bite the inside of his cheek to keep from apologizing. Louis Tomlinson doesn’t do apologies. 

He turns back to the box of records by his hip and flips through them, blue eyes roaming over what is there and isn’t there, what sold quickly and what’s gathering dust on the shelves because some hot, new thing has come along and stolen the spotlight. He grabs the pen from behind his ear, fingers catching along some of the grease in his hair - styled into a jelly roll tonight since it best suited the white t-shirt and jeans look - and writing down his findings.

“Hey, Lou?”

“Yeah?” He mumbles, not looking away from his stock papers.

“I’m sorry.”

Louis looks at the box of 45s, inspecting them for any imperfections before selecting one and holding it carefully in his hand. They’re so light in his hands and so fragile, one simple move and this something beautiful is just shards of pieces littering the floor. They kind of remind him of Harry sometimes, soft to the touch and with one wrong move, Louis feels like he could break him forever.

“What for? You don’t have to like the record. He’s not for everyone, I guess.”

Harry wrings his hands in his lap and stutters, “No, it’s not that. I - I like the song.., Mayfield. It’s nice, I just… I just wish I could have gone to the dance tonight.”

Louis feels his stomach drop. Of course Harry wanted to go. He never should’ve suggested another late night “music lesson” and feels like he kept Harry from a good time. He’s about to shut it all down and send the younger boy on his way when he hears it.

“I wish I could’ve gone with you.”

That’s not something Louis is prepared for so it’s no surprise when the record slips from his grip, landing on the ground in a soft thud. He scrambles to pick it up, dusts off the jacket, and places it back in the box thanking his lucky stars that it didn’t crack. He wipes his hands fruitlessly on his Levi’s and pulls a mask of cool interest, spinning to look over at Harry.

“Yeah?” Louis recovers. He sees Harry still looking down at his hands and hopes that the other boy missed the whole incident.

When Harry finally looks up at him, the reply is quiet, “Yeah.”

They look at each other for what feels like forever. The first notes of “Please Send Me Somebody To Love” peel through the air and Louis thinks that that is divine intervention if he ever heard it. Slowly, not wanting to spook the boy, he walks towards Harry and holds out a hand. He hopes Harry doesn’t notice how badly it’s shaking as Louis tilts his head back as if to say ‘let’s go’.

Harry places a shaky hand in his - and Louis doesn’t crow happily inside that Harry is also as nervous about all this as he is - before Louis leads him to the aisle between the A-G and H-N. It’s a bit of a tight squeeze for the two of them, but when Louis pulls Harry close, he thinks it’s for the best. They fumble for a few seconds, either of them not sure where to put their hands - “I’ve only ever danced with a girl before,” Louis mumbles - but they soon figure it out as Mayfield croons in the background.

They sway in place as Louis tentatively places his hand at the small of Harry’s back, inching him even closer until there is nothing between them. The air is buzzing and warm as the rain continues to patter down and Louis thinks it couldn’t possibly get any better until Harry nestles his chin into the slick of his hair. He sometimes forgets how tall Harry is compared to him but now, as their bodies sway together in the darkened, empty shop, he’s reminded and it sends a thrilling feeling down his spine.

The jazzy piano sends them moving slowly through the whole record store, moving and clinging to each other as if there is nothing that could possibly come between them. Louis loves music, but he’s never quite understood it as well as he does when he’s holding Harry in his arms. As the song comes to a finish - please please send me someone to love - Louis dips his forehead to rest on Harry’s cotton-covered collarbone and clears his throat before speaking.

“Who needs a sock hop anyway?”

\--

_Hold me in your arms, dear, dream with me_  
_Cradled by your kisses, tenderly_

Liam wakes up earlier than usual the next morning, even for him, and he thinks it has something to do with the dark-haired boy tucked between the sheets of his twin-sized bed, blanket twisted around his torso and face smushed into the pillow. He’s still wearing his clothes from last night - as is Liam - but managed to shed his shoes, socks, and tie before falling into bed next to him. Liam fights back a giggle as Zayn lets out a noise and shoves into the mattress a little more, hand scratching at his nose. His lips are pushed out a little into a pout and Liam really wants to kiss him, just like last night.

Liam shoots up in bed at the thought, head going a little dizzy and fingers clenching by his sides. He kissed _Zayn_. _He_ kissed Zayn. He _kissed_ Zayn. He can’t fight the laugh that beats out of his throat at the thought and looks over his shoulder back at Zayn, who hasn’t moved at all. It’s unbelievable. That Zayn kissed him back, that he walked Liam home, and that he said yes when Liam asked him to stay.

Unbelievable.

“Liam!” His mother’s voice can be heard clearly from the kitchen.

He usually yells back that he’ll be down soon but he doesn’t want to wake up Zayn from what looks to be a very peaceful slumber. Without really thinking about it, Liam reaches out and brushes the pad of his thumb over the high point of Zayn’s cheek, caressing the soft skin and watching Zayn let out a sigh and continue sleeping. 

Quickly and as quietly as he can, Liam slips out of bed and removes the white button-up and the white tank top underneath before slipping off his black suit trousers. He rolls his shoulders back and forth to relieve some stiffness from his muscles from sleeping so compactly against Zayn in such a small bed before pattering over to his wardrobe. Biting his lip and staring at his clothes, Liam finds himself wondering _what to wear_. His brown eyes scan each shelf of clothing before looking over to his closet and wondering if he should try in there. Slipping on a simple pair of beige khakis and belting them right at his bellybutton, Liam rubs at the back of his neck as he wonders why he’s so worried about what he looks like.

“Wear that white polo shirt, with the checkered collar. I like you in that one, makes you look like Gene Kelly.”

Liam spins around, arms coming up to cover his chest in some way as he looks down at Zayn who’s propped up on an elbow and smiling lazily at Liam. He can feel the blush creep over his face, down his neck and chest, and grabs at the first shirt before turning back around and slipping it on.

“How - ” Liam clears his throat, voice rough with sleep and underused. “How long have you been awake?”

He hears Zayn let out a laugh behind him as he shuts the wardrobe with a pair of socks in his grip and turns around. Zayn looks at him from under his eyelashes and Liam feels hot all over. Biting down on his bottom lip through a wide, sly grin, Zayn sits up in Liam’s bed and runs a hand over his dishevelled hair.

“Right around the time you dropped trou.”

Liam lets out a choked noise and blushes even more, letting out a groan as he covers his face with his hands. 

“Oh god.” He moans.

He stays hidden behind his hands to save himself from more embarrassment, so he doesn’t see or hear Zayn get out of bed until a pair of warm hands are pulling his down from his face. Zayn smiles gently at him, tongue pushes against the backs of his teeth and it calms the unease in Liam’s chest. Zayn still has Liam’s hands tucked in his so Liam takes the opportunity to intertwine their fingers, eyes focused on where their skin is touching. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were awake.” Liam mumbles, thumb stroking over Zayn’s index finger as he speaks.

Zayn lets out a laugh that fans across Liam’s cheek and Liam revels in their proximity, wanting to move closer and press his body to Zayn’s like he did last night but the other boy has other plans. Zayn untangles his fingers from Liam’s and steps back, bare feet sliding across the carpeted floor as he moves.

Then, in a flash, Zayn’s trousers hit the floor and his button-up is buttoned up no more, undershirt following in its path. Standing in the middle of his bedroom, Zayn stretches his arms above his head and lets out a yawn in nothing but his boxer shorts and a cheeky smile.

“Wha - what are you _doing_?” Liam sputters, eyes wide but not looking away.

“Now we’re even.” Zayn shrugs.

“Ev - even? You’re insane, Malik.”

A smirk quips up his lips at that and Zayn walks across the room to stand in front of Liam once more, this time placing his hands on Liam’s waist and digging his fingers into the fabric of his polo shirt. He dips his head slightly, nose brushing along Liam’s jaw before his lips meet his ear.

“Insane would be kissing you even though I hear your mother’s footsteps on the stairs.”

Liam’s eyes widen and he fights to get out of Zayn’s grip but the boy only holds on tighter and brings his head back to look at Liam’s face. He watches as Zayn’s gaze dips to his mouth and for a second, Liam forgets that he can hear the footsteps too. He wants Zayn to kiss him so badly he doesn’t care who sees so he tips his head down a little to meet Zayn’s lips but the boy is gone the minute the door handle turns.

“Liam, dear I - ” His mum stops, surprised eyes on Zayn who has thankfully - and surprisingly quickly - put on a pair of Liam’s jeans and a white t-shirt that was hanging on his desk chair. “Oh! I didn’t know you had company. Who’s this?”

Liam clears his throat, running a hand over his unstyled hair and smiling at his mother. He goes to answer her but he’s beaten to it. Zayn takes a couple steps forward, leaning in and offering a hand to his mother before introducing himself with a toothy smile. He watches the two chat for a few minutes and Liam is a bit shocked, having never seen this side of Zayn - this polite, parent-friendly version that makes jokes with his mother and says ‘m’am’. 

Coming back to himself, Liam goes up to Zayn’s side and explains, “He stayed over last night ‘cause I didn’t want him to walk home alone at such a late hour.”

His mother lets out a simpering noise, patting his cheek and looking back over at Zayn. She goes on telling Zayn how _he’s such a wonderful boy_ and _did you know Liam does the neighbourhood paper route?_ and _it’s so good to see him have some more friends, though i do wish he’d bring a girl around sometimes._ It goes on for so long that Liam’s dad joins them in the entrance of his bedroom, wondering where everyone is for breakfast. When Geoff spots Zayn, the whole fanfare begins again - ending shortly this time when the smell of burning bacon wafts up the stairs.

Before following his parents downstairs, Liam pulls Zayn back into his room by the crook of his elbow and nudges the door shut.

“I’m so sorry about them.”

“Don’t be. They’re great.” Zayn replies, rubbing a hand over his jaw and wearing that blinding smile. “They kinda remind me of my own family, actually.”

“Really? ‘Cause I can get you out of breakfast if you want, don’t feel obliga - ”

Liam is cut off by Zayn pressing his lips against his, mouth turned up into a small smile as he runs a finger along the length of his neck in what’s meant to be a soothing gesture but only causes Liam’s nerves to light up even more. Before he has the chance to kiss back for more than a second, Zayn pulls away and gives him another smile. 

“C’mon, breakfast’s waiting.”

\--

The barn is lit up with field lights and lanterns, music pouring out of its wide doors along with laughter and the general noise of a teenage party. Rolling up toward the parking area, Liam steers into one of the few empty spots and turns to smile at Jade who is laughing at something Louis is saying from the backseat. Stuffed in the back (along with a couple of six-packs and marijuana cigarettes) are Louis, Harry, and Niall all jazzed up for the party. Not long after he’d found out that Nick Grimshaw was hosting a barn party, Louis ran over to Liam’s to convince him to come - _“Zayn is probably gonna be there…”_ \- and then rounded up the rest of the gang to join. 

Liam was ready to go and get there _on time_ but Harry was going to come into the car dressed in a button-up and slacks before Louis marched him straight back into his house and into a pair of comfortable khakis and a polo shirt, which is somewhat better. It’s a far cry from his usual outfits but not exactly fitting to the jeans-and-t-shirt combo the rest of the boys were donning.

Parking the station wagon and switching off the ignition, Liam unbuckles himself and slides out of the car without a word, knowing the others will continue without him. He pockets his keys and waits for Harry to get out of the back seat - he ends up tripping and nearly braining himself on another car before Liam catches him - before following Niall and Jade up the path to the party. Someone nudges his elbow and he looks up to see Harry grinning at him shyly before adjusting the collar of his polo.

“Thanks for the shirt, Liam.” He says, fingers rubbing along the material over his chest as if feeling it out.

“You’re welcome, H. You look cool, real cool.”

“You think so?”

Harry’s looking at him with wide eyes and a hopeful expression, as if he’s never heard a compliment and it hits something familiar in Liam’s chest. Liam smiles, eyes crinkling a little, at this boy Louis happened upon and who just fit so well into their little group. Bringing along his odd quotes from old novels and kinda-bad knock-knock jokes, he slowly stopped being ‘Louis’ friend Harry’ to just Harry. Throwing an arm over Harry’s wide shoulders - barely noticeable under all those sweater vests - and chuckling, Liam nodded.

“Not as cool as Lou, though, I bet.” He mumbles, green eyes lighting up as he watches Louis jump on Niall for a piggy-back ride. Wondering if that look in Harry’s eyes means what Liam thinks it means, he watches the boy watch Louis some more before looking over at the brown-haired deviant himself.

“No, not as cool as Louis.” He murmurs. “But still pretty cool.”

When they finally get inside, Louis grabs Harry’s wrist and pulls him over to the drinks table starting early on his promise to get Harry drunk at his first high school party. Jade just smiles over at Niall and he knows that its time to dance as _All I Can Do Is Cry_ starts spinning and they make their way over to the makeshift dance floor. Liam sure hopes Niall knows what he’s in store for as he watches the various couples dancing - twirling and twisting and grinding their hips together in a way that is _definitely_ not allowing for the holy ghost - and sips slowly at the beer in his grip. 

He recognizes a lot of people here, some from the team and some from class but doesn’t know them well enough and is definitely not drunk enough to start up a conversation with them. So, he stands on the sidelines watching his friends have fun and doesn’t think about how it’s kind of sad or true to form that he’s standing alone at a bash like this. 

“Why am I always finding you on your own?”

Liam turns and looks over his shoulder to see Michael grinning at him, inky black hair loose and falling into his eyes without all the usual grease holding it back. He grins wide and lets out a small, self-deprecating laugh before shrugging his shoulders in answer to his question. Michael shifts closer, their shoulders brushing as they look out at the people dancing and laughing. 

“Do you normally like being on the outside looking in?” Michael asks, raising an eyebrow at Liam.

“No, I’m just - ” He stops and bites at his bottom lip, narrowing his eyes at Michael playfully. “You’re a panic and a half, Clifford.”

Michael laughs, sliding a warm hand over Liam’s shoulder while the other tilts the rest of his beer into his mouth, and leans into Liam a little. He’s probably halfway to wasted and finding every little thing funny, but Liam takes a small token of pride at the fact that someone at this party seems to want his company. They talk a bit about the sock hop and the reception for the band - “It was awesome, Li, you should’ve stayed longer.” - and their plans for winter holidays. 

“You having a time of it, then?” Liam asks, turning his body toward Michael as he speaks, finding himself revelling in the attention.

Michael grins down at him - which is apparently his answer since he doesn’t say anything - before bringing the bottle up to his lips. Liam lets out a laugh at the silliness that usually embodies everything Michael does and pokes at his cheek impulsively. The other boy dribbles some beer down his chin as he stupidly laughs and he wipes at his chin with the back of his hand, fingers pressing into Liam’s shoulder as his eyes shine.

Liam bites at his lip to hold in another giggle and sees Michael smirk at him, opening his mouth to speak but shutting it when a hand drops on his shoulder. They both look over to see Zayn standing there, a strange smile on his face and an eyebrow raised. Liam beams, lips stretching wide and eyes crinkling as he forces himself not to grab Zayn and tuck him into a dark corner and press his mouth against his.

“Liam, there you are!” He says loudly, eyes scanning blankly over his face as Liam stands up straighter. Zayn looks over at Michael and the smile gets sharper. “And who’s this?”

“Michael Clifford.” Michael says, hand outstretched for a shake and an honest, friendly, and slightly drunken smile on his face. “Pleasure to meet you.”

Surprisingly, Zayn takes his hand and murmurs his own name back but his golden eyes still retain that strange glint. Liam wonders what’s wrong as he takes in the hard edges of his smile - one so strikingly different than the one he gives Liam when he laughs or Liam says something stupid - and he bites down on his bottom lip to keep from asking. Zayn drops his hand from Michael’s shoulder, moving closer to Liam’s side and swinging an arm around his neck to lean on him a bit.

“How do you know Liam?” Michael’s words are slurring by now so the question came out slowly - or maybe that was just in Liam’s mind?

“From around.” Is the only response he gets from Zayn, whose attention is straying as he looks around the party instead of the conversation. 

“Right.” Michael puffs out before taking a swig of beer and turning back to Liam. “Nice chatting, Payno. Talk soon, yeah?”

Liam nods and the other boy is gone before he can mention a hang out at Dinah’s with the gang, his lanky form lost in the crowd of people moving along the dance floor. He feels weird - like Michael felt like he had to leave - and he wonders if everyone can tell that he and Zayn have kissed. He panics for a moment before realizes how absurd the thought is and turns to the boy in question. Zayn’s smile is back to normal, the lines around his eyes more relaxed than when he was talking to Michael and Liam frowns.

“Are you okay?” He asks, clenching his hands by his side as he resists the urge to run a hand over Zayn’s jaw. 

“Yup.”

“You sure? You were acting weird.”

Zayn shifts so that he’s standing in front of Liam and places his hands on his shoulders - which Liam totally does not freak out about even though this is the first time Zayn’s touched him in front of people - and smiles softly. 

“Everything’s ace now, Liam.”

He wants to asks again because he feels like Zayn is lying to him but the boy digs his fingers into Liam’s shoulders as if telling him to let it go, so he sighs and keeps his mouth shut. Liam nods and Zayn drops his hands back to his side and takes step back from Liam, as if reminding himself that they’re in public. It’s only now, as he gets full look at him, that he notices that Zayn’s still wearing his clothes from this morning. He grins wide and before he can think about it, he’s saying, “Let’s get out of here.”

\--

_This is the secret of what bliss is_  
_For bliss is what your kiss is_

There’s something about the way Niall smiles over at her that Jade finds addicting and makes her absolutely greedy for it, fingers tightening around his hand and skin feeling hot all over. It’s in the way only one side of his mouth tilts up fully and how his eyes shape into a crescent shape, the blue sparkling under the lights of the gymnasium.

He bites down on his bottom lip, expression expectant and Jade realizes he asked her a question. She jerks her head up a little, blinking quickly and smiling at Niall and going with the first answer that pops into her head. 

“Sure.”

Niall lets out a boom of laughter, eyes squinting further as his whole body rocks forward with it. He squeezes Jade’s fingers and smiles down at her and Jade stands confused, head tilted slightly. Her hair, tied up in a ponytail, is tickling her shoulders as she asks him why he’s laughing.

“You weren’t listening to a damn word, were ya?” He asks, smile still pushing up his cheeks. 

Jade blushes, biting her lip and looking down swiftly at her pale white shoes. She looks up just as quickly, mind whirling as she tries to come up with an excuse that isn’t _I was too busy writing sonnets about your eyes in my head_ but comes up empty, ending up sputtering a little and snapping her mouth shut. Her blush intensifies, face feeling hot and a little bit sweaty. Jade takes her hand out of Niall’s and smoothes down the invisible wrinkles in her black pedal pushers before risking a glance at the boy.

“You’re real cute,” Niall says, tucking his hands in to his pockets and smiling cheekily at Jade, rocking back on his converse sneakers.

Jade blushes again and looks back down, pushing her glasses back up on her face as they slide down again. Since when does she blush this much? And why can’t she stop smiling? This boy is going to be the death of her, she swears it. When she looks back up, squaring her shoulders and regaining some sense of her usual self, Niall is still smiling contentedly at her with eyes sparkling. Whoever is in charge of the music is starting up a rockabilly hit that Louis is always playing at The Bop - something by Carl Perkins that Jade can’t remember the name of right now - and she takes that moment to change the subject.

“Dance with me?”

She ignores Niall’s look of surprise and grabs his arm, dragging the blonde boy to the middle of the dance floor and grinning up at him as she starts to shake her hips. Plenty of Sunday mornings practicing in front of the mirror has prepared Jade for this, feet shuffling as she goes with the beat. She catches Niall’s wide grin when she looks up from her feet and he grabs onto her hands, moving with her as they both wiggle to the new rockabilly dance moves that - according to Louis - are all the rage now.

If her mother were to see her now, with her ankles exposed and her body twisting in the arms of an Irish boy, she doesn’t know what would happen. Instead of worrying about it, she closes her eyes and lets the guitar riffs and Niall’s hands guide her. By the time the last chord drifts out, Jade and Niall are a sweaty, panting mess and grinning like they wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

In the lull between songs, Niall tangles their fingers together and pulls Jade close to him. She watches as his blue eyes darken slightly and flick down to her mouth, his teeth sinking into the flesh of his bottom lip before letting it go, as if he’s made a decision. If they were any other place and with any other kind of people, Jade would be ostracized but here, she can stand up on the tips of her toes and press her lips against Niall’s without a word about it. 

Well, that’s not true. Because as she wraps an arm around Niall’s neck and he deepens the kiss, there’s a distinct cat call coming from the drinks table that Jade is pretty sure Louis is responsible for. She ignores him, opting to press closer into Niall’s warmth and kiss back as fiercely as he is. His hands are resting on her upper back, fingers pressing in gently as he holds her.

When Jade pulls back, forehead resting against Niall’s clavicles and breath coming out erratically. Her hand grips the nape of his neck and she leans back a little to look up into his face. With a grin, she quips, “Nothing like a first kiss in front of all our pals, eh?” before leaning up and sliding her mouth back over Niall’s. He lets out a noise of surprise before kissing back and sliding his hands a little lower until they rest against the lower part of her spine. 

Someone puts on a new record, the chatter of the party dimming down a bit under the noise of the music - something slower this time - and Jade stops to breathe, her eyes fixated on his. She steps back just a little, body still entangled in Niall’s and vice versa, and smiles up at him softly.

“Dance with me?” She asks again, lips wrapping around the words gently as her eyes ask him something entirely different, _stay with me, be with me, love with me_. Niall nods - two slow bobs of her head as he takes in all that Jade is giving him - and pulls her back to him, thin arms tucking her against him and swaying their bodies to the melody.

“I’d dance with you forever, Jay.” He whispers against her hair, face tucked beside hers, and Jade knew in the way he gripped her tighter afterward that Niall was talking about something else. That maybe, just maybe, he is feeling the same overwhelming emotion under his skin as Jade is right now and the only thing they can think of to get through it is to dance. As she sways with him through the final hum of lyrics, Jade thinks about how she believes it’d be okay dancing through life with Niall in her arms. 

\--

_In the still of the night_  
_I held you, held you tight_

“Where’re you taking me?” Liam murmurs, chest brushing against Zayn’s back every so often as he follows the other boy. 

Zayn doesn’t answer and continues walking through the grass behind the barn, getting further and further away from the party and its lights and music and laughter. He stops and under the bright lighting of the moon, Liam sees him lean against the south wall of the barn and slip a cigarette from behind his ear to between his lips. Liam lets out a shaky breath as he stares at Zayn, unable to look away from the way the moonlight shines off the arch of his cheekbones. 

He knows Zayn is beautiful - anyone with eyes knows that - but there’s something in the way he carries himself and in the way he’s not afraid to be himself that Liam gravitates towards. Even now he finds himself being pulled by some invisible force closer and closer until he’s standing right in front of him, wiping off the sweat from his palms on the fronts of his jeans and moving in close. Zayn stares at him, eyes almost going cross at their close proximity and mouth dropping open slightly and a stream of bluish smoke floats upward. 

Liam counts to three, bringing his hands up to cup the sides of Zayn’s face, and leans in to press his lips against Zayn’s in a gentle kiss. He pulls back, eyes searching Zayn’s for a rejection of some sort - something to throw him out from this dream where Zayn actually wants Liam to kiss him - and finds nothing so he goes back in for more. Liam kisses harder this time, a moan vibrating between their mouths, as he feels Zayn’s hands cup Liam’s jaw much like Liam is doing to Zayn. He can feel the heat from the cigarette by his ear but can’t seem to care when Zayn slides his tongue in his mouth and swallows down anymore sounds Liam makes.

“What’s brought this on?” Zayn asks as they separate, breath coming out a little uneven which makes Liam smile. 

“Nothing,” he whispers, even though they’re alone and far from people . “Just wanted to.”

“Yeah? Not thinking of someone else?”

“What?” Liam asks, eyes wide and incredulous. 

Zayn shrugs, the material of his leather jacket pushing with the movement. He doesn’t elaborate, only sucking down on the cigarette delicately balanced between his middle and forefinger. Liam pushes Zayn back until he’s hitting the barn wall and leans forward until his face his close to Liam’s and the heat from their breath starts to mingle. Zayn smells like cigarettes and hair grease and Liam wants to kiss him but he holds back, needing answers.

“What’re you on about?” He asks again, shoving Zayn slightly to get him to look at him.

“Nothing,” he mumbles, shrugging again as if this conversation has no impact on him whatsoever. “Just thought you and that Clifford kid seemed mighty cozy. Y’sure I’m the one you want that pretty mouth all over?”

Liam shakes his head roughly, forearms bracing against the wall by Zayn’s head as he leans in again and captures his mouth in a rough kiss, pushing all of his anger and indignation into the kiss and hoping it bleeds into Zayn and past this wall of accusations. The anger seeps away as they kiss and Liam lets out a laugh against Zayn’s slightly parted lips and shifts back to look Zayn in the eye.

“You’re so stupid, Zee.” He says, eyes warm and hands gentle as they brush away a loose lock of hair along Zayn’s brow. “How could I ever want anyone else but you?”

Zayn doesn’t answer, eyes wide and vulnerable under the dull light and dips his head down before taking another drag and letting the smoke spill out of his mouth. Liam presses Zayn back against the wall of the barn, taking the cigarette from his fingers and dropping it by his feet and stomping down on it. Liam looks back up at Zayn to see that he’s raised his head and is watching his every move, waiting to see what Liam does or says next. He wants to tell Zayn that he’s being ridiculous, that there isn’t a chance that anyone else could want him let alone that he could want anyone else.

“Zayn…” He breathes, eyes flicking over Zayn’s face before dipping in and kissing him once more. 

This kiss isn’t like the one before or even the one after. This kiss is different - with the way Zayn’s teeth nip at Liam’s bottom lip and the moans that slip out of his throat when he does - because they both know it’s not going to stop at just kissing. Liam can feel Zayn pressing hotly against his hip and he shifts until Zayn is groaning into the kiss and arching up into Liam’s touch. 

Pulling away from the kiss, Liam tucks his face into the curve of Zayn’s neck and slides his hands to the small of his back, pulling him so much closer. The rough material of his Levi’s does little to relieve the aching pressure of his cock and he’s half-crazed with lust and the need to get off that he forgets to be nervous and glides his mouth back over Zayn’s and pushes their hips together. He does it again and again when he realizes the kind of whispered moan he could elicit from Zayn when he does and smiles against his cheek when the dark-haired boy sinks the pads of his fingers into Liam’s shoulders, holding on tightly as he rocks against Liam. 

“Li, I - I think I’m - ” Zayn gasps out, hips moving faster against Liam’s and breath coming out shakier.

Liam tucks his thigh between Zayn’s while whispering his name against the curve of his cheek, grinding forward until he feels the other boy stiffen and let out a long, high-pitched whine before a warmth spreads over the front of his jeans. Zayn slumps back against the wall of the barn, neck bared as his head tilts back and he sighs. Liam runs a sweaty hand over Zayn’s neck, pressing his mouth into soft kisses along his jaw. 

“Are you okay?” Liam asks, smiling against Zayn’s cheek.

He doesn’t reply, only grins widely and turns his head a bit to line up their mouths for a small kiss. Zayn pecks his lips once more before he shuffles his hips a little and realizes Liam is still hard. He jerks his head up, lips parted and stares at Liam.

“You didn’t come yet.” He states bluntly.

“No,” Liam replies, shrugging and looking at Zayn fondly. “I wanted you to first.”

“Why?”

Zayn looks so confused, thick eyebrows pinched together as his expression shifts from one of awe and perplexion. Smiling softly, Liam runs a thumb over his brow to smooth out the worry. 

“Because you thought I didn’t want you, when the truth is I’ve never wanted something so bad in my life.”

Zayn doesn’t respond - and really, Liam’s used to it by now - but he does do something that catches Liam off guard. Without a word, his hands go to unbutton and unzip Liam’s jeans before one hand dips below the hem of his boxers and wraps around his still-hard cock. Having someone else’s grip along his cock is a new, exhilarating feeling and Liam has to catch his breath when Zayn starts to pump his hand, thumb swiping over the head and making Liam jerk into his touch. 

It doesn’t take long - a couple more twists of Zayn’s wrists and a fiercely whispered c’mon Liam - before Liam is spurting into his boxers and little over Zayn’s fingers, teeth biting down on his bottom lip. He pants, hands coming up to brace himself on the wall by Zayn’s head so he doesn’t fall against him and grins down at Zayn. The other boy wipes his hand on the inside of Liam’s boxers before removing his hand and redoing Liam’s jeans before smirking up at Liam, golden eyes bright under the moonlight.

“You want me, huh?”

\--

They walk back to the car awkwardly, the mess in their jeans making it difficult as well as the fact that Liam can’t keep his hands off of Zayn for more than a second. Luckily, none of their friends have gone looking for them and they can hide away in Liam’s car for a few more minutes of peace. With no one around the small clump of parked cars, Liam presses Zayn up against the passenger door and slides his mouth over Zayn’s in a way he would’ve been terrified to do just this morning. 

“At least get inside the car, Leeyum.” Zayn mumbles against Liam’s mouth. 

Liam untangles himself and unlocks the doors, nudging Zayn into the back seat and sliding in right after him. They both turn slightly, so that they’re facing each other and Liam smiles at Zayn under the rays of moonlight that light up his face. He feels like he should be shy - considering just a few minutes ago Zayn had his hands around his dick - but Liam only moves closer until their bodies press along each other’s and leans his forehead against Zayn’s shoulder. 

“Thank you,” Liam whispers against the leather of Zayn’s jacket.

Zayn reaches in between them to grasp Liam’s hand, playing with his fingers before intertwining them. He gently rests his head against Liam’s and breathes in deep, hand squeezing his.

“For what?” Zayn whispers back.

Liam blushes and is thankful for the darkness that surrounds them, leaning back from Zayn’s shoulder to look at his face, watching the beautiful boy in front of him grin. He bites on his bottom lip - which is a bit sore from earlier - and gently squeezes Zayn’s fingers before leaning in and kissing him once more just because he can.

“For giving me you.” Liam says softly, eyes never moving from Zayn’s.

Zayn doesn’t say anything but his lips tip up just a bit more and his eyes squint under the moonlight and it tells Liam so much more. He leans in and captures Liam’s mouth in a kiss, his other hand coming up and resting on the side of his face. His thumb caresses the roundness of Liam’s cheek, pressing in a little when he leans closer and slips his tongue inside Liam’s mouth. They moan together and Liam can feel a stirring in his navel but pushing back as a small laugh erupts from his throat and against Zayn’s skin.

“What’s so funny?” Zayn asks, words coming out a bit slower than usual.

“That you thought I wanted someone else.” Liam replies, biting his lip to keep the giggles in.

He hears Zayn huffs out a laugh but Liam’s too busy watching their fingers intertwined, Zayn’s slightly darker skin fitting perfectly between Liam’s tanned skin. Zayn tucks two fingers under Liam’s chin and nudges his head up so he can kiss him again, lips closed and soft against his. When he pulls back, he whispers, “Can you blame me, Liam?”

Liam jerks back at that, eyes wide and shoulders stiff as he stares over at Zayn. Mind whirring and unable to comprehend that Zayn may possibly be feeling the same anxiety and doubt of Liam’s affection as he is for Zayn. Blinking slowly, eyes skipping over every breathtaking feature that Zayn has to offer from the small tip of his lips to the shine of his eyes in the dark, Liam doesn’t understand how this boy can be real let alone that he thinks he’s undesirable in any way.

“I don’t understand,” he says, shaking his head and looking over at Zayn for answers.

The other boy lets out a harsh breath, rubbing a hand over his mouth before tugging on their entwined hands till they’re lying in his lap. He doesn’t look up at Liam as he speaks, eyes downcast and focused on how he plays with Liam’s fingers, rubbing over the rough pads of his fingers and sliding over warm skin.

“You’re like this golden boy, Li, and you don’t even know it.” He starts, wiping over his mouth again in nervousness. “You play football and you wear smart clothes and you help old ladies cross the street, I mean what would a guy like that do with a guy like me?”

Liam sits silently, not wanting to break whatever spell has Zayn talking and spilling out his feelings like this, but does squeeze back when Zayn grips onto his fingers tightly. He watches the other boy look up at him, eyes a little shinier under the dim lighting and jaw hard. Sliding even closer until their thighs were crushed together and both of Liam’s hands were pressing against the side of Zayn’s face, Liam tips his head forward until his forehead rests against Zayn’s and sighs against his skin.

“You,” Liam mutters, gripping tightly onto Zayn. “Are so amazing, don’t you see that?”

“I’m not, I’m just some nobody - ”

“No.” Liam grits out, pushing against Zayn even harder as if he could melt the words into his skin. “No, you are strong and funny and smart. Zayn you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met, I envy you sometimes.”

As he speaks, Liam pulls back to catch Zayn’s eye as if making sure he understands the sincerity behind each and every word. He darts a look all over his face, taking in the hopeful eyes that stare right back at him. Liam presses a quick kiss to Zayn’s mouth and tucks the boy into his arms, hugging him tightly while whispering all the good things he knows about Zayn into the skin of his neck. He knows Zayn won’t believe a single word he’s saying but he says them anyway, hoping that one will stick.

He pulls back - but not before kissing Zayn a few more times - and smiles at the boy who just shakes his head ruefully. Zayn smiles back tentatively before grabbing onto Liam’s hand again and tucking it in his.

“I want to believe that you think that, Li.”

“So believe me.”

“I want to.” Zayn insists, thumb pressing against the slope of Liam’s fingers. “It’s just hard to get with it, the idea of you wanting me like I want you.”

“Well then I’m just gonna have to keep reminding you.”

“Well, ain’t that a bite?” Zayn says, his usual cheeky smiling finally returning to his face and making that warm feeling erupt in Liam’s chest once more. He falls against Liam and lets out an embarrassed laugh against the cotton of his shirt and Liam just hugs him to his chest. As the moon continues to shine above them, Liam holds Zayn to him and tells him about how he’d get a kick out of doing his paper route because it always brought him by Zayn’s house in the mornings and watches the dark-haired boy smile against his skin. He hopes maybe, just maybe, Zayn believes him a little bit more now.

\--

_Once I had a secret love_  
_That lived within the heart of me_  
_All too soon my secret love_  
_Became impatient to be free_

Cradling his second drink, Louis scans the mass of people - friends, classmates, absolute strangers - looking for a certain head of brown curls and coming up empty. His jelly roll stays in tact atop his head, despite the amount of dancing he’d done earlier with Jade and Leigh-Anne, and he smiles over at a girl with brown, curly hair who’s giving him a look, a drink in hand. Ignoring her, he tips the rest of his drink into his mouth and swallows it down before tossing it off to the side. 

He looks away and smiles softly as he remembers the look on Harry’s face when he did that with his first drink - green eyes bugging out as he sputters about rudeness - and Louis only stared back at him amusedly, lips curved into a smile he realizes he only uses around Harry. His mission tonight was to get Harry drunk for the first time at his first ever party. 

What he didn’t know was that tipsy Harry was actually very chatty and Louis lost him somewhere around the stage where he had one arm wrapped around Ashton’s shoulders and the other waving around as he blabbered on about something, a small group of people absolutely charmed by it all including tonight’s host.

It’s been a while since he’d last seen Harry and busies himself talking to people he hasn’t seen since the last time they were out here for a party, trying to quell the urge to go looking for the boy. He mostly succeeds except for the way his eyes flick over the crowd every few seconds or his heart starts to beat a little faster whenever he sees a mop of curly hair.

Louis is too busy watching Jesy Nelson pour an entire can of beer over Danny Riach’s head after he tried to sneak a hand into her blouse, so he doesn’t notice when Harry stumbles back up to him and drapes himself over his body, fingers catching on the rough material of Louis’ denim jacket. Louis laughs as he takes in Harry’s slightly inebriated state and pushes him back to see if he can stand up alone. Luckily, Harry doesn’t tip over but smiles sloppily at him as he says hello in the slow, husky way that just comes natural to him.

“Hey, Haz. How’re you feeling?” Louis scans Harry’s face for any sign of nausea or discomfort at being in such a crowded place and only finding Harry’s blindingly bright grin. 

Harry nods and dips his head a little before reaching out and grabbing Louis’ hand, dragging him closer to him as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Ripping himself out of Harry’s grasp as quickly as he can, Louis glares at Harry before twisting his head around and making sure no one saw. 

Luckily everyone within a few feet of them is currently occupied - whether it’s with booze or babes - and Louis feels they’re in the clear. Spinning back to face Harry, who’s looking dejected and sad, Louis glares again and sets off, hands shaking by his side as he squashes down the want for Harry’s touch.

“What the fuck were you thinking, kid?” He spits, reverting back to the old nickname in his rage. “Anyone could’ve seen us.”

Harry doesn’t answer. Louis stares at him, waiting for a response instead of the stock still mannequin that Harry has become, eyes glazed over and jaw hard. If not for the way Harry’s not meeting his eye and the way he’s clenching his hands into tight fists, he’d think Harry isn’t listening to him. 

“Huh?” He goads, trying to get a reaction from him. Harry mumbles something but it goes unheard under the roar of music and drunken laughter, so Louis repeats his question.

“I just wanted to hold you.” Harry breathes out, eyes wet now, and making Louis’ anger dissipate as quickly as it came.

Harry wraps his arms around himself and Louis can see how tightly he’s clutching onto the material of his polo, blinking rapidly to hold back his tears.

Louis steps forward to comfort Harry, wanting to place a hand on his shoulder or tuck him under his chin or kiss him senseless, whatever will get that desperately hopeless look off his face. Only the boy senses his intent and turns away quickly, long legs taking him across the barn and out the doors before Louis can find his voice and call out his name. 

Running after him, Louis scans the expanse of field surrounding the barn, the lights showing a good amount beyond the doors but not enough for him to see Harry. Eyes adjusting to the darkness, he whisper-yells Harry’s name and searches for the tall, lanky boy in his ridiculous cream-coloured polo shirt and beige trousers. Finally, when he’s reached the empty tool shed a little ways away, he sees a hunched figure leaning against and calls Harry’s name once more.

The boy looks over to where Louis is standing and means to walk away but Louis wraps his fingers softly around Harry’s wrists, gently asking him to stay without actually saying a word. Louis’ gone through life loudly demanding what he wants - and usually getting it too - but ever since Harry walked into The Bop past closing time, it’s never been that way with him. So he asks the boy, with a wide-eyed gaze and a gentle press of his fingers against Harry’s pulse, to stay.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers, even though they’re alone and far from anyone else.

He catches Harry’s eye, the green looking pale and sad under the moonlight. He shrugs and smiles ruefully before sinking into Louis’ touch, dipping his head to rest between the crook of his neck. He feels Harry press a kiss gently into his skin and his breath catches a little, the two of them never going further than holding hands, but relaxes when Harry does it again telling him that he forgives Louis.

“I’m not mad at you,” he mumbles into Louis’ neck, leaning back to look Louis in the eye the best that he can. “I’m just frustrated that I can’t even hold your hand whenever I want.”

Louis stares back at Harry and bites down on his bottom lip, loosening his grip on his wrists and tangling their fingers together. He watches Harry smile as he does it, eyes dipping down at their hands before looking back at Louis. Letting out a harsh breath and feeling the unfamiliar prickle of tears behind his eyes, he blinks them away rapidly. 

“I’m sorry for that too.” Louis says, even though he knows it’s not his fault, he feels like he’s let Harry down anyway. “But we can’t - it’s not _safe_ , Harry, you understand?”

“I know, I just - ” 

“I know.” Louis says gently, letting go of one of Harry’s hands to slide his over his cheek, cradling his face and swiping at the lone tear. 

They stand there for a few moments under the light of the moon, the faint rumblings of the party becoming background noise to the faint beating of Louis’ heart as he wonders when he started to fall for a boy. A boy with wondrous curls and awe-filled eyes, a boy with a deep, careful timber when he speaks, a boy who is both naive and aware all at once. He wonders if it happened that night in The Bop all at once or if it happened slowly over time, with soft touches and whispered conversation. 

Without another thought to it, Louis gathers Harry in his arms - both hands wrapped around the boy’s waist as his fingers dig into the flesh of his back - and leans down, stopping short in front of Harry’s mouth waiting for permission. Harry grants it quickly, launching himself at Louis in an ill-practiced move that leaves the kiss lopsided and sloppy but neither seem to mind. Louis huffs out a laugh and shifts until his lips brush against Harry’s and the younger boy lets out a sigh.

“You kiss like a Doris Day tune,” Louis mumbles, pulling back and smiling at Harry whose blush can be seen brightly. 

“What does that even _mean_?” Harry groans into the night, eyes sparkling with the unsaid you pretentious twat as he dips back in for a small peck.

“You’re soft.”

“Well if you don’t like it, don’t kiss me.” Harry pouts, pulling Louis closer despite his words. 

“I never said I didn’t like it.” He growls slightly, sliding his mouth back onto Harry’s without hesitation and feeling the other boy smile into the kiss before returning it.

“Well how do you think _you_ kiss, then?” Harry asks, licking his lips into a grin and teasing Louis to no end.

“Easy.” He replies, chest puffing out a little. “I kiss like an Elvis track.”

“You wish.” Harry jeers playfully, fingers twisting into the fabric of Louis’ cotton tee underneath his denim jacket. 

Knowing he’s only teasing, Louis still takes his words as a challenge and latches his mouth onto Harry’s before the boy can say another word. Louis presses his lips hard, hands coming up to tangle in Harry’s curly locks and making Harry whimper into his mouth. 

He slides his tongue into the wet heat of his mouth and feels Harry’s moan more than hears it, the sound going straight to his cock. Louis flattens his body against Harry and the younger boy only kisses him back harder, every nerve igniting under his skin from his mouth.

Pulling away panting, Louis smirks at Harry and coyly flattens down the material of Harry’s shirt as the other boy still tries to catch his breath. “Told ya I kiss like an Elvis record.”

Harry nods stupidly, eyes dazed a little, and it makes Louis let out his crow of a laugh. He can feel Harry hard against his hip and he knows how painfully he’s pressing against the fly of his jeans but he’s also aware that the first time he gets a hand on another boy’s cock, the first time he gets a hand on Harry’s cock, shouldn’t be against a tool shed a few feet away from a party full of drunken greasers. 

He untangles their bodies, missing Harry’s warmth and hard torso, but keeps their fingers entwined. They stand in the silence of the night for a while, enjoying the feel of each other’s bodies being so close, not wanting to go back to the party where they can’t _touch_.

“About earlier,” Louis starts, remembering why they’re out here in the first place. “I want you know that just because other people don’t know it, _I am_.”

“Am what?” Harry asks confusedly, pulling Louis closer and wrapping one arm around his waist so that Louis can tuck his chin against his collarbone. 

“I’m yours.” Louis whispers against Harry’s jaw, hugging the boy tightly against him and feeling him hug back just as hard.

\--

_If I give my heart to you_  
_Will you handle it with care_  
_Will you always treat me tenderly_  
_And in every way be fair_

Liam stands outside the school’s front doors, watching people file in and out, letter jacket weighing on his broad shoulders. He runs his palms over the sides of his hair, making sure each strand is held in place and takes a deep breath. He hates game days. Game days means everyone is watching and the last thing Liam wants is the attention of his peers, especially since he can’t seem to stop thinking about Zayn and it’s causing an unfortunate reaction in his pants.

Shuffling into the main hallway and heading towards his locker, he smiles politely and thanks anyone who sends him good wishes for the game this evening. They all know Liam doesn’t actually play but the spirit of the sport and the colours Liam wears, is enough for them to treat him a little better than they would normally. 

There isn’t much fanfare through his morning classes, everything going about as usual until he gets to English and notices Zayn slouching in the back row - with two empty seats beside him and terrified looking geeks sitting in front. Ignoring his usual seat by the window where he can daydream instead of writing notes on Shakespeare, Liam makes his way through the rows to sit next to Zayn.

He can hear some whispers from the girls by the front, no doubt wondering why clean-cut Liam is sitting next to a greaser, let alone Zayn Malik. He ignores them and turn his head a fraction to smile softly at Zayn, who he sees from the side of his eye smirking back at him.

Mrs. Hill clears her throat just after the bell rings, signalling the start of the lesson and the moment Liam begins to tune out. A few minutes go by and Liam’s well into a terribly drawn doodle of a dog peeing on an old copy of Macbeth when a tiny folded up piece of paper lands on his desk. Without catching Mrs. Hill’s attention, Liam unfolds it and smiles at the all-caps handwriting.

_WHAT’S BUGGIN YOU?_

Liam frowns at the paper before looking over at Zayn, whose eyes are downcast and focused on Mrs. Hill’s lesson, pencil sporadically writing down notes. He loses his train of thought - the one wondering how zayn knew he’s upset - as he admires the sheer concentration on his face, tongue poking out from his teeth a little as he nods along with the teacher’s words. 

Liam smiles into his hand, wondering how Zayn can go from distractingly sexy to adorable so quickly. He picks up his pencil again and scribbles down a quick _nothing_ underneath his question before folding the paper back up and sliding it back to Zayn when no one is paying attention. 

Trying to tune in to Mrs.Hill for some of her lesson, Liam brings his attention to the front of the class, fingers tapping silently on his desk. He’s distracted again when the piece of paper lands beside his hand once more. He opens it up, brown eyes looking up to watch the teacher before glancing down.

_SHUCKSTER, YOU HAVEN’T STOPPED FIDGETING. TELL ME._

He huffs out a breath, shifting in his chair and looking over at Zayn again. This time, he’s looking over at Liam but that previous focus for the lecture is now directed at Liam. Zayn’s eyebrows are furrowed, mouth in a straight line and he nods toward the paper, mouthing out ‘tell me’ before turning back to the class. 

Liam rubs a finger over his brow and stares hard at the piece of paper. How can Liam tell Zayn that it’s because it’s game day and on game day, Liam is reminded of his place in this school, in this town. He’s reminded that he’s second string, that he’s just a notch below _good enough_. He’s reminded that he’ll never match up to his teammates, with their trophies, good grades, and _girlfriends_. 

He writes down, _just nervous about the game_ , and zeroes in on Mrs.Hill’s voice to block out the ones shouting in his head, those reminders flickering in his mind every second. He sees Zayn turn to him fully once he’s read the note and Liam looks over at him. 

“What if I come to the game?” Zayn suggests softly, smiling at Liam gently and leaning closer over his desk. “Would that make you feel better?”

“But you never come to the games.” Liam says without thinking, face going red when he realizes what he’s admitted.

Zayn smirks at him but doesn’t comment, eyes flicking up to the teacher before whispering, “I’ll go if you want me to.”

“Mr. Malik, is there a reason as to why you’re interrupting my lesson?” Mrs.Hill calls from the front of the class, beady eyes on Zayn alone as Liam starts wide-eyed.

The whole class turns to them, curious eyes taking in the way their bodies are turned toward each other and the way Liam’s face turns red. A couple of whispers fly out from the corner but Mrs.Hill only stares at Zayn, hand on her hip as she waits for an apology. Her sharp eyes wash over the leather jacket and darkened skin, missing the way his eyes go downcast in shame and the blush that creeps up his neck. Liam straightens up and clears his throat.

“Sorry, Mrs.Hill, it was my fault. I was asking Zayn about something I didn’t quite understand and he was just showing me his notes.”

Zayn jerks his head over to gape at Liam but he doesn’t pay him any attention as he uses his best puppy dog stare to sway Mrs.Hill from her witch hunt. He can feel everyone’s eyes on him and he hates it, feels it itching under his skin but he keeps his gaze level with the teacher. He knows why she only singled out Zayn, he’s not stupid no matter what his grade reports say. But it isn’t right and he’s going to make sure she knows it.

“Alright, Mr. Payne, but if I catch you again, it’s detention,” she replies, eyes drifting over both of them.

He hears Zayn let out a breath but Liam doesn’t move until everyone has turned back to face the front and the teacher has begun talking, her eyes sneaking over to them more frequently than before. After a few more minutes, he relaxes in his seat and chances a look at Zayn but the other boy won’t look at him, keeping his eyes to the front and writing down notes as Mrs.Hill speaks.

It isn’t long until the bell rings and the students all shuffle their books and papers together and make their way out the door, a low hum of chatter following them as they go. Liam takes his time packing up his things and slings his bag over his shoulder, his jacket rubbing against his skin uncomfortably. Before he goes he skims his fingers over Zayn’s desk, dropping a small, folded up piece of paper in front of him and slipping out the door.

He doesn’t miss the wide grin on Zayn’s face as his golden eyes scan over the note before tucking it into the pocket of his leather jacket and biting down on his bottom lip. 

_i’ll look for you in the stands tonight._

\--

As per usual after a game, Dinah’s is bustling with excited teenagers from schools all over the district celebrating a win or consoling themselves from a loss. the owners of Dinah’s - whoever they are, Liam doesn’t know but is grateful to them - tend to keep the place entirely neutral so all sorts of people come milling in and out of there. When Liam walks in, Leigh-Anne and a young girl who looks familiar but he doesn’t know are behind the bar and taking people’s orders. A couple of the other regular waitresses are at tables and the Rock and Roll Waltz comes blasting through the place. 

He looks over his shoulder to make sure Zayn is still behind him and starts to head to the table by the jukebox where the gang is waiting. Liam hoped Zayn would show at the game and was beatific when he scanned the crowd in the stands to see his greased up head hovering beside Jade. 

He kept staring until he caught Zayn’s eye and sent him a giant smile, a blush splattered on the rounds of his cheeks. Since he didn’t exactly _play_ during games, Liam kept looking over his shoulder and up into the crowd, finding those golden eyes locked on his. When he found the other boy waiting for him outside the locker room after the game, Liam couldn’t help the warmth of happiness that spread over his face, grinning widely at the boy. 

“You sure your friends won’t get salty about me joining tonight?” Zayn asks, biting on his bottom lip and tucking his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket.

They stop by the doors and Liam takes in the slightly panicky look on Zayn’s face. He wishes he could touch him, a gentle brush of fingertips along the back of his hand just to let him know it’ll be alright. That his friends already know and are happy for him and that it’s just a couple of milkshakes and some conversation.

“Of course not. They’ll adore you.” Liam replies.

“How do you know that?”

“Because I do.”

Zayn’s expression softens and he looks at Liam, those golden eyes brightening just a little as he smiles. Trying not to overthink on the idea that he’s said too much, Liam turns back around and heads to the their table, flexing his fingers as he fights the urge to twine them with Zayn’s.

“Hey guys.” He says, receiving a loud round of hellos in return. 

Of course, Louis is the first to notice Zayn who is half tucked behind Liam’s broad shoulders. He raises an eyebrow at Liam who smiles and shrugs before sliding into the booth beside Niall and Jade.

“Have a seat, Malik, we’re just about to order food.” Louis says, blue eyes not looking up from the menu. 

Zayn sits, wide-eyed, before seemingly coming back to himself and slipping into the cool and calm demeanor he’s known for. Adjusting his jacket against his torso and swinging an arm onto the table, he smirks over at Liam and then clears his throat a little.

“What’re looking over the menu for, ya nosebleed, you guys come here almost every day and order the same thing?”

The question is directed at Louis but everyone looks over at him, small smiles on their faces at the complete disregard for politeness around new people. Niall’s the first to break the silence, barking out a laugh and pitching forward over the table a little. Louis smiles at Liam, eyes shining as if saying _i like this one_ and making Liam relax into the vinyl upholstery and grin back. 

Harry giggles into the sleeve of his argyle sweater and Louis nudges him in retaliation. The girl from the counter swings by their table and Liam does a double take when he looks at her because he swears those are Zayn’s eyes on this girl’s face.

“What can I getcha?” She says, a smile gracing her features and there’s Zayn’s smile. 

Confused, he looks over at Zayn who’s smiling up at this girl cheekily before saying, “Alright, Don?”

“I’d be better if I weren’t picking up after you.”

“It’s one night, geez.” Zayn groans though a smile picks up on his lips.

She brushes her bangs from her face, humming out a _mmmhmm_ as a response before smiling over at the rest of the table.

“Baby brothers.” She rolls her eyes as she nudges Zayn’s head a little.

The gang laugh and begin to fill in their usual orders - “I told you, Tomlinson.” “Shut it, Malik.” - but Liam’s still stuck on cheeky smiles and _baby brothers_ and the fact that they share the same smile. He straightens up in his seat, wanting to seem impressive even though Zayn’s sister doesn’t actually know who he is, let alone who he is to Zayn.

When she turns to him, he can feel Zayn’s eyes on him double-time and he mumbles out his usual - strawberry milkshake, coke, and a cheeseburger - feeling a blush paint his cheeks. Zayn’s sister taps the top of her notepad and walks away, the gang falling back into conversation pretty soon after. Niall is telling a story about one of the boys’ gigs in the next town over that involves Michael and a greaser’s girlfriend when Liam feels Zayn’s foot nudging against his ankle.

He looks across the table at him, watching Zayn’s eyes light up when he smiles at him and nudges back. They play like that for a while, secret smiles gracing their lips as they try to pay attention to Liam’s - and hopefully after tonight Zayn’s - friends. He bites down on his lip to keep from grinning like a madman and rubs his thumb along the material of the tabletop. 

“He is on the hook, alright.” Liam hears Louis drawl, turning his attention back on his friends to find them all staring at him.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Louis replies, shrugging in his denim jacket. “Just that you’re so gone for the greaseball over there that you haven’t been listening to a word I’m saying.”

Liam blushes hotly, feeling it creep up his neck and bloom over his face. His first instinct is to _deny deny deny_ , especially when someone at the nearing tables could hear them but he only ducks his head and rubs at the back of his neck. Zayn sputters across from him and it makes Liam look back up, eyes wide and mouth ready to spew apologizes when notices the boy smiling sweetly at him.

“Oh god, you too Malik?” Louis groans, tucking his face into Harry’s shoulder melodramatically - though Liam thinks he just needed an excuse to touch him.  
“I’m afraid so, Daddy-o.” Zayn says, golden eyes watching Liam for a reaction to which Liam just blushed even more. 

Jade makes a sound similar to what his mother makes whenever babies are near and Harry and Niall just laugh and mock the unfortunate hue of Liam’s skin as Louis makes kissing noises. He knows what usually happens to people like him when people find out the truth so he’ll take any and all light-hearted ridicule if it means that in the end, his friends still care for him.

“You...you don’t mind?” He asks carefully, eyeing each of them. “About me, I mean.”

They all erupt in a chorus of _no you donut_ or _don’t be absurd, we love you liam_ and it almost makes him burst into tears. Instead, he whispers a thank you that he hopes conveys how thankful he truly is and sends a watery tip of his lips over at Zayn who’s just staring at him proudly. Liam takes a deep breath and nods his head a few times, still processing the idea that his secret is no longer a secret anymore. 

“Plus, it’d be pretty hypocritical of me, considering…” Louis says, voice petering out as he grins at Harry, who nods and leans into his side just a little bit more.

“You guys too?” Niall crows, smile as bright as his hair and hands smacking the table. He grins down at Jade and murmurs, “Looks like we’re all hitched up then?”

“Looks like it.” Jade replies, nudging up her glasses and smiling widely. 

Their time for confession and declarations is interrupted with the arrival of their colas and milkshakes and the gang’s chatter falls to a hush now that there’s outside parties around. The girl - Zayn’s older sister, his brain reminds him - smiles warmly at them before poking Zayn in the cheek before leaving. 

“I didn’t know both you and your sister work here?” Liam asks, curiosity getting the better of him and anxiety making him change the previous subject matter.

“She doesn’t, technically.” Zayn responds, sipping on his cola before continuing. “I needed someone to cover for me and our parents just asked her.”

“Your parents?” Niall asks, eyebrows flying up his forehead in surprise. 

“Yeah.”

“But why would they decided who - ” Liam starts to ask before trailing off as he comes to realize. “Your parents own Dinah’s?”

Zayn nods, sipping his cola with a small smile. The gang all cheer at the idea, none of them ever having figured out who owned the place since it opened all those years ago and curious to know why. With five expectant eyes on him, Liam watches Zayn flutter a bit under the scrutiny and touches his foot to Zayn’s under the table. 

He’s about to change the subject - maybe ask about what they thought of the game or if niall should hit the bottle with another colour other than blonde - but then Leigh-Anne comes over with half of their plates and the promise of more food, cutting off conversation for the foreseeable future. 

He catches Zayn’s eye across the table and sends him a comforting smile. With their ankles brushing underneath the table, Zayn mouths out a thank you that makes him duck his head to keep from grinning like a spaz at his friends. Their burgers come and they tuck in quick,the conversation moving on to lighter topics like how many times Harry can make Louis turn red or that new record that they’re showcasing at The Bop. 

All in all, Liam thinks that his day ended a lot brighter than when it started.

\--

_He's got a smile that makes the lilac wanna grow_  
_He's got a way that makes the angels heave a sigh_

Jade couldn’t hold it in any longer, she’s spent the past week tossing and turning in bed, hoping that once the dawn arrived, it wouldn’t be true. She can still hear her voice, yelling and insinuating and making her feel so small. She knew she’d get some schtick from people in town - she’s not dumb, she knows the look people give her when she and Niall walk through town together - but she didn’t think her own mother would -

Blinking back tears, Jade pulls herself back together and brushing a hand over the skirt of her dress, needing to be strong. There’s a small part of her hoping Niall won’t bow out without a fight but she knows in the end, her mother’s wishes come first. 

That’s why she finds herself, an hour later, standing outside Niall’s front door. She wavers a little before knocking, fear clutching at her heart, but her fist hits the wood before she can think twice about it. She waits for a twenty agonizing seconds before Niall and his bright blonde head pop through the door with a bright grin.

It’s there on the porch of Niall’s family home, smiling up at the boy she loves, that Jade finally feels the nerves and anxiety leave her body. 

“Jade, this is a surprise.” He says, smile never faltering as he looks at her.

She has to look down, remembering why she’s here and what she has to tell him. If she loses her resolve now, she’ll never do it and Niall needs to know. He touches her arm and she looks up into his eyes, the blue sparkling under the morning sun, but the only thing she can do is smile.

“Come in,” He says, standing back and waving her go through. “The family’s all out for the day, so we can chat for a bit.”

“Actually can we stay out here?” She asks, the idea of being inside Niall’s house as she tells him is suffocating. “It’s nice out and we can sit on the porch swing.”

Niall nods, eyebrows tilted in confusion but he lets it go thankfully. He sits beside her, the swing rocking a little underneath them, and she stares out at the street to distract herself with the playing children. Jade stays quiet and wrings her hands in her lap, unable to look Niall in the face as she starts to speak.

“I can’t see you anymore.”

There. It’s done.

“What?” Niall chokes out.

She doesn’t look over at him, instead keeping her eyes on the kids playing in the street. A chill breezes by and Jade wraps her cardigan around her torso but she still feels cold. She feels Niall softly touch her shoulder to get her to look at him but she can’t. If she does, she’ll never get through it. She hears her mother’s voice in her head _you tell that boy now and you tell him quick._

“I can’t be with you.”

“Why not?” 

She doesn’t reply.

“Tell me.”

Jade wants to turn and look at him at the hopelessness in his tone but she stays strong. She’s silent, though her hands clench a little harder, her fingernails creating indents in her skin. Niall moves a little closer, his arm going around her back, and she can feel his breath along the side of her neck.

“Please look at me.” He whispers, his voice almost tipping into a whimper and crushing all of Jade’s resolve.

She turns to him, eyes wet and biting on her bottom lip. Niall searches her eyes for something and she wants to tell him everything but knows it’ll only hurt him more, so she stays quiet. He brings a hand up to cup the side of her face and Jade can’t help the tear that falls down her cheek. Niall’s quick to wipe it away as it falls below the rim of her glasses, blue eyes locked on hers imploringly. 

“Jay, please, tell me what’s going on.”

“I can’t,” she whispers, closing her eyes so she doesn’t have to see the dejected look on Niall’s face any longer.

“Jade, I just can’t let you go.” He continues, but she clenches her eyes shut even tighter. “Please.”

And that’s the last straw. Her eyes open and flicker up at his face then down to her lap, her chest tightening at his hollowed tone. Maybe after he knows he’ll be able to let it go, let her go. 

“My mother, she - she don’t want me seeing you anymore.”

“What? Why?” Niall asks incredulously. 

Jade doesn’t know how to tell him without hurting his pride or making him upset, so she mumbles her answer, knowing he can’t hear her. But then he tips up her chin and begs her with his eyes - the bright blue damp with unshed tears - and she gives in quickly. 

She tells Niall about how her mother found out from Leigh-Anne’s about them going to the greaser party last week and that Jade was acting ‘unladylike’ and ‘improper’. _They already say unmentionable things about us, Jade, why’re you giving them more ammunition._ She tells him how her mother used the words ‘Irish delinquent’ and how she is never to see him again.

She doesn’t tell Niall about finding out the truth about her father. That he was some soldier in the war who was on leave, a man with too much time on his hands and promises on his lips. He told her mother pretty lies and then left without a word. Her mother tried for months trying to contact him, to tell him she was pregnant but to no avail. After that, the whispers started in town and they never really stopped. _I will not have you make the same mistakes I did, my darling._

By the end, Jade’s got fresh tears painting her cheeks and Niall’s thumb pressing into her skin for reassurance even though she can see the fire behind his eyes. He leans his forehead on hers and breathes out slowly until their breaths are synchronized. The morning sounds continue around them - kids on bicycles and women chatting in the garden about this and that - but Jade can’t focus on anything except Niall.

“This doesn’t change anything, Jay.” He whispers, breath skimming over her skin.

“How can it not?” She’s never heard herself sound so hopeless before.

“Because if our friends can be together with all the odds they’ve got stacked against them then so can we.”

“It’s not the same, Ni.”

She feels his fingers tighten on her shoulder and then let go, reassuring her or himself, she doesn’t know. He takes a deep breath as if gearing up to something and Jade slides her hands up his chest to wrap around his neck, the pads of her fingertips gently kneading the flesh of his nape to relax him. She wants to savour the moment, soak in all that Niall is when he’s alone with her, now that she knows she’ll never have him again. 

She’ll never see him smile crookedly at her when Jade uses a new hip phrase and she’ll never get to lace their fingers together when she knows Niall is stressed and she’ll never get to feel his lips against her skin. Jade lets out a quiet sob against Niall’s mouth, feeling him grip her tighter and murmur soft words before saying determinedly,

“Well then because I _love_ you. And I won’t let you go.”

Jade pulls back from Niall’s embrace, every nerve in her body alight as she replays his words in her head. He smiles at her, as if saying _yeah you heard me right_ , and she launches herself at him, swinging her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. She feels Niall’s hands slide over her back slowly and his wide grin pressing against her neck as he brings her in closer. They stay wrapped up in the hug for a moment, breathing each other in.

This morning, all Jade could feel was hopelessness but now - despite the fact that her mother still thinks Niall is a low-life J.D. - she feels a little lighter, like everything will be alright in the end. With Niall’s i love you wrapped inside her heart and her fingers entwined with his, Jade feels like they can convince her. Pulling away, Jade smiles before leaning in and pressing a chaste kiss against the seam of Niall’s lips.

“For the record, I love you too.” Jade says after she pulls back, cheeks turning pink as she ducks her head into Niall’s neck, feeling him laugh and wrap his arms around her. The cool morning breeze goes by and they sway on the porch swing, feeling happier and happier with the cadence.

\--

The mid-morning breeze over the lake feels great against Liam’s skin as he stretches out against the wooden surface of the bridge. Zayn is lying beside him, arm thrown over his eyes to shield him from the sun peeking through the clouds. Liam turns his head and looks at Zayn, eyes dipping down from his face to travel along the length of his body. Donning his usual white tee, sleeves rolled up around a pack of cigarettes, and Levi’s with the hem turned up, Zayn looks good. 

The warm heat in his navel returns - if he’s honest, it never really went away - and he bites down on his bottom lip, squirming against the bridge.

“Y’alright?” Zayn drawls, feeling Liam shifting as he accidentally nudges Zayn’s foot. 

“Yeah, yeah fine.” He replies, voice just an octave higher.

Zayn rolls his head to the side, moving his arm down from his face to meet Liam’s eye. He kicks out and his foot makes contact with Liam’s shin but Liam just shrugs, blushing harder. Now that he’s started thinking about it, he can’t stop. He thinks about the way Zayn felt that night of the barn party, pressed against him, hands on his skin and hips moving against his. The feel of his mouth on Liam’s, breath skimming over his face as Zayn panted into the night air, freezing up as he came in Liam’s hand.

He rips his gaze from Zayn as his face feels inflamed and tries to discreetly move his hands from his sides to cover the growing tent in his jeans.

“Leeyum,” Zayn drawls out, turning until he’s crawling over to Liam’s side and smirking down at him. His duck tail ‘do is as perfect as ever but Liam wonders what it feels like without all the grease in it. 

Liam doesn’t respond or look at Zayn, knowing if he does the hard work he’s doing to quell his arousal will be for nothing. Next thing he knows, he’s got a lap full of Zayn grinning mischievously down at him. Zayn’s hands come down to brace himself on Liam’s chest as he props himself up on his elbows, a panic in his chest as his gaze flicks down to his pants and groaning when the bulge persists.

“What’re you thinking about, Leeyum?” Zayn asks, a smile in his voice and a shift in his hips when he says thinking.

Liam lets out another groan when Zayn shifts again, adding pressure over his erection and making him fall onto his back. He glares up at Zayn when he does it again, a surprised look gracing the other boy’s features when Liam’s hips push up on instinct alone. He crouches down, his face hovering over Liam’s and brushes their lips together.

“What do you want, Liam?” Zayn murmurs, grinding his hips down on Liam’s so so slowly and his mouth works over the slope of his jaw.

Liam’s sure his brain had shut off when Zayn had straddled Liam’s waist but it’s kicked back into gear at that question, hundreds of images and ideas coming to mind. He notices that Zayn’s hard too, the bulge in his jeans distracting Liam from his train of thought. The idea that he can get this beautiful boy to feel even a fraction of what Liam is feeling right now is so overwhelming. 

“Louis and I once talked about - about what it would feel like to have someone’s mouth...on there.” He says, blush intensifying as he looks anywhere but at Zayn.

“So you want me to put my mouth on you?”

He says it so plainly but the words and Zayn’s voice almost make Liam fall off the bridge and into the lake, instead he lets out a moan and rock up into Zayn. He shakes his head, hands coming up to skim the side of Zayn’s thighs, fingers catching on the harsh denim as he finally looks up at Zayn’s face.

“I wanna - ” Liam swallows harshly, those golden eyes darkening a little at his words. “I wanna put my mouth on you, actually.”

He lets out an oomph when Zayn falls forward without warning, sliding his mouth over Liam’s in a kiss that goes straight to his cock. Liam rocks against Zayn as they kiss, the other boy doing something amazing with his tongue before he pushes against Zayn’s shoulders. He nudges the boy back until he’s laying flat against the wooden surface of the bridge before Liam sits back on his haunches and surveys the situation. 

Obviously he’s never done this sort of thing before so he narrows his eyes and stares at Zayn’s crotch for a long moment, wondering where to start. Zayn lifts himself up on his elbows and slides a hand up Liam’s arm before pulling him down by his shoulder, smiling at him softly.

“You sure?” He asks, eyes watching Liam carefully.

“This place is deserted, yeah?”

“Yeah, no one comes ‘round these parts.”

“Then yeah, I’m sure.”

His fingers shake a little as he slowly unbuttons Zayn’s jeans, the denim giving easily as he tugs them down his thighs. Looking up at Zayn briefly to find him staring hotly at Liam, he surges up to plant a hard kiss on his mouth before sliding back down and stroking a finger down the length of Zayn’s cock still pressing against his white boxers. He hears the boy let out a gasp above him but doesn’t look, knowing it will be the end of him.

Deciding to make quick work of it, Liam tugs the boxers down too and wraps a loose grip around the base of Zayn’s cock. He wets his lips and swipes his tongue across the head, deciding to just dive in and go for it despite the nerves wracking his body. He listens for Zayn’s reactions as he licks up the shaft, needing to know what he likes and doesn’t. Liam needs to be good at this. 

“Wrap your mouth around and - ” Zayn whispers, fingers coming down to slide into Liam’s hair and cup the back of his head. “And just suck me, Li.”

A moan rumbles through him and he follows Zayn’s quiet murmurs of instruction, minding his teeth and sucking around the head because Zayn makes these little keening noises that Liam revels in. There’s a lot of spit, dribbling past his lips and down Zayn’s cock and Liam uses it for lubrication as he uses his hand to stroke what he can’t fit in his mouth. 

He can feel Zayn halting the canting of his hips and he’s grateful, his free hand stroking under Zayn’s t-shirt and rubbing at the warm skin of his stomach, feeling it clench beneath his fingers. He pulls off of Zayn, jaw aching and lips bruised, to watch his face as Liam continues to stroke him. The last time they did this, it was dark and Liam didn’t get to see the fan of his eyelashes across his cheeks or the way Zayn bites down on his lip as he rocks his hips up.

“I’m gonna aahhh,” Zayn gasps out, fingers digging into the nape of Liam’s neck as his body seizes and he comes over Liam’s fingers. Liam grins, falling onto Zayn’s side and leaning over the edge of the bridge to dip his come-covered fingers into the lake, washing it away.

“C’mere.” Zayn growls, yanking Liam around to face him and crashing their mouths together despite the fact that Liam’s mouth probably tastes awful. Zayn’s other hand snakes down his body and dips under the waistband of his jeans and boxers to take hold of Liam. He keeps his mouth on Liam’s as he wanks him off, long fingers twisting on the upstroke and making Liam jerk into his hand. He whispers Liam’s name into his skin and tells how great he did and how no one else makes him feel this way. It only takes a few swipes over the head of his cock for Liam to come, mouth just hanging open as he pants against Zayn’s face.

They both lie back, panting into the morning air and letting the cool breeze wash over their overheated skin, pulling up their pants and making sure everything is tucked away and tidy. Liam lets out a huff of laughter as he processes his first blowjob and that he did it in the middle of the lake. He must be insane. Or in love. Or both.

He looks over at Zayn who’s grinning lazily at him and thinks, yeah definitely both. Leaning in, Liam asks for a kiss and Zayn is happy to oblige, mouth fitting against Liam’s perfectly as his hand runs slowly over Liam’s chest. The subtle sounds of morning life echo around them as the birds chirp playfully and the wind rustle the leaves, creating a peaceful backdrop to their hideaway. Liam shifts around a little before grimacing and pulling away from Zayn’s mouth just a fraction, glancing down at his jeans before back up at Zayn.

“You’ve gotta stop ruining my pants, man.” Liam laughs into Zayn’s mouth, hand coming up to cradle his jaw as he seals their mouths together again softly. 

“Now where’s the fun in that?” Zayn’s laugh reverberates off the lake and soaks into Liam’s chest and he can’t help but kiss him again, wrapping his arms around him and pushing all that he can into the kiss. 

He knows their situation isn’t ideal - the greaser and the football player isn’t exactly a traditional romance - and if anyone saw them so much as brush arms in public, there’d be an outcry of suspicion and accusations that could be lethal. But despite all of that, he can’t seem to walk away. Despite the terrifying odds against them, just knowing that Zayn loved him is enough to make it all worth it. And if all they have are stolen moments between the trees than Liam is going to make the most of them.

\--

“Zayn, are you sure this is a good idea?”

He’s a little nervous - okay, a lot nervous - and people keep staring at him standing by Zayn’s side as if he has no right to be there, which might very well be true. The smell of leather, whiskey, and pool cue chalk permeates the air and Liam wrinkles his nose a little and hears Zayn laugh.

“You get used to it.” He says before nudging his arm and nodding over to a table of people by the bar.

Liam fights the urge to pull on the neck of his dark blue polo shirt, even though he feels like he’s suffocating in the smoke-filled room. He’s a fish out of water in his khaki pants and clean-cut ‘do but he straightens his back when they reach the table where Zayn’s friends sit and plasters on a smile. His gang of friends are strewn along the booth and Liam watches as they greet Zayn with loud, familiar voices. 

“Who’s the square?” One of them asks with a laugh - Liam thinks his name is Ant, one of the Riach brothers who works at the garage on Hayden. 

Zayn punches his shoulder and tells him to move over, making room for him to sit and telling Liam to sit across from him. On his right sits a girl with bright blonde hair - probably from the bottle like Niall’s - and a sweet face. He gives her an awkward smile to which she returns, though hers has an amused edge to it that makes Liam blush a little. 

Zayn introduces Ant and Danny - the other Riach brother - who’re laughing next to him and keeps his golden eyes on Liam as he says hello, with all the manners his mother taught him, only to get a couple of laughs in return.

“Excuse them, they were dropped on their heads.” Zayn gripes, sending an amused look over at the boys before swinging an arm around Ant’s shoulders. His foot touches Liam’s underneath the table, gently enough to look like an accident if anyone saw but direct enough that Liam knew it was meant for him. It makes Liam relax a little.

“I’m Perrie, by the way,” Perrie says, pushing out her small hand for a shake with a bright smile on her face. “Since that geezer couldn’t be bothered introducing me.”

Zayn makes a noise of protest, hands coming up in his defense - _i know how you like to make an introduction, pez_ \- when a napkin is tossed at his head. Liam shakes her hand and tells her his name before ducking his head when she yells something at Zayn. 

The jukebox by the front doors is blasting rockabilly tunes that Liam knows Louis would be drooling over and wonders if he’s ever stepped foot inside here before. It’s not their usual crowd, he thinks as he scans the patrons twisting on the dance floor, so he might not have.

The record changes into something by Carl Perkins and Liam burns holes in the wood of the table, fingertip playing in the condensation from the beer glass in front of him.

“What in the world is Liam Payne doing in a greaser bar?” 

Liam looks up from where he’s making invisible shapes along the tabletop to see Jesy Nelson standing a couple feet away, hand on her hip and a smirk on her lips. Her black pedal pushers are tight around her shapely thighs and the white blouse is unbuttoned enough to make Liam blush hotly. He looks back down at his hands, feeling the blush creep up his neck when Zayn tells her to leave him alone.

“You talk much, sport-o?” Jesy says, making him look up and catch her eye.

She leans forward on the back of the chair she’s got her legs straddled around, arms folded over the back and eyes sharp on Liam. Jesy is definitely someone to be wary of - if any of the stories Zayn told Liam are true - but he also doesn’t want her to think he’s some punk. He straightens up, leaning back against the booth and looks at her.

“Whatcha wanna talk about?” He replies, putting a confident smile that hides the bundle of nerves exploding under his skin. Being cheeky is more Louis’ thing but he’s been around him long enough to pick up a few things.

Jesy smiles wider before turning to Zayn and slapping his shoulder. Liam found it odd that she could act that way to their supposed ‘leader’ but he doesn’t really understand how things work in their world. From what Liam can see there’s very little inhibitions and rules, girls wearing and doing what they want while the men just kind of grease up their hair and talk about cars, talking loudly and loosely about whatever they wanted. It’s like something Liam can only dream of except it’s right there in front of him. 

His gaze flickers over to the dancefloor and the people there are dancing similarly to the ones at Grimshaw’s barn party. They press against each other with no space between them, their bodies rocking together that sends flashes of memory to him and Zayn in the dark. Some couples are just hanging off each other, swaying to the music as their hips gyrate together but others are making out, tongues diving in each others mouths for all the world to see.

“You wanna dance, sport-o?” Jesy says, watching him as he watches the dancers.

“I, uh, I don’t really know how to dance like that.” He replies, eyeing the dance floor warily.

“It’s easy.” 

Jesy smoothly stands out of the chair, stretching out a hand and wiggling her fingers out at Liam. He looks over at Zayn for help or reassurance or something but the boy only grins and nods his head toward the floor. With a quick glare in Zayn’s direction, Liam stands up and takes Jesy’s hand. 

“Don’t worry,” she continues, grinning up at him as they walk toward the crowd of people. “It’s just like sex except with all your clothes on.”

Liam stumbles at her words, skin heating up and eyes widening so much he thought they’d pop out. He hears her laugh but her back is to him and he takes that time to compose himself. When they stop in the middle of the dance floor, Jesy turns to face him and slides her arms around Liam’s waist and pulls him forward until they’re flush against each other. He swallows thickly, and looks her in the eye with a silent question of what to do next. She takes his hands and places them on her hips.

“Now, you just kind of move your hips forward,” she says, red lipstick bright against her white teeth. “And we move together to the beat.”

Liam nods. Looking down to watch his body move, it starts off stilted before he finds the rhythm and matches Jesy’s. He huffs out a laugh and they dance through till the end of the song, the couple next to them only coming up for air once or twice. He looks over at the table to find Zayn’s golden eyes on them, gaze lidded and reminiscent of the look he gave Liam down by the lake and he has to repress as shiver.

“I know,” Jesy says, bringing his attention back to her. “About you two, I mean.”

A panic rips through Liam’s chest and he goes to pull away, body halting its movements amidst the dancing crowd. Jesy rolls her eyes and pulls him back. 

“I’m not gonna _tell_ , don’t get frosty.”

“Then why’re you bashing my ears about it?’ Liam asks, remembering some of the new hip talk that Jade taught him, and scowling at her.

“Because Zayn is one of mine. And I look after my own.”

Liam looks down at her confused, eyebrows scrunching together and mouth twisting up. He shakes his head a little and blurts out “Wait, you’re the leader of the gang?” and getting the most disgusted look in return before Jesy punches his arm with a resounding “Yes, you germ”. Quelling down his surprise, Liam bites on his bottom lip and nods slowly. A slow song by The Four Aces filters out throughout the bar and the two of them pick up the pretence of dancing, a little more space between them this time.

“He tells me about you, sometimes,” Jesy says, eyeing him carefully. “And you seem like an alright guy, Liam, but know that you are cruisin’ for a bruisin’ if you ever hurt him. Ya dig?”

Liam nods quickly, knowing that Jesy Nelson’s threats never go unfulfilled, and flashes what he hopes is a reassuring smile. She steps back from his grip, slapping the side of Liam’s hip and jerks her head toward the table.

“C’mon. I’ll let you buy me a drink since you’re such a terrible dancer.”

\--

_You make me thrill so much_  
_You've got the magic touch_

“Louis.”

“Yeah, H?” Louis looks over at Harry with a knowing grin as the curly-haired boy stares out the dashboard window at their surroundings.

Louis’ ‘53 Chevy is parked at the end of the look out, the headlights switched off as he turns off the ignition and slides his arm over the back of Harry’s seat, turning his body to look at him. Beside them, along the grassy hill and rocky overlook, are a series of parked cars and Louis can see the moment it clicks in Harry’s mind.

“Did you bring me to make-out point?”

"Maybe,” Louis says, feigning confidence.

Harry lets out a nervous giggle, his hand coming up to ruffle his curls - something Louis’ come to understand means that Harry is nervous - before he turns to face Louis. They stare at each other for a moment before Harry ducks his head and begins fiddling with the radio - which isn’t on - and tapping his fingers on the dashboard. He glances at everything, green eyes perusing the lights of the city outside that’re barely visible among the bright headlights around them. He glances at everything but Louis when he asks nervously. “So...is this your car?”

“Yeah…” Louis drawls, hand reaching out and gently laying on Harry’s shoulder. The curly-haired boy jerks his head toward Louis and he watches as Harry blinks wide-eyed at him before clearing his throat and looking away. Louis doesn’t remove the hand from his shoulder, instead gently pressing into the soft fabric of his vest.

“It’s nice. Real...nice.”

A few seconds of silence pass before Harry’s eyes trail up from the hand on his shoulder to the face of its owner. Louis looks at him, curious.

“You okay?” Louis asks, tilting his head to peer at Harry.

Before he can continue talking, Harry leans forward, his hand braced on the seat between them, and presses his mouth to Louis. Louis’ surprised even though (and he would never admit to it) he had planned and hoped for something like this. So when Harry’s soft lips are pressed against his own, all Louis can think of is how maybe he should’ve started using Vaseline like his mom told him. What if his lips aren’t soft enough? He swallows his doubt and gently pushes back, moving his closed lips against Harry’s. 

It’s a smiling, closed kiss, or at least, _it was_. Then Harry, damn him, opens his mouth in a soft sigh. Louis pulls back and eyes Harry, who still has his shut tight. The younger boy seems to notice the absent pressure and blinks his way to Louis’ gaze, heavy lidded and bright. A syrupy slow smile spreads across his features as he reaches for Louis, pulling him in again. 

“Harry,” Louis gasps, “ _Harry_.”

A grunt.

“Harry.”

He grunts again.

Resting his forehead against curls, Louis says, “We gotta slow down, babe.”

“Don’t wanna.”

Louis pecks his lips and grins. Harry is so eager and young that it’s impossibly easy to forget to learn to walk before you start running the Boston Marathon.

“We have time, babe,” Louis says as he reaches a hand to turn on the radio, raising the volume a little.

The sound of The Platters fills the warm air of the car as Louis leans into him, grabbing his sweet sweater vest in his hands. They have time. It’s a little while later when Louis notices Harry squirming in the chair, arching his back in mild discomfort. They break apart and he looks at Harry inquisitively.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing. Come here,” Harry says, pulling Louis towards him.

Louis places a hand on his chest and presses him against the seat.

“Your back is bothering you.”

“I’m fine, Lou, please.”

Louis looks at the boy contemplatively.

“Get in the back, we can lie down easier back there.”

Harry’s eyes widen suddenly - as if he realizes something - and he practically pushes Louis off of him and into the back. Louis watches from the back seat, comfortably leaning against the vinyl seat covers, as Harry wiggles himself into the back. Only instead of sitting beside him, he maneuvers himself onto the floorboard of the car and Louis lets out a small gasp. Harry just sits compacted in between Louis’ knees as he looks up at him from a heavy-lidded gaze, waiting for his word.

Something stirs in Louis’ stomach at the sight of this boy between his legs. There’s a palpable tension in the air when Harry’s hand reaches up to touch Louis’ chest. Bunching the fabric, Harry lifts Louis’ shirt, exposing his tummy to the sticky, warm air of the car. Harry places a hand there and Louis hopes he can’t feel the butterflies. He can see the windows start to fog up, his breath coming out just a little bit too loud in the tense silence.

Louis closes his eyes, sighing quietly, just at the contact but then startles at a pair of warm lips on his body, mouthing at his skin.

"What are you doing?” Louis gasps as Harry brushes his mouth further down his navel.

“I read about it in an issue of Playboy,” Harry replies, long fingers tentatively sliding over the sides of Louis’ thighs.

“What were you doing reading Playboy?” Louis asks with a chuckle that dies quickly when Harry’s hands make their way over the fly of his jeans.

Louis can only watch as Harry pops the button and pulls the zipper down, a sly grin on his lips as he stares at Louis’ face, revelling in his reactions. He yanks Louis’ jeans down to his ankles before making quick work of slipping off Louis’ white boxers too. Falling back against the seat with his head against the window, Louis hides his face into the crook of his arm as he feels the heat of Harry’s breath on his thighs.

“I read it for the articles, of course.”

Louis is about to reply with something snarky to try to gain the upper hand once more, but then Harry wraps his lips around the head of his cock and all thoughts disappear from his brain. His hand waves about, looking for something to hold onto before sliding over Harry’s shoulder and digging in as Harry’s mouth slides further down.

“Fuck!” Louis gasps out, feeling Harry’s fingers wrap around the base and stroke slightly.

Louis swings his head back, bumping harshly against the window and losing his grip on Harry. The impact brings him back to the wet sounds of Harry’s mouth around him. Looking down at the younger boy, Louis can see the sheen of sweat on Harry’s brow and how it seems to glisten in the dim light of the car. 

Moonlight glances on Louis’ exposed skin and all Louis knows is _HarryHarryHarry_ and how sloppy and spit soaked his cock is. He doesn’t mind that, thank you very much, because a mouth is a mouth but when the mouth is on a Harry Styles you do not question the technique. He wonders when his pickiness for sexual partners went out the window and thinks about a night after closing when a curly-haired boy stepped through the door.

Louis is a spring, a coil winding slowly and tightly and he can’t feel or hear anything other than Harry and his mouth. He feels everything all at once and it’s all so much but there is a still a part of him that knows he has to be the responsible one. It’s fairly obvious to everyone here that Harry has never done this before and the last thing Louis needs is for this boy to take too much, too soon and have a coughing fit. His body is tensing and he makes a grab at Harry’s curly mop with a frantic edge to it

“You gotta stop,” Louis whispers.

“Hmm?” Harry moans, mouth still obscenely wrapped around Louis.

“I don’t want to uh… you know. In your mouth, H.”

“I can do it.”

“Sure you can, but let’s not test that right now. Just, uh, hands? Yeah?”

Louis swears Harry looks crestfallen as he pulls off. His hands are quick to take their place on Louis’ cock. Harry wastes no time and neither, apparently, does Louis’ body. It’s only about a minute before there’s lights and a faint buzzing in his ear and with one last grip on Harry’s shoulder and a yelp of a warning, Louis comes over Harry’s fingers causing Harry to let out a surprised grunt against Louis’ cheek.

“Shit, sorry.” Louis says through a laugh, eyeing the come on Harry’s hands and rummaging under the driver’s seat for the box of tissues. He hands a couple to Harry who sheepishly wipes off his fingers, one by one. Looking over at Louis, Harry bites on his swollen bottom lip and asks, “Was that okay?”

“Okay?” Louis repeats, mouth hanging open in surprise as he yanks up his Levis, foregoing the boxers lying under the passenger seat and tucking himself behind the zipper.

He pulls Harry down towards him by the nape of his neck, gently easing his abused mouth open for a deep kiss. When Louis pulls away he whispers against Harry’s mouth, “That was incredible, H.”

Harry grins, his whole face lighting up and Louis falls back against the seat again in his exhaustion.

“Read it for the articles, my left foot, Styles.” Louis huffs out a laugh, breath still caught in his throat as he watches Harry lick his swollen red lips. “You don’t learn that from any article.”

Harry giggles, reverting back to the shy boy that timidly walked through the doors of The Bop all those weeks ago. The need to feel Harry’s skin against his returns and Louis grabs out for Harry, who easily complies and lays his body half on Louis; and half on the seat.

They lay there in silence for a few moments, Louis revelling in the way their bodies fit so perfectly, when he realizes something.

“Harry, you didn’t come.” He strangles out, his voice high as he shoots up into a sitting position, Harry being jostled upwards as well.

Louis paws at the sweater vest and yanks at Harry’s belt, only stopping when he realized that Harry wasn’t hard. Eyebrows pitching together, Louis looks up at Harry who is smiling down at him meekly, cheeks tinged pink.

“I...I did.” He mutters softly, gesturing towards his lower half half-heartedly, as if he didn’t want Louis to look there.

Fingers tracing up Harry’s clothed thigh, Louis begins to feel the dampness of Harry’s pants as he gets closer and closer to his crotch. With the heart-stopping realization that Harry came in his pants, Louis jerks up and smashes his mouth against Harry’s in a bruising kiss.

Under the dim light of the moon, in the back seat of his Chevy, Louis holds Harry and wonders when this boy, with his dopey smile and khaki pants, managed to worm his way into his heart. With a soft kiss to Harry’s mop of curls, Louis hums into the silence, singing lines from The Platters that he finally, truly understands.

_“Here I go reeling. I'm feeling the glow. But where can I go from you?”_

\--

_I need you more each day_  
_Much more than words can say_  
_More than forever more_  
_I'll be yours_

Making sure he creeps up the stairs slowly, not wanting to wake up his parents and sisters at such a late hour, Liam tip toes into his room and carefully shuts the door. He flips the light on and begins undressing, smiling as his fingers wrap around the denim material of Zayn’s jacket that he let him borrow when the night got too cold. 

Knowing he’s alone, Liam presses his nose into the jacket and inhales Zayn’s scent and wishes the other boy had taken up his offer of staying over.

It’s getting harder and harder to not touch Zayn whenever he sees him ever since they’ve started doing more touching when they’re alone. He can see the frustration on Zayn’s face too and the clench of his fists in his lap when too many eyes are on them.

They might’ve been seen just last week when they were waiting for Louis to finish at The Bop, Harry spinning around by the counter as they perused the shelves. Liam was sitting in a listening booth, headphones over his ears and head bopping to the Bill Haley & His Comets record spinning when Zayn opened up the door and came into the booth beside him. 

“Hey, sport-o,” he murmured, a smile on his face as Liam removed the headphones.

Scowling, he replied, “Only Jesy can call me that and that’s only because that girl scares the pants off of me.”

Zayn laughed, body leaning closer to Liam’s and forgetting their private booth is actually situated in a quite public place. Uncaringly, Zayn’s fingers slid over the back of Liam’s hand as his eyes bore into Liam’s, his skin burning at the touch. His eyes told a different story than the gentle touch to his hand, lighting up with all the things he’s done and will do to Liam once they’re alone. 

Too fixated on each other, they both startled when the door to the booth opens and couple of girls Liam recognizes from school smiled apologetically at them.

“Sorry,” they had said, cheeks turning pink. “Are you done with the booth?”

Liam stood up immediately - always hating to be in anyone’s way - before yanking Zayn’s arm and pulling him out of the booth behind him. He apologizes to the girls and tells them to check out the record he left in there it’s really hep, i tell ya before smiling sheepishly at Zayn. The boy only grinned at Liam amusedly and knocked their shoulders together before turning to the stack of records by his hip.

It’s tough and terribly unfair, how they constantly have to hide, but it’s the only way they can be together. He slips into a white tank top and his sleep pants before switching off the light and crawling under the covers, his eyes slipping shut.

He recalls his life a few months ago before Zayn became a part of it so fully - the curiosity and fear whenever his eyes lingered too long. The times where he’d bike a little faster just to make it by his house when Zayn sat outside with his coffee, waiting for the comics to arrive or sit alone in Dinah’s on the off-chance Zayn would talk to him. 

It all seems so ridiculous as he lies here, wrapped up in Zayn’s scent with the recent memory of his touch branded on his skin. Gosh, he’s starting to sound like a Perry Como record.

He rolls over on his side, tucking his hands under his cheek, and tries not to think about Zayn long enough to drift off to sleep. Only before he feels himself drift off, the only thing he sees are a pair of warm, golden eyes and he smiles.

\--

It’s nearing mid-November, the air becoming frigidly cold and the leaves coating the sidewalks, and the town fair is readying up with the help of local businesses and volunteers. One of those volunteers being Liam. He volunteers every year - has since he was twelve years old - because he loves his town and its little get-togethers. Currently, he’s working on setting up the ticket booth with Louis on the other end complaining about how heavy it is.

“Every year, Li,” he moans, dropping the booth into its rightful spot. “Every year, you convince me to do this. I’m telling you I’m - ”

“Never doing this again.” Liam finishes with a grin, wiping the dirt on his hands on the sides of his jeans. “I know, Louis.”

Louis smiles cheekily at him, brushing a strand of hair that fell out of his jelly roll from his eyes. The pair head over to the benches that line the park and Liam’s eyes dart over to the pathway he knows leads to the fountain. He smiles, remembering that night with Zayn after the sock hop and the breathless pain in his chest after running from the security guard or the way Zayn kissed him. He follows Louis’ lead and flops onto the bench with a huff, sweat pooling at the base of his neck. 

He turns his head to look at Louis, taking in the calm edge of his features and he nudges his shoulder. Louis’ sharp, blue-eyed gaze turns on him and he scrunches his eyebrows in question. Louis’ been off all morning but didn’t want to ask if it is none of his business. Usually, Louis just shows up at his house one day and lays it all down.

“You don’t _have_ to help, Lou,” he says, wondering if that’s really what’s bugging him.

Louis lets out a small laugh and shakes his head. “It’s not that, it’s just - ”

He pauses, thinking over his words which alerts Liam already since Louis isn’t the type to think first before jumping into things. Liam watches him run a hand over the side of his hair, fingers shiny with grease that wipes on his Levi’s. As people mill about the park and work on the fair, Liam makes sure no one can hear them when he leans in closer and asks Louis what’s wrong. Louis ducks his head but turns it slightly to look over at Liam, his thumb swiping at the corner of his mouth.

“It’s just, ain’t it a bite how we gotta live our lives the way other people tell us to?” 

His cool eyes land on Liam’s and he’s not sure what Louis wants to hear. He isn’t used to this side of him, this agitated, almost caged-in buzz that vibrates off him in waves. Louis doesn’t really wait for an answer, mouth moving faster than it ever has, his knee bouncing as he speaks and making Liam worry even more.

“I mean, Niall and Jade can’t go steady ‘cause people have a problem with her mother and a family like Niall’s being mixed up in it, you and Zayn can’t even go outside without three feet between ya and comments about ‘slumming it’, and me, I - ”

Louis lets out this choked noise and Liam wants to hug him but he can’t - not out here with all these prying eyes - so he drags Louis up from the bench and into the secluded alcove by the fountain. He wraps his arms around Louis’ shoulders and holds him, feeling his body shake. 

“What am I going to _do_ , Liam?” He whispers harshly into Liam’s neck.

Blinking back his own set of tears, he clutches Louis to him and wishes he had all the answers for the question he’s been wondering himself. Louis pulls back, hands rubbing over his face as if trying to wipe away any evidence of his tears. He’s known Louis for a while and he’s never really seen him cry like this before. 

“He’s a _boy_ , Liam.” Louis whispers, eyes wide and wet. “How can I love a _boy_? It seems absurd, doesn’t it?”

Liam stays silent, eyes watching him warily as he voices each and every thought that’s been swirling around Liam’s brain for the past four months. He lets out a shaky breath and reaches out, fingers gripping Louis’ forearm in an attempt to steady them both. Louis looks up at Liam, blue eyes wide and then he smiles this rueful grin that has Liam soften.

“But, then I’m with him and it feels wonderful and right and I don’t give it another thought. Because it shouldn’t matter, right?” 

“No,” Liam whispers, voice a little shaky. “It shouldn’t matter.”

Louis sends him a watery smile and Liam wants to return it but he’s thinking about Zayn and their timid touches and secret kisses, the way people’s eyes take in his skin colour instead of the way his whole face lights up when he smiles, and the excited tone he gets when he talks about comic books. He thinks about his boy and he squeezes Louis’ arm tighter, feeling a little better when Louis’ hands come up to hold him too.

“It’s cage rattling, this whole thing.” Louis says after a long silence, smiling at Liam honestly now. “But if it means I’ve got Harry, then I’ll take it all. Even the bad bits.”

Liam smiles at Louis and nods, squeezing his arms one last time before letting him go, knowing exactly what he means. He watches Louis wipe at his already dried up tears, rubbing at his face to erase any expression of emotion until he looks like his usual self. He starts laughing out _i’m in a right state_ before clearing his throat. It’s awe-inspiring to see Louis go from the broken, hopeless figure he was ten minutes ago to the composed, assured young man he is at the moment.

“You sure you’re okay?” Liam asks, eyeing the hard set of Louis’ shoulders and wondering how he can build himself up so quickly. 

Louis nods and shoot him a smile, rolling back his shoulders and walking up the path. “C’mon, after we finish setting up, you owe me a milkshake.”

“But Lou, don’t you wanna talk about it?” He asks and goes to follow him, stopping by his side. Louis looks over to him, a sweet but twisted smile on his face.

“No. Because talking about it only makes me sad and when I think of Harry, I don’t want to think about all the ways we can’t be together when I could be thinking about the ways we can.”

In that moment, watching Louis’ face flit from irritation to adoration and into an expression of steady calmness, Liam understands him completely. He understands that he may not get the whole package in loving Zayn, everything Liam’s dreamt of since he was a boy, but he thinks that it all pales in comparison to those golden eyes. He ducks his head when Louis smirks at him as he knows what Liam’s thinking about and murmurs out an _Okay Lou_ before swinging an arm over his shoulders.

Together, they walk back out into main area of the park where volunteers are still putting together the fair and Louis begins to tell him about this night in The Bop when he was cleaning up and in walked a curly-haired menace who knew next to nothing about rockabilly. 

Liam laughs as Louis demonstrates the dance moves he was doing when Harry caught him, watching Louis blush just at the _memory_ of it. He learns more stories, tiny pieces of a love that has to be secret from most but not from some, as they work throughout the morning until two p.m. rolls around and they head down to Dinah’s for the aforementioned milkshake. 

Days from now, Liam will watch Louis’ eyes light up when Harry walks in The Bop and hear him chatter on about how silly Harry dresses, smiling all the while. Liam will grin widely, eyes narrowed into slits as his best friend blushes at a soft brush of Harry’s fingers over his elbow. He’ll watch on as Louis falls deeper and deeper in love, not doing a thing to stop it no matter how scared he is. Liam wonders if he’ll ever be that brave.

\--

_While I give to you and you give to me_  
_True love, true love_  
_So on and on, it will always be_  
_True love, true love_

Jade has never seen Niall look so nervous than when she swings open her front door to find him standing there - in his Sunday best, no less - all slicked up and smiling politely. His bright blue eyes are dimmed with nerves and his hands are shaking visibly. Eyes wide and mouth dropping open slightly, Jade pushes up her glasses before stepping out onto the porch.

“Niall, what’re you doing here?” She hisses, eyes darting out down the streets to make sure no one sees him. In this neighbourhood, he’d surely be spotted.

“I’ve come to explain things to your mother.” He replies plainly. 

“Are you insane, Horan?”  
Niall just smiles at her beatifically, the nerves fading out as his bravado wins over. He smoothes a hand over the folds of his tweed jacket and makes sure his hair is all in place and it just makes Jade even more angry. 

“Go, go home, you can’t - ” She whispers fiercely, waving her hand at him but he doesn’t move.

“Jade, who’s at the door?”

Behind her, Jade can hear her mother call out and she knows if she doesn’t answer in about five seconds, she’ll come find out herself. She calls back, _No one Mama!_ , and glares back at Niall who still hasn’t moved from the spot over their welcome mat. She hears her mother’s footsteps behind her and the gentle press of her hand on Jade’s shoulder - a gesture usually comforting to Jade but now only makes her heart fall into her stomach.

“Who’s this?” Her mother asks, looking over at Niall with suspicious eyes.

Before she can utter a word, Niall steps forward and stretches out his hand.

“Niall Horan, Mrs. Thirlwall. It’s nice t’ meet’ya.” His accent always comes out a little rougher when he’s nervous (or drunk) and Jade wants to grab his hand in comfort.

She takes her eyes off Niall to watch her mother’s expression turn from one of curiosity to a slate of indifference. Jade doesn’t know what to do. She flicks her eyes from Niall, who’s still waiting for her mother to shake his hand, to her mother who is staring at that hand as if it were a gun. After a long moment, she takes Niall’s hand and shakes it before inviting him inside for tea.

“Jade, go and make the tea while I talk to Mr. Horan in the main room.”

“Yes, Mama.” She replies, scurrying off but not before looking over her shoulder and meeting Niall’s eyes. He looks nervous again but smiles at her reassuringly and she feels like her whole body is going into shock. This could all go very very well or very very wrong.

Putting on the tea and willing it to boil faster, Jade goes over to the phone by the fridge and spins out Liam’s number, hoping he’s home. His mother picks up on the second ring and fetches Liam when she asks. She watches the kettle and hopes it’s almost done. Liam comes on the line a moment later and doesn’t let him finish his hellos before she whispering down the phone.

“Niall and my mum are in the sitting room, waiting for tea. I have no idea what she’s saying to him or him to her and I am flipping out.”

He shushes her gently, _Cool down, Jay. I’m sure it’s all good._

“This could go very, very bad.”

_I’m sure Niall is smart enough to handle your mother._

“You ran away from her when she confronted you about spilling coke on the porch, Liam.”

_I was thirteen._

The kettle whistles and Jade quickly tells Liam she has to go and hangs up quietly, pouring out the water into the teapot before bringing the tray out into the main room. There, she finds Niall sitting straight-backed on the couch and smiling tightly at her mother, the type of face people usually have when someone insults them but can’t defend themselves.

“Thank you, dear.” Her mother says, pouring herself some tea and letting Jade pour Niall’s and her own. “I was just telling young Mr. Horan here about your father, and our experience with his kind of people.”

“Mama!” Jade exclaims, embarrassed and appalled that her mother would be so harsh. She’s never known her to be anything but warm and kind, a disciplinary but fair, but now, she’s all hard edges and on the attack. She goes to sit on the couch next to her mother, knowing that if she sat next to Niall, things would only get worse.

Niall stares at her mother for a moment. Taking a couple sips of tea, he places the cup back on the tray before leaning forward and looking her mother in the eye. Jade can see her mother getting defensive before he’s even spoken and prays that this won’t end in bloodshed. Niall glances at her momentarily before looking back her mother and smiling gently. 

“Mrs. Thirlwall I love your daughter and I plan to spend the rest of my life with her.” 

Her mother looks shocked but covers it up quickly, “You’re only seventeen. You don’t understand love.”

“Maybe you’re right but I know that I want Jade to be happy and if that means being with me, then I’m the luckiest man in the world.”

Her mother turns to her, hands curled around her teacup and face weary. 

“You love this boy?”

“Yes, Mama.”

“And you want to marry him?”

“Yes, Mama.”

“Once Jade is done with her studies at university, of course.” Niall interjects, earning a look from her mother but she says nothing, only nodding.

The three sit in silence for a few moments, her mother sipping at her tea and humming while Niall and Jade stare at each other with looks of both confusion and apprehension. Her mother clears her throat and leans forward to place her empty teacup into the tray. Another beat of silence. She leans back in her seat and then turns to Niall. 

“Mr. Horan, could you wait in the foyer for a moment while I speak to my daughter?”

“Yes, m’am.”

He gets up and smiles politely at her mother, “Thank you for the tea...and for hearing me out.”

“Don’t thank me just yet, Mr. Horan.”

He stares a second longer before ducking his head and walking out of the room in long strides until Jade can longer see him. She lets out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding and looks up at her mother with a timid smile. 

“Are you sure about this, Jay?” 

“Yes, Mama.” Jade replies immediately.

“He might hurt you one day, turn his back on you and - and - ”

Jade reaches forward and tucks her hand in her mother’s, squeezing tight. Tears gather in her eyes but don’t fall, watching her mother take a deep breath and continue, “I just want you to be safe and happy.”

“He makes me happy, Mama.”

Her mother tips her chin down a little and Jade can see the the battle long gone from her face and dips forward to wrap her arms around her neck for a hug. Her mother squeezes back, pressing a kiss to her temple. 

“I love him, Mama.” Jade whispers into her neck.

“I know you do, sweetheart,” She replies while pulling back and looking her in the eye, hers shiny with tears that are being kept at bay. “I just want to protect you from everything bad in this world, that I think I stopped you from experiencing something good.”

“He’s a good one, Mama, I promise.” Jade whispers and falls back into another hug, this time with tears sliding down her face and a warmth in her heart. 

Her mother pats her hair and whispers _I just want you to be happy_ into her shoulder it only makes her cry harder and soon she’s soaked the material of her mother’s blouse and made a mess of her make-up. Pulling back, she hastily tries to wipe it up before her mother sees and comments on it, but is stopped by her mother’s small hands wrapping around her wrists. She smiles at Jade and whispers _you look beautiful sweetheart_ before kissing the top of her head and picking up the tea tray and walking into the kitchen.

Jade stays seated for a minute before jumping out of her seat and heading into the foyer to find Niall. She stops when he’s not there, his shoes also gone from the front door, before she swinging open the front door and calling his name. It gets caught in her throat when she see Niall leaning against the porch beams, rubbing a hand over his mouth. He looks wrecked.

“I -uh - I heard you crying in there and figured - I figured we’re over and I just couldn’t stand there like a fool.” He stutters out, wiping over his mouth repetitiously and barely able to get out the words. Jade can see his hands shaking and moves up to him quickly without saying a word and jumping into his arms. Niall is quick to wrap his arms around her waist and hold her to him but falls short when Jade smashes their mouths together, taking a while to respond to it. 

She opens her mouth to his, not giving a thought to anyone who can see them or if her mother comes out on the porch, because she’s kissing the boy she loves who loves her back and nothing could dampen that. Her arms tighten around his neck and she never wants to let go. Niall tries to say her name, gently putting her back on the ground and pulling away from the kiss, laughing into her mouth when Jade pulls him back in.

Finally, Jade relents, leaving one last peck on his lips before releasing him with a wide grin. Niall taps his forefinger to her nose, smiling down at her just as brightly, the two completely ignoring the world around them. Niall brings her in by the waist and laughs happily.

“Told you I’d never let you go.”

\--

_Two different worlds_  
_We live in two different worlds_  
_For we've been told_  
_That a love like ours could never be_

The twilight dips over the lake and the bridge and Liam slaps a hand on Zayn’s chest to wake him up, the dark-haired boy grunting and hitting his hand away. Liam crawls across the wooden bridge to hover over Zayn before dipping down and brushing his lips against his. He can feel Zayn smile into the kiss and wrap a hand behind Liam’s head to hold him in place.

“No more, daddy-o,” Liam murmurs while pulling away and licking his lips. “We’ve got to split.”

Zayn makes a noise of protestation and props himself up on his elbows, one hand on Liam’s neck to yank him back to him. They kiss for a long moment before Liam remembers they have to leave and pushes Zayn back. He smiles down at him, hand stroking down his chest and making Zayn purr under his fingers with a lazy smile. 

Without another word, he pushes off the ground and stands up while ignoring Zayn’s moans of protests and _c’mon leeyum kiss me just a bit longer_. Stretching his arms above his head, Liam realizes he’s still wearing Zayn’s leather jacket. He rubs a hand over the arm it, revelling in its softness despite how hard they make you look to other people. Shuffling his shoulders back, he slips it off and tucks it in his grasp before holding out a hand for Zayn to grab.

“I liked you in my jacket,” Zayn mutters and dips in for a deep kiss before grabbing and slipping it on, looking over his shoulder to smirk at Liam and wave him along. 

They walk down the sidewalk, shoulders brushing as they try not to stand too close but unable to stay away for long. Liam tells some ridiculous story where Louis dared Niall to dye his hair lilac - _because it’ll match your eyes, Horan_ \- but Niall adamantly refused but only because Jade overheard. It made Zayn giggle and fall into Liam, his golden eyes shining underneath the setting sun.

They finally arrive at the fair a half hour after they said they’d meet the gang, a small sliver of space between them as they walk and secret smiles on their lips. Louis barks out his annoyance at their lateness but forgets it quickly when Harry slings an arm around Louis’ neck and guides him over to the cotton candy stand. Liam shouts out a sarcastic protest, _i finally get here and you leave?_

“What took you guys so long?” Jade asks, curious eyes behind her spectacles. 

“Jay, I do not think you want an answer to that.” Niall swoops in.

Zayn lets out a loud laugh that startles Niall and Jade but makes Liam smile gently, loving how relaxed Zayn is in the presence of his friends, enough to laugh with abandon and waggle his eyebrows at Niall. The blonde chuckles and presses a kiss into Jade’s hair _told ya you didn’t wanna know_ before suggesting they all try the caramel apples and begin winding their way through the crowd to the stand in line.

Tightening his letter jacket around his body, Liam shivers at the cool autumn air before relaxing into the comfort of his friends. He thinks Niall is telling Zayn the story of how Louis convinced him to dye his hair blonde but all he can focus on is the crinkles by Zayn’s eyes as he laughs and the subtle touch of his skin as he leans into Liam. He wants to put his arm around him or press a kiss to his temple like Niall always does to Jade, but he holds back and settles for a fond smile.

He spots Louis and Harry by the tea cup ride, the older boy grinning at Harry with a brightness and adoration that Liam’s never seen grace Louis’ sharp features, the tears long dried from his face. They share a stick of cotton candy, lips shiny and eyes only on each other, and he wants to call them over so that the gang can hang out together but he knows now isn’t the time. 

Spotting Jesy and her gang loitering along the edges, smoking by the ferris wheel and laughing at some kid who’s throwing up chunks in the trash bin, Liam wonders if they’ll ever cross paths again. She looks over where Liam and Zayn are standing and nods, her lips tilting up into a smirk that says _of course sporto_ before he’s turning his attention back on Zayn, Niall, and Jade.

“You alright, Leeyum?” Zayn murmurs, the warmth of his body setting every nerve of Liam’s body alight. He wonders if that’ll ever stop happening when Zayn touches him. He hopes it never does.

“Yeah.” He replies, smiling so hard his eyes crinkle up. “Yeah, I’ve never been better.” 

\--

The sun is creeping up over the horizon and the birds have begun their morning song, a beat that Liam pedals to as he makes his way down his morning route. The stack of papers sits behind him as a line of sweat coats his skin but he pedals faster, knowing the finish line is soon. 

Turning onto Myer Street, a soft smile picks up on Liams lips and he tosses a bundled up newspaper onto the Larson’s porch. Mr. Dunn is already waiting for him when he rides by, so he slows down and hands him the paper with a smile - _great game last week, son_ \- before going on his way.

The end of Myer Street rears its head and Liam’s almost done his route. He brakes, stepping off his bike and kicking out the stand, before making his way up the driveway. The smile on his face stretches out into a grin when he finds Zayn sitting on the porch chairs wearing sleep pants and a white tank top, hair undone and flopping onto his forehead.

“You’re late.” He mutters, reaching out for the paper but happy to grasp Liam’s hand instead.

“Or you’re just early.” Liam retorts, dropping into the chair next to him.

“Let’s find out what kind of mess Dennis has cooked up for ol’ Mr. Wilson, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Liam smiles, opening up the paper to the comics and beginning to read, Zayn’s chin grazing his shoulder as he looks down at it to follow.

Despite the stack of papers sitting on his bike and the clock ticking behind them, reminding Liam that he has to get ready for school, he stays put and keeps on reading. It’s mornings like this that Liam recalls something Louis told him ages ago - _if it means I’ve got Harry, then I’ll take it all. Even the bad bits_ \- and it makes Liam think that even with all the bad bits, he’d still do it all over again if it meant he’d be with Zayn in the end. 

So they sit together, newspaper between them as they laugh at cartoon figures and share sips of Zayn’s coffee and Liam wishes for more mornings like this. Mornings where they sit on the porch of their very own house, years from now, with new wrinkles forming in their skin but the same old love in their heart. Mornings where he can kiss Zayn whenever and wherever he wants, revelling in the intimacy of their love. When he turns to smile at Zayn, who’s giving him that sweet smile where his tongue presses against the back of his teeth and his eyes scrunch up, he thinks that Zayn might want that too.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a doozy, lemme tell ya. I hope you liked it!!! xx
> 
> Here's a shameless but kinda shy link to my tumblr if ya wanna follow that: vanessamary.tumblr.com


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